I walked toward him, but he never lifted his face.
“I forgive you for leaving me with Dorian,” I spoke quietly. I was defeated and tired of being alone.
He looked up. “Don’t forgive me. Never forget what I have taken from you.” His voice scratched with despair. I didn’t recognize it at all.
I walked to him, getting lost in the beauty and feelings he made me feel. I stood between his legs and fought the urge to hug him and cuddle into him, just as I always did when I saw him. The memory of the look on Shane’s face stopped me.
He raised his face and met my gaze. “I love you so much, Aimee. It hurts so much to be away from you. I should leave you, but I can’t bring myself to do it.”
I dropped to my knees, accepting that my fate was to be with him, and that even with all we’d been through a part of me still loved him.
I leaned into him. “Stay with me through this, Aleks. I need you as much as you need me.”
I knew we were both alone in the world, and I had spent more than enough time alone. Okay, it had only been a few days, but it was enough to drive me to insanity. It wasn’t a cruel fate, resigning myself to being with him, but it felt dirty. I was scared Shane was lurking around the woods watching me, seeing me snuggle into Aleks, even though it was him I loved.
“I need answers, Aleks.”
He hugged me, burrowing his face into my neck.
He smelled me, ignoring my statement. “I feel so much better when you’re with me.”
I couldn’t help but agree, but I felt worried touching his skin. I kept my hands to cloth and tried not to think about what had happened with Shane.
“Dorian told me something about your dad; he said he had something to do with my mom's death.”
His voice sounded hollow. “He did?”
“Yeah, I know you're sick right now, but I need you to tell me what that means.”
He smiled. “I’m fine, Aimee. You can’t hurt me unless you leave me again.”
I smiled and cuddled into him, at least someone wanted to be with me.
He shook his head. “No more running away.” His voice still sounded hollow.
I slapped his chest. “The time where you get to dick me around and not share any secrets with me has past. I need and deserve at least, the truth.”
He nodded, exhaling harshly. “I know that, but I don’t know how to tell you. This is serious. You know how you always say 'garden-variety this' and 'garden-variety that?' My curse was not one of those garden-variety ones; my dad angered a man whose powers still are unmatched to this day. No matter what I say, please try to remember that I love you,” he whispered into my ear.
I nodded and waited for some serious answers to be laid out on the table.
He looked like he was trying to gather strength before he started to speak. I didn’t know what to say. I sat there in silence, waiting.
Finally he spoke. “My dad is immortal too. When I was young, he did something horrible. He raped and murdered a woman. I found him drunk with a woman dead beside him. I cleaned up the mess for him and hid the body. I thought it wasn’t his fault. I thought he had been so drunk that it must have been an accident.”
A small tear left his eye, making its slow trek across his face. “Many times that year, people came looking for the woman. She was the medicine man's daughter. He was devastated that she had run away like that. They had apparently fought over whom she would marry. He used his magic, eventually, to try to find her. I don’t know exactly how it works, but somehow the magic told him what had really happened. He showed up at my house when I was twelve—he was angry. He cursed my dad, in hopes that my dad would murder our entire family. He cursed me with a type of immortality where I would forever feel responsible for my dad's actions. The curse would set in upon death.” His voice wavered but he cleared his throat.
“He cursed me so that I would be forced to clean up after my dad every time. I would be forced to help the victims left behind, and from their suffering, I would get my sustenance. I would heal them over time, from the shadows. I have not seen my dad for over six hundred years.” He stopped speaking as if unable, but I knew that was it. He was done speaking, even though an incomplete feeling hung in the air between us.
I allowed the knowledge to fill my brain and the feeling of heartbreak and anger to overwhelm me.
“Your dad murdered my mom.” It was a statement.
“I am so sorry, Aimee.”
“You came here to clean up the mess.” Again a statement.
He nodded remorsefully.
“What went wrong? How did we end up here?”
He smiled. “You. I fell for you the moment I saw you. I spent too much time with you. I loved you. I couldn’t focus on what I was doing. You sat on the side of the road telling me everything, and you were so perfect. You missed your mom the way I missed my family. You were right. This is all my fault.”
I flinched at the thought of it. I wanted to comfort him, but I was not completely finished with the emotions I had brewing inside of me. I wanted answers more than anything at that moment. “What does it mean now that your curse is gone?”
He grimaced. “My dad’s victims will suffer incredibly. No one will help them.” He looked sickened by it. “I won't ever feel joy or peace again. I am now just a lost soul. I will forever be stuck in the in-between.”
“You still have all of your abilities?”
He looked at me incredulously.
I knew he was wondering how I was being so technical about it, but I had shut off my emotions for a moment to process what was going on. I was unable to feel sorry for him while I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself.
“Do you feel nothing being here with me now?”
He smiled looking at me through his eyelashes, making my nerves quiver and my breath suck in. “You seem to be the exception to the rule. I love you and can feel love for you.”
He leaned in to kiss me, which I wanted, but I shook my head. “Your dad raped and killed my mom. I can’t do this right now. I need some more answers from you.”
He looked dejectedly at me. “Aimee, I couldn’t tell you the truth. You understand what I’m saying, don’t you?”
I shook my head. “If you had been honest with me from the start when you realized I could see you, none of this would have happened.”
"You were already sick and my dad had already killed your mom."
I felt sick. "I wish he hadn't. I wish we had never met."
He nodded. “I know you do. I won't bother you. If that's your wish.” He leaned in and kissed me and like a puff of smoke was gone.
I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t wanted him to go, had I? He hadn’t waited around for me to answer him.
I didn’t want to be alone again. I pulled my legs up and waited to die. I hadn’t eaten. I hadn’t drunk. I hoped at some point I would die and it would end.
I was sad about my mom, but I knew Aleks would be hurting more than I was.
His own dad killed the mom of the woman he loved—was I a woman yet?
I shrugged, assuming if you had to ask, you were still a girl.
I curled into a ball and fell asleep again until I heard the bushes rustle behind me, waking me up. I wondered if it was his dad coming for his turn with me. I didn’t turn around. I didn’t care.
Aleks whispered, “I am so sorry.”
He sat beside me, pulling me into him. He slipped his huge black fleece off and pulled it over my head. I didn’t realize I was cold until the warmth from his jacket seeped into my skin.
I shivered, closing my eyes. I had gotten to the place of insanity. I wasn’t certain any of it was real anymore. I was thinking either side effect of the drug, or that I was dead, or it was the long-assumed brain tumor.
“Where are we going to go?” I asked, knowing that I couldn’t go back to my place. I couldn’t stay one more day at the beach without murdering an entire village out of boredom.
He frowned. “You can’t go anywhere until you change.”
I laughed bitterly. “I’m not changing, Aleks. It isn’t happening. I’m still me, just a bit different. I’m the same as I was when I was at Blake’s a week ago. Too bad Blake’s didn’t work out. I could use a shower.”
He nodded laughing. “Your body had to be healed by Dorian’s blood before it can start to transform. You were on your deathbed. Dorian saved you, as much as that disgusts me. Now that you’re all healed up inside, the change should start to take place.”
I frowned at him. “Why do you hate him, beyond the obvious winning personality traits I experienced?”
He shook his head. “I don’t hate him. I just don’t like dark angels. Everything they touch somehow turns to shit. Anyway, I want to get you somewhere warm for the night.”
I smirked at him. “Okay. I smell.”
He laughed. It was still weak but he seemed to be a little perkier.
I was pretty sure I was thinking of the same thing as he was, a hotel room. That could get awkward.
Thinking about what had happened the other day with Shane, I changed my mind. “Uhh, we should probably stay out here. We can make a fire again.”
Aleks looked at me doubtfully. “What’s wrong?”
I bit my lower lip and sighed, feeling ashamed of myself. “I saw Shane the other day. He came here and was so angry with me. Blake had told him everything that’s happened so far.”
“Blake knows everything? Everything, including me?” He didn’t sound impressed.
I knew my eyes answered for me when disappointment filled his face.
He raised his eyebrows at me. “I told you those things in confidence.”
I shook my head. “Aleks, you kept leaving me, and I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I just needed someone on my team.”
He gripped my shoulders harshly. “I am always on your team. I just know what kind of danger I bring with me everywhere I go.”
“Shane was very angry about what happened between us. He was cruel, and I deserved every second of it. I dated you both at the same time. I’m disgusting.”