I bridged the gap between us and admired the mixture of sorrow and fascination on her face as the lanterns rose up into the starlit sky. Noticing my eyes on her, she looked at me and gave me a sorrowful smile. Her delicate fingers gently brushed against my arm before her hand found mine. She squeezed tight – her way of saying she was right there for me.
Indifferent to what anyone around us would say, I placed my arm over her shoulder and pressed my lips against her temple. I then whispered into her ear, “I can’t begin to explain to you how much it means to me that you’re here.”
She gently caressed the hand I had above her shoulder before her eyes focused on the lanterns rising up to dot the night sky. “I’m sorry you lost Vivienne, Derek.”
Lost Vivienne. The words were painful. The thought of being alone that night seemed more than I could bear. “Stay with me tonight, Sofia.”
With Lucas no longer a threat, she’d been staying in one of the spare bedrooms in my apartment since she arrived. Paige and Rosa had already moved back into my penthouse to accompany her. They’d been asking me about what was to happen to Ashley, but I couldn’t even bring myself to think of the girl.
“Derek…” Her face paled at what she knew I was suggesting – that she stay in my bedroom like she used to.
The hesitation she had over my request was understandable. The girls were giving her a hard time over her loyalty to me, but I wanted to be around her. I craved her warmth. She was healing balm to the wound Vivienne’s disappearance left behind.
“Sofia, please…” I could’ve just demanded it of her. I was still prince of The Shade and in the eyes of everyone else, she was still my slave, but her approval of me mattered – perhaps more than it should. Nothing else pleased me more than the idea of her being with me out of her own choice.
She turned her gaze from the night sky to me before exhaling. She nodded. “Okay.”
The memorial dragged on… Pleasant words were given in memory of Vivienne. When I was asked to speak, I refused. I didn’t want to even think about the loss I was suffering, much less talk about it. I was relieved when it was all over. I left with Sofia as soon as I could. I didn’t want to stick around for condolences.
That night, I found that the only source of solace I had was Sofia. Her kisses, her whispers of comfort, her smile, her arms around me and the warmth she exuded… For the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to become vulnerable in front of someone else. Holding Sofia in my arms, I broke down, and she didn’t say anything to console me. She didn’t have to and somehow she knew it. She just held me close.
When sleep finally stole her attention away from me, I stared into her peaceful, sleeping form and allowed myself to entertain a thought of Vivienne – just enough so I could thank my dear sister for paying the ultimate price in order to give me Sofia.
CHAPTER 41: SOFIA
I woke up to find him staring at me. Waking up next to him felt right in a way it never did waking up next to Ben. I eased myself into his arms. I’d found his chest comfortable enough to be my pillow during the night. I smiled. It was the first time I could remember that a nightmare didn’t wake me up in the middle of the night.
“I’m sorry you had to see me that way…” I never thought I’d see him look so embarrassed.
It took a moment for it to register what he was apologizing for. I shook my head and snuggled closer to him. “Don’t be, Derek. You never have to pretend around me.”
I could swear I felt his heart quicken a beat. His arms around me tightened. We lay there comfortably for a few more minutes before we fell into routine. I noted the ease we had about us as we both got dressed. I’d forgotten how natural it came to us – being around each other. We just knew how to move, how to act, when to stay out of each other’s private spaces and when to move in.
Something, however, changed in our routine. After we got dressed, I often went to the kitchen to prepare my breakfast. Often, a glass of blood would already be waiting for him on the dining table. That much didn’t change. What changed, however, was the fact that he actually started talking to me – and not just about mundane things that didn’t really matter, but about how he was going to spend the day, what his plans were for The Shade… things that I never was privy to when I was still his “personal slave”.
“I’ll be at the training grounds today,” he informed me. “The training must go on for the vampires of The Shade.”
“Corrine told me about the draft…” The topic left a bitter taste in my mouth. “She said you wanted all vampires to be battle-ready. Why?”
“We’ve grown weak. Should the hunters attack us, we won’t stand a chance. I can only imagine the technological advancements they’ve developed over the years. They’re leaps and bounds ahead of the way they were four hundred years ago.”
“Maybe so, but how on earth will the hunters even find the island, Derek?”
“It’s just a matter of time, Sofia. Our defenses grow weaker by the minute… I’m surprised we were able to keep the secret this long.”
I quietly stared at the piece of toast I just dabbed with jam and butter before finally admitting something that’d been bugging me. “Ben joined the hunters, Derek. He wanted me to go with him, but I didn’t.”
Derek stiffened at the mention of Ben. He took a drink from his glass of blood before slowly raising his eyes to meet mine. “Why didn’t you?”
Because of you. I shrugged. “It didn’t feel right.”
It seemed he wanted to ask another question, but thought better of it. Instead, he nodded. “I have to go soon… What will you be doing?”
“I want to visit Ashley at the Cells. I’m thinking of visiting the Catacombs too.”
Blue eyes widened in surprise. “The Catacombs?”
“Is that going to be a problem?”
He paused and gave it some thought. “No. I’ll find you there later. I’ll make sure a guard accompanies you.”
“When is this trial with Ashley going to happen, Derek? You can’t keep putting this off…”
His face grew grim. “She’s a hunter, Sofia.”
“What?” I frowned. “How would you…”
“The tattoo on her back. The hawk. It’s the mark of a hunter.”
“But…”
“Look. I’ll strike you a deal. If you can get her to cooperate and give us all the information she knows about the hunters, then I’ll release her.”
“That’s not fair, Derek. She was defending me after you…”
“Don’t go there, Sofia.” His tone was stern, making it clear to me that I was about to cross a line I had no business crossing. “I know what I did, and I regret it deeply, but I am prince of The Shade. She was going to kill me. She almost killed you. My offer to release her is more generous than you give me credit for.”
I was taken aback. It was the first time I could remember him pulling rank on me. My familiarity with him often made me forget who he was. Whenever anyone at The Shade treated him with deference, I found it downright weird. The idea of calling him ‘your highness’ or even ‘prince’ seemed ridiculous to me, but sitting there, it hit me full force: the vampires recognized Derek as their prince and he was no pushover.
Words Ben spoke to me while we were still here at The Shade haunted me. Don’t be a fool, Sofia. We need to get out of here before he decides that he’s tired of you and kills us both.
My insecurities began to resurface. Who do I think I am?
The thought of Derek one day realizing that he didn’t need me gnawed at me even as I made my way to the Cells. The deal I struck with Derek weighed heavily on me.
I stepped into Ashley’s cell to find her sitting over the edge of her cot, looking absolutely distraught. She raised her eyes to me, probably expecting Paige, Rosa or one of the guards. Her face fell when she saw me.
“Oh. It’s you.”
My stomach turned. Since my arrival, the girls had been giving me a cold shoulder. Even Sam and Kyle were, at best, being polite to me. I couldn’t blame them really. We were friends and I left them at The Shade without even saying goodbye to them. To top that, I didn’t do a thing to help them out while I was outside The Shade. We’d planned an escape together so many times, with promises that once one of us actually got out, we would expose The Shade to the world in order to rescue the others. I didn’t do that. Even above all of that, upon my return, I walked in on Derek with a barely conscious Ashley on his bed and still, I managed to forgive him. That last part, I believe, was what they saw as the ultimate betrayal.
They definitely had good reason to hate me. That explained the heavy feeling I had upon approaching Ashley. The last time I visited her, she wasn’t very accommodating of me – especially when she found out that I was once again staying with Derek.
“How can you stand being around him?” she asked me.
I didn’t know how to answer. I couldn’t fully understand the hold Derek had on me myself, but it felt like a pathetic thing to say when I replied, “I see him differently, Ashley. There’s hope for him yet. I don’t want to give up on him.”
After that, Ashley asked me to leave.
Truth be told, I wasn’t happy about the setup of me still being seen around The Shade as Derek’s slave. I didn’t return to The Shade to become a slave, but Derek made it clear to me that it was the only way. After Derek went through painstaking lengths to keep my escape a secret from everyone other than a few select people, most of the vampires didn’t even know that I had been gone from The Shade.
“The only way I can protect you, Sofia, is to keep you under my wing. They won’t touch you if they know you’re mine. On your own, all you are is fresh bait,” he told me, and as much as I was protesting against it, I knew that in the culture of The Shade, the only way I could be safe was under his care.