That’ll change soon enough when she realizes that you aren’t really a good guy. That you weren’t seeking her out just to punish her. You wanted to ruin her the way she ruined you.
Even my own conscience isn’t on my side this morning since the plan that seemed completely logical a month ago seems pretty twisted right now. I stay just like that, breathing in until I feel a warm wave pass through me. The pills are working.
"Finn?"
The voice comes from my room. I walk out of the bathroom to see Rissa standing in the doorway. She's pulled her T-shirt back on but it's not really meant to be worn alone so a shocking amount of leg is exposed. Her arms are around her middle and she looks so lost standing there.
"You can't sleep?"
She shakes her head. "What about you?"
I point down to my leg. "Just the usual. My leg was bothering me so I had to take some medicine."
She takes a step forward and then halts, like she's just realized that she's in my room. Her eyes meet mine and I know she's remembering what happened the last time she came in here. But that seems like a lifetime ago and I don't want her to have even a moment of hesitation around me. She should never worry or fear when she's in my presence. I want her to always know that. I love her too much to ever cause her to look the way she did tonight.
It should scare the shit out of me, this knowledge that I love her still. But I think I've always known it was true. I just couldn't deal with it before.
"I won't do anything to you, angel. You can come in."
She steps closer and the light from the open window illuminates things just enough that I can see the raw desire on her face. "What if I want you to? Would you do something then?"
"Don't tease me. I don't have much self-control when it comes to you and the little bit I have has been used up trying to keep my hands off you these past few days."
"Stop trying," she whispers. Then her hands are in my hair and her mouth is on mine.
My mind goes blank and all I can do is feel. The pain in my leg fades from my awareness as I'm suddenly completely occupied with the soft, warm curves pressing against my chest.
"Hold on to me."
She wraps her arms around my neck obediently and I march her backward toward the bed. The entire time her mouth is on my neck, my ear and then she's tugging at my T-shirt. Urgency pushes us on, as if we have to do it all, touch it all before our time runs out.
We fall on the bed and I roll so she's on top. It takes the pressure off my leg so I can focus on the most important thing which is pleasuring her. I push her T-shirt up but she surprises me when she reaches down and drags it over her head. She must have taken her bra off sometime during the night because she's completely nude underneath.
Holy hell, I had no idea she didn't have panties on under the short shirt either. My dick jumps to attention beneath her. She looks down in surprise. "I guess you liked that, huh?"
"I like you. Everything about you."
"But I'm willing to bet you're pretty partial to these." She cups her full breasts and lifts them to me like an offering. My mouth instantly goes dry. She's always known that I lose all reason when it comes to her breasts. Just a peek at her cleavage was enough to give me an instant hard-on as a teenager. The man doesn't have any chance at resisting them either because Rissa has filled out even more since then. Her curves overflow her small hands and when she leans over me, her breasts dangle like ripe fruit.
"You're drooling, Finn."
"Come here." I plant both of my hands on her ass and drag her up my chest. She squeals but grabs on to the headboard as I position her over my face. Then she sighs when I lick the soft lips of her sex, fluttering my tongue over her little clit. Her soft moans spur me on until I have my tongue buried inside her and she's riding my face.
"Finn!"
I can tell by her soft cries and the way she's gyrating over my lips that she's close. But it's not enough for her to be close, she needs to be frantic. She needs to be lost in what I make her feel. This was the one thing that was always right between us. The connection I feel to her when I make love to her is so potent, it's always seemed fated.
I clasp her bottom firmly with one hand and then use the other to thumb her nipple. Her breasts are so sensitive, they always have been. She tenses and then cries out, her pussy tightening around my tongue. Nothing has ever made me feel more like a man than the privilege of being the one who puts this look on her face.
She rolls to the side, taking big gasping breaths. When she opens her eyes finally, her lashes are wet from her tears.
"I love doing that. I love seeing you come apart."
Her eyes lower to where my erection tents my boxers. Suddenly she looks up at me with a naughty look in her eye. Then she crawls down the bed until she's hovering right over it. She's so close I can feel the warm heat of her breath on the fabric. My hands clench into fists to keep from thrusting up toward her mouth.
"I want to do that to you. I want to taste you."
She hadn't been too fond of this when we were younger. A part of me wonders if she learned to like it with Andrew but I immediately shut that part of my brain down. We both have pasts. It's just the way it is. But I won't let anything intrude on our private time together.
"Lift up." She raises an eyebrow until I lift my hips, allowing her to pull the boxers down. Then she settles herself between my legs, her big blue eyes locked on the erection stretching up my stomach. She leans forward and licks the underside and my hips lift again, the pleasure so intense that I can't help thrusting into it.