"You. What are you doing here?" I meant to say it forcefully but it comes out in such a breathy way that if I didn't know better would make me think I'm happy to see him. Which is crazy since he clearly is a stalker of some kind.
"Getting some air. I love this view."
"Of all the rooftops in all the world, huh?" I consider whether I should just turn around and go back inside. Seeing him turn up like this is seriously creeping me out.
He chuckles. "Your expression gives away everything you're thinking. I'm not some weirdo. I come up here every time I visit my brother. I'd say it's more likely that you are stalking me."
"I'm here because my friend lives in the building and recommended it. And I was here first."
He holds up his hands and backs away slightly. "Friend? Boyfriend?"
"Maybe." I'm sure he can tell I'm lying but there's no way I'm admitting to him that I'm alone.
"Lucky bastard," he mutters.
I come back to my previous spot at the wall and look back out over the city. Night comes so quickly now and the temperature has dropped enough that I can see my breath. Inhaling, I take in the cool, fresh air.
"Okay, I'll bite. Why the sigh?"
"What?"
He gives an exaggerated sigh and then bats his eyelashes. I realize that he's imitating me.
"I did not do that."
"Yes you did. Quite dramatically I might add. What could a girl like you possibly have to be sad about?"
A little tingle of pleasure at his words is drowned out by the dismissive way he looks at me. I'm so tired of people thinking they know what I'm about. What I need.
"I'm not sad. I'm just thinking. Okay maybe I'm a little sad but only because some of the things I've been thinking about make me feel like a jerk."
"Like what?"
"I don't know why you're even asking. Clearly you don't care and we don't even know each other. We are not friends. I don't even know your name."
"Damn that's harsh. I really thought we had something. The way you looked at me yesterday. Then when you came to my house last night wearing that little black dress. I really felt a connection."
My startled laugh echoes a little. "Since that never happened I'm going to assume you've been hallucinating."
He grins and looks so unrepentant that I can't help but smile back. He really is very handsome. That little spark of recognition that I felt that first day flares again even stronger this time. I can't figure out why I feel like I know him. If we'd gone to school together, I would remember. This is not the kind of guy you could forget.
"That last part didn't actually happen? Well, you can't blame a guy for his fantasies. And my name is Gabe." He holds out his hand.
"Nice to meet you, Gabe." It feels rude to ignore him so I take his hand and shake it.
"Okay now that we're friends, why would you feel like a jerk? You can tell me. I'm just some random guy on a rooftop. You can be honest."
I huff out a breath and scratch at a groove in the brick wall. "My friends are all coupled up and so happy. It's wonderful, really. Just not the easiest thing to witness when you're always alone."
He doesn't turn, just keeps looking over the city. The sounds of the traffic below merge with the whisper of the wind and the soft sounds of our breathing.
"It's a strange and terrible thing to be alone while surrounded by people who love you."
His softly spoken words touch something deep inside of me. I can tell that he's not just spouting platitudes or trying to make me feel better. He understands loneliness.
"Yes, it is."
We stand in companionable silence for a few more minutes before I'm aware that he's turned slightly and is now watching me.
"I can feel you staring."
When I look over at him, he's smiling. "Men look at beautiful women. Is it really so shocking?"
"I'm not going to date you. Whatever this is, it's not going to work out. Any time I'm attracted to a guy, there's a one hundred percent chance that he’s a jerk. So, I'm taking a break for a while."
"So you admit that you feel it, too? Besides, I thought you had a boyfriend?" The smug grin on his face grows even wider.
Caught, I ignore the question. But just standing this close to him has already caused a number of reactions that I'm sure he's aware of. My pulse has been racing the entire time and I'm grateful I'm wearing this big coat. I have to resist the urge to cross my arms over my suddenly sensitive breasts.
"It's okay. I'm not dating either."
I send him a dark look at that statement. I'm not sure if he's making fun of me or not but there's no way a guy who looks like him isn't out there racking up as many notches in his bedpost as possible.
"I'm serious. Finding the right person is damn near impossible and being with the wrong person, well, that's worse than being alone. Have you ever wondered if the person you're supposed to be with is right under your nose but you turned left instead of right one day and missed them?"
His question surprises me. It's way more contemplative than I would have expected from him. It reminds me that I can't assume I know anything about his life either.
"That sounds like the kind of thing that would happen to me."
At his curious stare, I find myself explaining. "Things have a tendency to go left when I want them to go right. Sometimes it feels like the more I want something, the less likely it is to happen." I start to say more but stop myself. Why am I telling him all of this?