“I swear, Kitkat, I’m going to—”
“Take a walk,” Logan suddenly thundered.
“You’ll regret it man, leave it alone.” Kite guided him down the porch steps, and I saw Ream plow his fist into the pillar at the bottom of the steps.
“What’s with them?” I whispered to Logan.
“I don’t know. But whatever it is, they need to work it out before they kill one another.”
Watching Ream walk across the yard with Kite, I knew whatever made Ream and Kat lash out at one another was big. I tried to recall Kat acting weird back when I’d come back from Mexico but I had been so self-absorbed after what happened that I may have missed it.
“So, barbecue. Steaks or burgers?” Crisis had let Kat go, but his hand was still in her back pocket. Kat was zoned out, eyes focused on one thing—Ream.
“You good with steaks?” Logan asked me.
“Well, I’m not really hungry—”
“You’re eating, and then you’re in my bed,” Logan said quietly.
My breath hitched. “Logan, I—”
He was keeping his voice low, so others wouldn’t hear. “Eme, we’ve slept together before.”
It was like a medicine ball was lodged in my throat. I tried again. “That was different.”
“Did you want to sleep with me?”
“What?”
“Answer me, Eme.”
“That isn’t fair.”
“I’m asking for the truth. Did you?”
“Well, I didn’t really have—”
“Eme.”
God. “Yes. But Logan, I need some time to digest this. It’s too fast, and—”
He pulled me to my feet and dragged me into the house, down a hallway then opened the door to the office. He slammed it behind us. “You had time.”
I backed away until I was up against a desk, my hands gripping the edge.
“But mainly, you’re lying.” He approached.
I knew that look; it was unbending. Determined. And I wasn’t afraid. Not for one second.
I took several deep breaths.
“I see it.” His voice was graveled and low.
What did he see? I raised my chin and locked my jaw.
“You want me.” He kept his distance a few feet away. “Stop denying it. I know who you are. I know what you need and what your body needs. There wasn’t a single time you weren’t turned on when we were together. Not once.”
“You’re wrong. Public sex wasn’t my thing.”
He took the final steps toward me. I couldn’t control it. Unleashed need blanketed me. He must have seen it, saw me wavering on the edge, the hook that was holding me back from trusting him slowly ripping from my skin.
“Let me love you.”
And then I did what I wanted to do since the day he walked back into my life. I crumpled into his arms, and Logan wrapped me in his warm protective embrace. “I loved you, Logan. You didn’t care what they did to me, and it was devastating. I know now why and that you had to, but sometimes ... I never want to feel that helpless again.”
Logan caressed my hair while his other hand linked with mine and gave a reassuring squeeze. “Whatever happens between us now, it’s because we both want it. No one—no one will ever make you feel helpless again. Baby, I love you. I never stopped, and regardless of how destitute you felt, you weren’t alone. You’ll never be helpless. You’re too strong.” His fingers stroked the side of my face. “You know what the first thing my mother taught me in that place? To take emotion out of the equation. That’s what always made me a good fighter. I never lost control.” He sighed. “I’ve hide my emotions for a long time. I’m good at it.”
“When I came back here for you, I needed you to see who I am, and yeah, I’ve lost it a few times like with your dance partner at the bar. But Mouse, I’m letting you see all of me so you can learn to trust me again. I need you to trust me again.”
I knew that whatever Logan said or did it was always about protecting me. He pushed his authority and liked control, but I trusted him. Sexually, I craved that escape he gave me. It set me free from decisions and as Logan would say, “Lego building”.
I sniffled and few tears fell. “I’m sorry. For what you and your mother have been through.”
He kissed the tears. “Baby.”
I knew that whatever Logan said or did it was to protect me.
Nothing more was said as he held me close. It felt right in his arms. He had done everything for me. That emotionless cage he locked himself in to hide his feelings from his father was to save me. He’d suffered too. We both did. And maybe my body had known all along that the Logan I hated was also the Logan I loved. Maybe my body knew that the man I feared wasn’t the real Logan.
“You good, Eme?”
I nodded into his chest, the feel of his muscles sliding across my cheek.
“You’re sleeping with me from now on.”
My fingers curled into his shirt. Then I nodded.
“You need something from me, tell me. We fight this shit together.”
A knock sounded on the door and Crisis yelled, “Hey you guys done makin’ out? Fuckin’ starving here.”
“Emily?”
“Okay.” It was a whisper of one word, and with it every Lego previously built up in my head crumbled to the ground at Logan’s feet.
I was letting him back in.
He caressed the side of my face, and I leaned into it, sighing. “Make a salad with Kat. We’ll do the steaks and potatoes on the barbecue. Okay?”
I nodded.
He took my hand and walked us out of the office.
When the boys yelled that the steaks were ready, Kat and I brought the salad and wine outside to the table on the deck which overlooked the pool. There was never lack of conversation as the men shared stories of the bars they’d performed in and then the excitement over acquiring their new manager Daryl.
“How long are you guys staying?” I asked, uncertain what Logan’s plans were.
“Not sure yet, sugar,” Crisis replied. “But I’m liking staying here if it means I get to check out two hot chicks every morning.” Crisis winked at me, but when he looked at Logan, he was backtracking. “From a distance. Like a mile. Maybe ten miles. Fuck, sorry sweet stuff, but not going to admire you at all. I’ll just admire Kat.”
Kite chuckled. “You can admire all the babes you want at the party.”
“Fuck yeah. Sweet asses aplenty.” Crisis wiggled his brows. “This horse needs some jumping.”
“You’re a pig,” Kat said laughing.
Crisis leaned over and put his arm around her, pulling her close. “How high can you jump, sugar?”
“She doesn’t jump. Kitkat plows right through.” Ream shoved back his chair, picked up his plate, and went inside. There was a loud bang and then crash. Then the front door slammed.
“Shit, Kat. You ever goin’ tell us what the fuck went down between you two?” Kite sat back and stretched out his legs, crossing his ankles.
“No.” She pushed back her chair and crossed her legs. “And it doesn’t matter, I’m never touching that again.”
Crisis coughed bullshit under his breath, and Kat smacked his arm. He rubbed it and feigned a pout.
Logan stood up and brought me with him. He leaned over and whispered. “Help me with the dishes?”
“Yeah, sure.” I may have been missing from Logan’s life for two years, but I knew exactly what he was doing. Time alone.
Three trips with dishes to the kitchen, and then I was rinsing off the plates in the sink when Logan came up behind me and swept my hair aside with the lightest touch of his finger.
“Eme. Why are you doing that? We have a dishwasher.” He shut off the tap, took my hands and pulled me around to face him. Then he grabbed me by the hips and lifted me up onto the counter.
“Logan.”
He put his arm around my waist, the other to the nape of my neck. “Fuck, I love it when you say my name. I need to taste you again, baby.” He pulled me toward him. The heat of his mouth hit the spot just below my ear and goose bumps sparked across my skin. He trickled light kisses downward, his tongue playing, tasting.
“I like how you shake in my arms. It’s like your body can’t wait to be with mine.” His arm around my waist tightened. “It’s known. All this time, it’s known you belong to me.”
I closed my eyes, my head tilting back. Oh God. What he did to me ...
“Eme.”
I don’t know why, and I swear I wasn’t alone in this, but when a guy tucks your hair behind your ear, it’s ... well it’s the most erotic, attractive and panty melting move, and Logan did it all the time, so I melted—big time. Liquid heat was running through me, and I let it in.
I met his eyes and explosive desire hit me—hard. Logan’s head was tilted, eyes were burning with craving; his lips were slightly parted. Melted wasn’t good enough; I was boiling over.
He whispered my name again then claimed my lips; I was his. Not that I’d ever been anyone else’s. No, I’ve always been his.
His pressed into me, hard and warm, unrelenting as his mouth took mine in a slow need, an exploration of what we both craved. My arms wrapped around his neck, fingers curling into his hair, gripping, holding, never letting go as I pulled and tilted his head so I could get deeper.
His groan vibrated in my mouth, and my body shivered.
His hands gripped my ass. “Legs, Eme.”
I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked my ankles. I never wanted to let go. Of him. Of Logan.
He trailed kisses down my neck, and I tilted my head back, eyes closed, sighing as his tongue flicked across my heated skin. The wetness between my thighs soaked my panties, and that intense twinge heightened.
“Logan,” I murmured.
He groaned against my throat, hand coming up between us to circle my nipple then lightly pinch.
I gasped.
“Christ, I missed you.” He continued to circle my nipple, then squeezed. “We’re not wasting any more time.” His other hand kept me in place holding the back of my head as he met my eyes.
I flexed my thighs, and I knew he felt it by how his hand tightened on the strands of my hair. I pictured him above me, my thighs around him as he slide inside me, the fullness, him driving into me hard then slow. Then I imagined Logan looking down at me before he comes, before I let go to join him.
“Fuckin’ hell, Sculpt.” Kite sauntered into the kitchen and threw his beer into the empty case on the floor.
I tried to unhook my legs, but Logan wouldn’t let me as he grabbed my thigh. He leaned into me and whispered, “Stay. Don’t move until I tell you.”
Kite opened the fridge and grabbed another beer. “Better get out there. Ream’s back and looks like he’s pounded back more than a few of something burning.”
“Shit,” Logan said. “Crisis?”
“Riling it up.” Kite opened his beer, and a hiss sounded.
“Fuck.” Logan let my legs go, put his hands on my hips and helped me off the counter. “I have to deal with this, Mouse.”