“Ah, yes. The world seems to be full of those.” She sighed. “It’s no small wonder that Hera isn’t happy about your marriage. You know how she feels about Zeus’s illegitimate children. I don’t blame her in the slightest, and a very large part of me feels a great deal of shame for betraying her in such a way. But I can’t regret it, not when the result was you.”
She set her hand over mine, and while I didn’t pull away, I didn’t take hers, either. “You’re avoiding the question.”
Mother pursed her lips. “I don’t know what to tell you, my darling. Only that I arranged your marriage because Hades is a wonderful man, and I could think of no one who could possibly love you more.”
“So Zeus had nothing to do with it?” I said. She hesitated.
“Zeus was the one to suggest him, certainly, but—”
“Is Hera in love with Hades?”
She blinked. “What makes you say that?”
“Is she?”
Mother rubbed her cheek, causing the streak of dirt to spread. “We all love Hades very much. Perhaps it is because he is the best of us all, or perhaps distance has something to do with it. We know each other so intimately in Olympus, but Hades is removed from us, and it is easy to forget his flaws. As far as I know, however, while Hera loves Hades as a brother, she has no interest in him as a lover. She is faithful to Zeus, as much as that pains her.”
That was sort of an answer, at least. A half answer, but an answer nonetheless. “So Zeus didn’t suggest I marry Hades simply because he wanted to make sure Hera was kept on a tight leash?”
Mother laughed, but there was something oddly humorless about it. “Oh, sweetheart. Hera does only what she wants. If she wanted Hades as a lover, she would have him, but she is far too devoted to her duties to ever betray the council that way. Zeus and I discussed all of our options, and in the end, we thought Hades would be the best match for you.”
“And Hades? What did he think?”
“He was intrigued,” she said. “He needed help with his duties, with the way the world is expanding, and he agreed so long as you were willing.”
Willing. Funny how my definition seemed so different from my parents’. At least now I knew that if Hades had been aware of my hesitations, he would’ve never gone through with our marriage. That was a small comfort. “Did it never occur to you that I might want to decide on my own?”
“Darling.” She squeezed my hand. I didn’t squeeze back. “Yes, it occurred to me. Many, many times. But I was so certain you would love Hades as much as we all do, and he was in desperate need of help. I can’t tell you how deeply sorry I am that your marriage has caused both of you so much pain, but I haven’t given up hope yet. None of us have. And perhaps this time away will do you both some good.”
I was silent. If that was the reason she’d agreed to this summer—because she saw it as a way to convince me a marriage with Hades wasn’t so bad after all—then I had nothing more to say. I would be his queen for eternity; if Hades couldn’t sever that tie, then there was nothing anyone could do. But this half year was mine to live as I wanted, not to pine over a husband I didn’t love or a realm I hated.
I loved Mother. I loved our family. But the more I opened my eyes to the world around me, the more I began to realize that she and I wanted very different things for my life. And I was no longer afraid to tell her no.
* * *
Hermes came to visit that night, long after the sun had set. Mother answered the knock on the door, but when she invited him in, the suspicion behind her smile made me nervous. It wasn’t the kind of smile she gave guests—it was the kind she gave Hera when they were forced to play nice. I intercepted them, looping my arm in Hermes’s. “Why don’t we go for a walk?” I said, and he nodded.
“That’s what I was going to suggest, actually.”
I forced a grin. “Perfect. We’ll be back soon, Mother.”
Without giving her a chance to protest, I led Hermes out of the cottage and through the garden. As soon as we ducked into the forest and out of Mother’s line of sight, I exhaled.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “She’s been on edge.”
“Don’t apologize.” Hermes stepped over a fallen tree and offered me a hand. I didn’t need his help, but I took it anyway. “She’s rooting for you and Hades to work out. Everyone is.”
“I’m not so sure it will,” I admitted.
“Maybe it will, maybe it won’t,” he said. “But right now you’re not going to think about him at all, because I have a surprise for you.”
I brightened. Hades brought me surprises practically every other day, but the thrill of anticipation ran through me anyway. It meant more somehow, coming from Hermes. “What kind of surprise?”
“That’s a secret,” he said with a grin. “It does come with a price, though—you have to trust me and close your eyes when I say so.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You expect me to let you lead me through an unfamiliar forest in the middle of the night?”
“And I expect you not to peek, either.”
I sighed dramatically. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him—I did, and a few falls wouldn’t exactly hurt either of us—but what little control I had lately was precious to me. And he must’ve known that. “Oh, fine,” I said. “Just don’t get us lost.”