“Then, you go buy them if you are so confident.”
I shook my head. “Fine. I’m gonna do my thing then.”
“What? What does that mean, Lex? You’re gonna do your thing?”
I smiled as I opened the truck door and jumped out. “Piece of cake.” I walked up to the entrance and pushed the door open.
Katy looked up and smiled. “Hey, Alex!”
I waved and said, “Hey, Katy!”
I started to make my way to where the condoms were displayed. I walked up and looked at them. “Holy crap,” I whispered. “Why are there so many? What the heck?”
“Why, hello there, Alex. Do you need some help this evening?”
I closed my eyes and silently prayed to God that I was not hearing Mr. Bell’s voice. I opened them and turned to see the pharmacist standing next to me.
“Um…Mr. Bell…well, I, um…” I turned to look back at the wall of condoms. I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but I couldn’t stop it once it came out of my mouth. “There are so many. What’s the purpose of each?”
Then, Mr. Bell kicked into his pharmacist talk. It was like he was talking to me about cold medicine, for Christ’s sake. I just stood there, frozen, unable to move as he pitched condoms to me.
Where is the closest rock?
“Now, most of these are about the same. It depends on what you and your partner are looking for.” He picked up a box labeled Magnum Ribbed. “These, for instance, have a spiral effect for extra stimulation.”
Dying. I’m slowly dying.
He set that box down and picked up the one next to it. “The Trojan Ecstasy is all about comfort. The shape gives you a more natural experience.”
I quickly looked around and saw Katy laughing her ass off behind the counter at the front of the store. My mouth dropped open, and she laughed even harder.
“The Trojan Bareskin is forty percent thinner. Again, it’s for a more natural experience.” He set that box down and picked up another one. “The Magnum Fire and Ice is probably more popular among the younger folks.”
What did I do in my life to deserve this? Really, what?
“The Fire and Ice has a dual action that provides a warm and tingling sensation to both partners.”
Oh. My. God. He didn’t just say that.
I quickly reached out and grabbed the Trojan Ecstasy condoms. “These are fine, Mr. Bell. They’re for Grace anyway. She’s a natural kind of girl.” The moment it came out of my mouth, I knew I would be in deep shit with Grace.
Mr. Bell smiled and nodded his head. “How are your parents?”
Awkward. I swallowed hard. “They’re doing great.” I looked down and whispered, “My father though…if he knew what I was doing, he might have a heart attack.”
When I glanced back up, Mr. Bell smiled and nodded his head. “Tell everyone I said hello. Be safe, Alex. That goes for, uh…Grace, too.”
I tried my best to smile. “Yes, sir.”
I watched as he walked through the door. The pharmacy was closed.
Why in the hell was he even here?
I closed my eyes and shook my head. I quickly turned and made my way up to Katy, who was still giggling. I put the condoms down, and when I looked out the window, Will was gone. His truck was there, but he was gone.
What in the hell?
I looked back at Katy, who shrugged her shoulders. She looked out the window and then quickly rang up the condoms. She then grabbed a few bags of chips, put them all in a bag, and threw in some flyers.
“Oh, Katy, I didn’t want the chips, and—”
“Alex?”
No. No, no, no, no!
I gave Katy a look of horror as I heard my father’s voice coming from behind me. I smiled and turned around. “Daddy! Oh, hey.”
He smiled and tilted his head. “Where’s Will?”
I looked back out the window, and Will was crawling over his seat and getting into the backseat.
“Um…”
“Didn’t you say he was still at the party, Alex?” Katy said.
I looked back at my father. I’d never lied to him before. “Grace was craving potato chips, so—”
“She borrowed Will’s truck. How are you, Mr. Mathews?”
My father glanced down at the bag in my hand. I was shocked my hand wasn’t shaking as I stood there and tried to seem normal.
He looked up at Katy. “I’m doing good, Katy. How are your parents?”
“They’re good. What can I help you with tonight?”
He looked back at me. “I’ve had a terrible headache the last two days. I need more Advil.”