I kept my smile to myself. I was a bit worried at first, but then I could see you were holding your own. Imogen says it was good for you, that you were holding in all sorts of emotions that needed to be released, and that only a good brawl could do that.
Imogen doesn’t know everything.
“Well, now that that’s done, perhaps you can go back to town for the night,” I said, giving each of the Vikings a good long look. “I have plans, and I’m sure you’ll understand if I say they don’t include you guys.”
“But . . . that is the Dark One!” Finnvid said, pointing at Ben. “The one who has betrayed you!”
“Appearances can sometimes be deceiving,” I said simply. “I’m fine. Thanks for the rescue attempt, but I don’t need it. I’m sure Ben will understand that you were just doing what you thought best.”
Isleif helped Eirik onto the couch. Both men were bleeding. Finnvid escaped being bloodied, but he did walk with a distinct limp as he moved over to his buddies, his eyes wary as he looked from Ben to Imogen to me.
“I will not apologize to the Dark One,” Eirik said when he could talk without wheezing. “The goddess Freya sent us to protect you, and we will do so until we are called back to Valhalla.”
“Yes, well, the goddess Freya probably doesn’t understand that we have a very complicated relationship, and Ben is my . . .” I paused and turned to him. “Is there some Dark One word for what you are to me? Boyfriend seems so lame.”
He took the tissue Imogen handed him and wiped the blood off his forehead. The cut was already closing. “Yes. Dark One.”
“No, I meant . . . oh, never mind.” I faced the Vikings again. “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t need protection from Ben, so there will be no more attacking him, all right?”
The looks the three of them gave me were not at all commensurate with a peaceful relationship.
I sighed, suddenly too tired to fight them anymore. “Oh, just go back to Brustwarze and have fun with your huge hordes of women. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Eirik’s gaze slid suspiciously from me to Ben. “You wish to get rid of us. You wish to rut with the Dark One.”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes to both. Shoo.”
“Come, my angel of the night,” Finnvid said, scooping up Imogen and marching out of the trailer with her. “I will reacquaint you with my many manly charms.”
Ben looked for a moment like he was going to go after them, but stopped himself in time.
You get bonus points for your restraint.
Good. I deserve them.
I turned to the two remaining Vikings.
“We wish to make plans with you,” Eirik said stubbornly, his arms across his chest. “We do not wish to be sent off because you want to bed-sport with the Dark One. We are not trivial. We are Vikings, sons of Odin, the fiercest of all his warriors!”
“You are very fierce, and I’m truly grateful you want to help. But we will continue to work out what to do tomorrow. All right? Good. Off you go.”
“I will leave you in the care of this one,” Eirik said, breathing somewhat noisily as I shoved both him and Isleif to the door. “But I warn you, Dark One, if any harm comes to the virgin goddess, I will cut out your heart and make you eat it.”
“Oh, for pity’s sake, chill! If anyone cuts out Ben’s heart and feeds it to him, it’ll be me.” Ben looked at me in surprise. I blinked. “And I would never do that, of course, because he would never do anything that would hurt me. Except maybe what he’s thinking now, and I am not at all turned on by the thought of spankings, so you can just drop that idea.”
Eirik considered me for a moment. “I’m told they can be very pleasurable for a woman. I, myself, like to position my hand so that when the blow lands on the arse cheeks, my fingers dip down between the woman’s—”
“Okay, I’m adding spanking to the list of things we don’t talk about,” I interrupted quickly, making shooing motions. “Sheesh! Vikings!”
He left, but not without giving Ben one last look.
Chapter 11
“Thank the god and goddess and all the little sprites,” I said, heaving a sigh of relief. “I really do like them, but sometimes they’re a bit much.”
You should have sent them to Valhalla, as I suggested.
I’m not sure that I would even if I could. I’m going to need help with Loki, and I have a feeling they will be important in that regard.
Nonsense. I will take care of Loki.
The second the words hit my brain, I felt Ben eye me warily. I slid him a glance out of the corner of my eye. You did not just say that.
He sighed. “Unfortunately, I did. Are you now going to lecture me again about how you can take care of yourself?”
I laughed. “No. Oh, don’t get me wrong—I haven’t changed into a wimpy woman who can’t deal with her own problems, but even if I had the Vikingahärta, I am going to need help with Loki. And since you already said you would help me take care of him, there’s nothing for me to be upset about, now, is there?”
“No, nothing at all,” he said with a wry twist of his lips. “You have changed, though. Not into a feeble woman, but the Fran of five years ago would have fought me for weeks before she allowed me to help. I prefer you this way.”
Oh, how I remembered the arguments we had in the past about Ben’s insistence that he take care of my troubles for me. “Something Imogen told me right before I left stuck with me. She asked me if I had really wanted you to change into something you weren’t. It took me a while to understand what she meant. You are who you are, and nothing I can do will change that. Not that I want you to be different. I never did,” I added with a little quickening of my breath and pinkening of my cheeks. “I like you the way you are. And despite the fact that I’m far from helpless, I’m aware that you feel the need to protect me, and I appreciate that, so long as you don’t go overboard.”
His eyes widened slightly. “Who are you, and what have you done with my Beloved?”
I laughed. “I abused you terribly, didn’t I?”
“I wouldn’t go so far as to say abused, but you didn’t seem to understand how I felt.”
“No, I don’t suppose I did,” I said thoughtfully, remembering how overpowering Ben’s protective instincts used to feel.
He grimaced and took my hand, stroking his fingers over mine. “That was my fault. You seemed so adult, I lost sight of the fact that emotionally you weren’t ready for what I wanted from you.”
“Ben . . .” I bit my lip, wanting badly to ask him something, but not sure how to phrase it without sounding like a total idiot.
“You can ask me anything you want.” He leaned forward to kiss me, just a little kiss, but one that held such heat, I felt a blush of arousal start at my chest and wash upward.
“What have you been doing for the past five years?” The words blurted out of my mouth just as if I was still a gauche seventeen-year-old, leaving me flinching at both the bluntness and the fact that Ben knew exactly what it was I was asking.
He was silent for as long as it took me to count to twenty. “I have existed.”
I put my hand on his chest, feeling again the blackness that dwelled within, a dense, unfathomable midnight that would have sent me screaming into madness had I borne it. But despite that, I knew there were tiny little pinpricks of light. I had felt one of them, the hope that I would return to him, that light now shining steadily in a corner of his soul. I smiled at it, smiled at him, and nipped his lower lip as I fed the hope until it shimmered like a star against the velvety black sky.
With a groan that started deep in his chest, his hands swept down my back, pulling my hips closer to him. “Fran, I will not be able to think if you do that again.”
“Thinking is overrated. I’ve done enough of that for the last five years. Let’s move past it, shall we?” I sucked in my breath when he pressed kisses to that sensitive spot behind my ear. With a moan, I slid my hands up his back, my fingers tracing out the swell of his muscles, my entire body tingling with anticipation.
“When I saw you again, it was as if the last five years had never been. I want you, Francesca. I want you in my life. I want you in my bed. I want to wake up knowing that no other man will touch you.”
“That is seriously possessive. I don’t know why it doesn’t irritate me. Maybe it’s because I know what you mean. It’s like time just kind of stopped, although things between us have changed. It’s as if now it’s something . . . bigger.”
He chuckled and pulled my hips against his. I assure you it has not changed.
Thank you for the obligatory smutty comment, you man, you. You know what I mean—our relationship feels bigger. More epic. Like . . . oh, I don’t know, somehow grandiose and frightening at the same time. What if it’s just our chemistry after all, Ben? What if everything we feel is out of our control?
“That is how life is. I think you are worrying unduly,” he murmured in between kisses pressed to my neck. “We have both changed during the last few years. Can you not accept that? I have.”
“I don’t want you to simply accept me,” I protested, pushing back from his chest. “I want us both to be more than just comfortable.”
His mouth was hot on my flesh as he bit gently on my earlobe before moving over to my breastbone, trailing what felt like fire. “I am extremely uncomfortable at this moment.”
I clutched his shoulders, my breath already ragged and uneven, those parts of me that had anticipated his touch for so long becoming very aware of him. My breasts almost hurt they were suddenly so sensitive, and when he whisked off my shirt, burying his face in my cleavage, I thought I might pass out with the sheer pleasure of it all.
A loud clang outside the trailer had us both recalling where we were. Without speaking, I peeked out of the blinds, relieved to see that it was just Karl, Kurt’s brother, moving past with a prop. “False alarm. Are you tired? How much sleep did you get in Naomi’s bed?”