“Look at that,” says the girl. “A five-thousand-dollar teapot. What would anyone want with that?”
“Don’t you like tea?” says her boyfriend with a grin.
“Sure! But I mean, if you had five thousand dollars, would you spend it on a teapot?”
“When I have five thousand dollars I’ll let you know,” says the boyfriend. They both laugh and walk off, hand in hand, light and happy with each other.
Suddenly, standing there in front of the cabinet, I feel ridiculous. Like a child playing with grown-up clothes. What do I want a $5,000 teapot for?
I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t know what I’m doing.
I want Luke.
It hits me like a tidal wave, overwhelming everything else. Brushing all the clutter and rubbish away.
That’s all I want. Luke normal and happy again.
The two of us normal and happy. I have a sudden vision of us on a deserted beach somewhere. Watching the sunset. No baggage, no fuss. Just the two of us, being together.
Somehow I’ve lost sight of what really matters in all this, haven’t I? I’ve been distracted by all the froth. The dress, and the cake, and the presents. When all that really counts is that Luke wants to be with me, and I want to be with him. Oh, I’ve been such a stupid fool…
My mobile phone suddenly bleeps, and I scrabble in my bag for it, filled with sudden hope.
“Luke?”
“Becky! What the hell’s going on?” Suze’s voice shrieks in my ear so fiercely, I nearly drop the phone in fright. “I just had a call from Michael Ellis! He says you’re still getting married in New York! Bex, I can’t believe you!”
“Don’t shout at me! I’m in Tiffany!”
“What the hell are you doing in Tiffany? You should be sorting this mess out! Bex, you’re not going to get married in America. You just can’t! It would kill your mum.”
“I know! I’m not going to! At least…” I push a hand distractedly through my hair. “Oh God, Suze. You just don’t know what’s been going on. Luke’s having a midlife crisis… the wedding planner’s threatened to sue me… I feel like I’m all on my own…”
To my horror I feel my eyes welling up with tears. I creep round the back of the cabinet and sink onto the carpeted floor, where no one can see me.
“I’ve ended up with two weddings and I can’t do either of them! Either way, people are going to be furious with me. Either way it’s going to be a disaster. It’s supposed to be the best day of my life, Suze, and it’s going to be the worst! The very worst!”
“Look, Bex, don’t get into a state,” she says, relenting slightly. “Have you really gone through all the options?”
“I’ve thought of everything. I’ve thought of committing bigamy, I’ve thought of hiring look-alikes…”
“That’s not a bad idea,” says Suze thoughtfully.
“You know what I really want to do?” My throat tightens with emotion. “Just run away from all of this and do it on a beach. Just the two of us and a minister and the seagulls. I mean, that’s what really counts, isn’t it? The fact that I love Luke and he loves me and we want to be together forever.” As I picture Luke kissing me against a Caribbean sunset, I feel tears welling up again. “Who cares about having a posh dress? Who cares about a grand reception and getting lots of presents? None of it is important! I’d just wear a really simple sarong, and we’d be in bare feet, and we’d walk along the sand, and it would be so romantic—”
“Bex!” I jump in fright at Suze’s tone. She sounds as angry as I’ve ever heard her. “Just stop it! Stop right there! God, you’re a selfish cow sometimes.”
“What do you mean?” I falter. “I just meant all the trappings weren’t important…”
“They are important! People have made a lot of effort over those trappings! You’ve got two weddings that most people would die to have. OK, you can’t do both. But you can do one. If you don’t do either of them, then… you don’t deserve them. You don’t deserve any of it. Bex, these weddings aren’t just about you! They’re about all the people involved. All the people who have made an effort and put time and love and money into creating something really special. You can’t just run away from that! You have to face this out, even if it means apologizing to four hundred people individually, on bended knee. If you just run away, then… then you’re selfish and cowardly.”
She stops, breathing hard, and I hear Ernie begin to wail plaintively in the background. I feel completely shocked, as though she’s slapped me in the face.