Unless it’s just the dusky light.
‘It is impossible for me to give anything to Luke.’ Her voice is entirely without self-pity. ‘He has cut me out of his life. He mistrusts me. Any gift I attempted to make would be met with short shrift. If you say yes to my offer, then you are giving me the opportunity to make Luke an unconditional gift. Perhaps even to make my own reparation.’ Elinor pauses. ‘The kind of gift … that his real mother would have made him.’
What? Did she just call Annabel his real mother?
I swallow, several times. This is all getting too heavy. I’m not sure I can cope. It was easier when Elinor was just the big bad witch that we never saw.
‘If you refuse my offer,’ she adds, as matter-of-fact as ever, ‘then you are denying me this privilege.’
‘Puzzle?’ Minnie is tugging hopefully at Elinor’s bag. ‘Puzzle?’
‘Here you are, Minnie.’ Elinor reaches into her bag, pulls out one of the puzzles that she had earlier in the Ritz, and presents it to Minnie. Then she looks directly at me. ‘Please.’
My mind is shooting back and forth helplessly like a pinball. I can’t … I mustn’t … I could …
Luke would never know …
No, I can’t …
But we wouldn’t have to cancel … Luke would get his party …
‘Perhaps you need time to think about it,’ says Elinor, and I look up, focusing on her as though for the first time. Standing there, holding her expensive bag with two gloved hands, her hair gusting a little in the wind, she looks pale and old and shadowy. And almost … humble.
This is maybe the most mindblowing thing of all. Elinor Sherman, grandest, snootiest woman in the world, for once hasn’t told me or bossed me or lectured me. She’s asked. And now she’s waiting meekly for an answer.
Or at least as meekly as you can when you’re dressed head-to-toe in Chanel with your driver waiting.
‘OK,’ I say slowly, and give her a sudden grin. ‘OK, Elinor. You’re on.’
‘Thank you.’ Elinor hesitates. ‘Rebecca, I wish to say something else. I know you have been determined to throw this party yourself. I know you take pride in being independent. But you must not underestimate the pleasure it will give others to do something for Luke, in whichever way is appropriate.’
‘My friend Suze said something like that to me, too,’ I say slowly. ‘She wanted to help but I wouldn’t let her.’
I wince as I remember Suze’s hurt voice, saying, ‘It’s not always about you, OK? It’s not because we think you can’t do it. It’s because Luke isn’t just your husband, he’s our friend too, and we wanted to do something nice for him.’
She really wanted to get involved. And I was too proud to let her. Even now, I haven’t actually asked, have I? I’ve waited for her to volunteer. Well, no wonder she hasn’t.
I suddenly feel like the biggest cow there ever was.
‘Elinor, excuse me a minute …’ I take a few steps away, pulling out my phone, and speed-dial Suze again.
‘Bex?’ She sounds surprised. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Listen, Suze,’ I say in a trembling rush. ‘I’m so sorry. I wish I’d asked you to help with the party all along. I love your idea about the special shortbread. Luke would be so touched. And I was just going to say …’ I swallow hard. ‘Is it too late? Would you help?’
There’s a still, beating silence for a moment, then Suze says, ‘Be honest, Bex. Have you got yourself in a totally shit mess?’
‘Yes!’ I give a half-laugh, half-sob. ‘I have.’
‘Then Tarkie owes me a fiver,’ she says with satisfaction. ‘OK. When, where, and what do I need to do?’
KENTISH ENGLISH SPARKLING WINE
Spandings House
Mallenbury
Kent
Ms Rebecca Brandon
The Pines
43 Elton Road
Oxshott
Surrey
3 April 2006
Dear Mrs Brandon
Thank you very much for your letter of 27 March.
I’m glad our consignment of 50 bottles of sparkling wine reached you safely and that on tasting, you were so ‘struck’ by its punchy and distinctive flavour. We’re very proud of it!
However, I totally understand if, as you say, you have recently discovered the Temperance Movement and decided to make your party teetotal. We will arrange to have the bottles picked up without delay and hope your party goes with a (dry) swing!
Yours truly
Paul Spry
Marketing Director
P.S. We will shortly be launching a non-alcoholic sparkling wine and I will be pleased to forward you ten bottles, with our compliments.