R u on way to Oxshott yet? All looks fab here and everything in place!!!!! Suze.
Nearly! I text back. C u soon!!!!!
As we travel down in the lift I smile nervously at Luke. It’s suddenly hit me. We’re nearly there! It’s nearly his surprise! After all this time, all this planning …
Excitement suddenly rushes up through me like a glittering firework and I can’t help giving him a hug. ‘All right?’
‘I suppose so.’ He raises his eyebrows wryly. ‘We’d better be getting special parenting angel points for this somewhere.’
‘I’m sure we will.’ Somehow I manage a normal-ish voice –but I can hardly contain myself. This is it! In less than an hour we’re going to arrive and Luke’s face is going to drop and he’s going to be so blown away he can’t even speak …
I hurry him out of the lifts and into the foyer. My legs feel light; my whole body is fizzing with anticipation.
‘You check how long the bar’s open,’ I improvise. ‘I’ll see if I can hail a cab.’
I’ve got a car service waiting outside. I’ll pretend I just found it on the street.
‘Luke? Luke Brandon?’
A balding businessman leaning against the concierge’s desk has looked up. He’s had quite a few drinks, I instantly realize from his bloodshot eyes.
‘Oh. Hello, Don.’ Luke smiles briefly. ‘How are you? Donald Lister from Alderbury Consulting,’ he introduces him. ‘This is my wife, Becky.’
A delighted realization is dawning on the man’s flushed face.
‘Wait a minute. Shit! Luke Brandon! It’s you!’ He points at Luke as though he’s won the prize and is claiming his ten quid. ‘Bloody hell! Happy birthday, old man! So how was it?’
The world goes blurry for an instant.
OK, we have to leave. Now. Trying not to give away my panic, I put my arm through Luke’s and tug gently, but he doesn’t move.
‘Good, thanks.’ Luke gives a polite, surprised smile. ‘How on earth did you know?’
‘Are you kidding? Everyone’s been—’ The man breaks off as he sees my face. ‘Shit.’ He gives an awkward guffaw. ‘Haven’t given the game away, have I?’
I want to say something quick and sharp that will neutralize him, I want to rewind, I want to smother this stupid man, get rid of him, go away—
‘Is it the bash tonight?’ The man claps a hand over his mouth. ‘Were you on your way— Oh bugger.’
I want to launch myself at him like a tigress and rip his head off with my teeth. Shut up, shut UP.
‘Sorry, sorry! Didn’t say anything.’ He pats the air a few times as though to bury his words, then hastily heads away across the marble floor.
But he can’t bury his words. They’re out there, like flying ants wheeling in the air.
For the first time ever, I wish I were married to some stupid, unperceptive, Neanderthal-type moron.
But Luke’s no moron. And I know him too well. He might look impassive to a stranger, but I could see his mind crunching. I could see exactly when the truth landed. Now his face is carefully blank but it’s there in his eyes. He turns and smiles.
‘Well … I’ve got no idea what that was all about,’ he says, his voice a little too hearty.
He knows.
I feel numb.
TWENTY-ONE
During the long taxi ride we hardly talk. At first I try to keep up a jolly façade but everything I say sounds false and hollow to my own ears. We turn off towards Oxshott and we’re nearly there and I should be bubbling with excitement – but it’s not like I planned at all.
A sudden tear rolls down my cheek and I brush it away quickly before Luke can see.
‘Becky …’ Luke sounds agonized.
Great. He did see. Even my own stupid body is giving it all away.
For a moment we just stare at each other and it’s as though marital telepathy is finally kicking in between us. I know what he thinks. I know what he feels. He’d give anything to rewind; he’d give anything not to know. But he can’t un-know.
‘Becky …’ Luke looks tortured as he scans my face. ‘Please …’
‘It’s fine. I just …’
‘I don’t …’
Everything we say is meaningless half-sentences. It’s like neither of us can risk edging near the truth. Then suddenly Luke seems to come to a decision and pulls me close.
‘I’ll be surprised,’ he says in an intense, low voice. ‘I will. I don’t know anything. If you knew how touched …’ He breaks off, breathing hard. ‘Becky, please don’t be upset …’ He grabs my hands and crushes them so tight I wince.