He held her for a few more minutes as she calmed down. Finally, he said, “It won’t be the same. It can’t be. And for that, I am sorry.” But a bitter taste filled his mouth, and a guilty voice in his head whispered that he wasn’t sorry at all.
She pulled away from him and narrowed her eyes, still sniffing a little. “Not going to apologize for the bite though, are you?”
“Are you going to apologize for going to Ivan’s?”
Natalie wrinkled her nose the same way she had in the car that first night. “I don’t even remember that. How am I supposed to apologize for not taking advice I don’t remember, you dork?”
He couldn’t help it, he smiled. She was not amused.
“Stop.”
“Can’t.”
“You’re not allowed to smile. You didn’t apologize for biting me.”
“And I’m not going to.”
“Urgh!” she growled, flopping back on the pillows as he leaned over her. “You’re so damn stubborn.”
JI
He had to laugh. “Look who’s talking.”
She didn’t even respond, only lifted one eyebrow and asked, “What else?”
“What else, what?”
“What other embarrassing stuff did I do that I don’t remember? I always remember things—I hate this.”
He debated about telling her she had kissed him. “You… ah—”
“I kissed you, didn’t I?”
He blinked. “How did you know?”
“I tend to get affectionate when I’m drunk. I figured amnis-intoxication might be the same.”
“I’ll remember that.” He smiled again when she punched his arm. “And I might have seen an eyeful when I took you home.”
Her mouth gaped open. “I was in my underwear that morning! I’d forgotten that part.”
He held up his hands. “It wasn’t me. I opened the door and you started stripping.”
“Oh no!” She covered her face. “And you looked?”
Of course he had. Did he look like an idiot? He decided she didn’t need to know everything. “I made sure you were safe and no one was in the house, then I locked up and let myself out.”
Her hands were still over her bright red face. “That’s all?”
“Disappointed? I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t enjoy the view.”
She punched his arm again, then rolled over and buried her face in the pillows. “Dying. I’m dead.”
His hand trailed down the exposed nape of her neck and over her shoulder. “You most definitely are not. Nor will you be anytime soon, Natalie Ellis.”
She took a deep breath that he matched. The human gesture seemed to soothe them both and he could feel the tension start to leave her shoulders. He continued to run a hand over her back, up and down, enjoying the meditation of listening to her steady heart and rhythmic breathing. She was so full of life. She made him feel alive, despite the pain of loss that still throbbed inside him.
Baojia couldn’t decide what he felt. For the first time in his immortal life, he was directionless. He had no family. His sire had cut him off at his own request. He was heartsore and confused. But he didn’t regret his actions. Nor did he second-guess himself. And oddly enough, he wasn’t lonely. Looking at the strange woman on the bed, he realized he hadn’t felt lonely since she’d appeared. Odd. And unexpected.
“Baojia?”
“Hmm?”
“What were you and Beatrice?”
His hand stilled. “We… were nothing.”
She rolled over and looked at him. “I’m not stupid. I know her husband doesn’t like you. I know she gets a weird look on her face when your name is mentioned. So whatever it was, it wasn’t nothing.”
How could he possibly explain? He still didn’t quite understand it himself. “Beatrice was an assignment.”
“What kind of assignment?”
“I watched her for Ernesto. She is his blood relative, and she was unguarded by Giovanni. For five years, he left her here. I don’t fully understand why, but I know they’ve made their peace about it. And while he was gone, she needed protection, so Ernesto asked me…”
“To watch her.” Her usually open expression was cautious. Wary.
“I guarded her. That was my assignment. And then later, I helped to train her. Before and after she became a vampire. I was her weapons instructapo8">or. And also her bodyguard.”
Natalie’s eyes narrowed. “You had feelings for her.”
“I…” He took a deep breath. “I watched her for five years. Watched her grow and mature. She’s a fascinating woman. I had feelings… for the idea of her. But by the time I had the opportunity to truly know her… She was Giovanni’s. She was always Giovanni’s; I can accept that.”
“But you didn’t like it.”
“Natalie—”
“Hey, you’re a hundred and twenty years old.” She rolled over again, facing away from him. “I’m sure you’ve had plenty of women who caught your interest in all that time. I shouldn’t even pry. It’s none of my business, but she’s my friend, and—”
“You have…” His voice dropped. “…every right to pry. And it is your business.”
Silence fell between them as he lifted his hand again, slowly running it down her back. He could feel her skin heat beneath his touch.