“Save it,” my brother mutters. “Maggie, are you seeing Malone?”
“Um, no. No.” My face warms, and I grab a few ketchup bottles for refilling. “Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know.” Jonah sighs morosely. “I thought you guys were hanging out lately. Anyway, I heard something about him the other day.” His voice trails to a mutter.
“Oh, really? What was that?” I ask, hoping for and failing to achieve a casual tone.
“He and Chantal are having a baby.”
“No! No, they’re not. What?where did you hear that?”
“Down at the dock,” Jonah answers. He takes a listless sip of coffee, then shudders.
“Well, it’s not really my business to talk about this, Joe, but…” Shit, what is the protocol on this? “See, actually, Chantal told me that the father is some out-of-towner. Not from here.”
“Oh.” Jonah stares into his coffee.
“Who told you it was Malone?” I can’t help but ask. “I mean, does everyone know Chantal’s…you know? Pregnant?”
“Yeah. Bunch of guys were talking at the co-op yesterday. Johnny French, Dad, Billy Bottoms, Sam…I don’t know. But yeah. Word’s out on Chantal.”
“You guys gossip worse than a bunch of high-school girls.”
Jonah forces a smile and presses his thumb against his eye socket.
“Want some aspirin, hon?” I ask.
“Sure,” he says. I fetch the bottle and hand him two.
“Don’t feel bad about Chantal,” I say to my brother, remembering his long-standing crush on her. “Maybe the post office has your mail-order bride.”
He gives a halfhearted laugh. “Thanks. Hey, you going to see Mom later?” he asks, standing.
I sigh. “Yeah. You?”
“Said goodbye yesterday. Can’t believe she’s really moving.”
It is a little hard to believe?our mother, she of the Sunday dinners and good china, is moving out of the house she’s lived in for thirty years. Both she and my dad are putting a good spin on things…new start, yadda yadda…but there’s a sadness to both of them these days.
My dad’s in the bomb shelter when I go over. He’s crying as he screws in a perch on a tiny birdhouse.
“Hey, Daddy,” I say, my throat growing tight at the sight of my father in tears.
“Oh, hi, Maggie,” he says, surreptitiously wiping his eyes.
“You okay?”
“Well, I guess so. It’s just a sad day, you know?” he says.
“You sure it’s what you want, Dad? Are you having second thoughts?” I pick up a tiny scrap of wood shaving and toy with it.
Dad sighs hugely. “I think we need to try being apart,” he says. “Being together hasn’t made either of us real happy. Doesn’t mean I don’t love your mother, of course. I do.”
“I know.” I watch as he taps a shingle, no bigger than a postage stamp, onto the roof of the birdhouse. “That’s a cute one,” I say. “I like the tire swing. Do you think they’ll use it?”
Dad smiles. “You never know.”
Upstairs, my mom is folding some clothes into a suitcase. “Hi, Maggie,” she says brightly.
“Hi, Mom. How are you?”
“Great. Fine.” Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. “A door closes, a window breaks, you know.”
“Right.” I’m going to miss those screwed-up clichés. “Are you scared?”
“Mmm-hmm.” She nods briskly and continues packing.
“Tell me about your job,” I urge, sitting on the bed. It’s hard not to cry, but I swallow and try to be excited for her.
“Well, it’s nothing, really. I’ll just be answering phones,” she says.
“Still, you got a job at a magazine. That’s great,” I say.
“We’ll see.”
I look in the box of things she’s packing, a surprisingly paltry amount. My mother is taking?for now, anyway?only some clothes, a few pictures of us kids and Violet and some books. She’s leaving all the pots and pans, all the Hummel figures, the paintings, all the crap of a three-decade-long marriage, and starting fresh.
“I think you’re really brave, Mom,” I tell her.
She bursts into tears and sinks onto the bed next to me, covering her face with her hands.
“Oh, Maggie,” she sobs. “I’m not. I’m terrified! I have no idea how I’m going to pull this off…. I have this awful image of myself, creeping back here in the dead of night because I just don’t know how to live on my own.”
“Mom, don’t cry. It’ll be okay. You can call me anytime, you know that, right? I’ll come right down. It’s not like you’re going to the moon.” I pat her back. “I’ll help you pick out new towels and pillows and stuff like that. We can go to the outlets and have lunch. It’ll be okay.”
She looks at me hopefully. “You think so?”
I nod. “Absolutely. And if you do come back, it won’t be creeping in the dead of night. It’ll be because you want to, not because you have to.”
She sighs, then blows her nose. “I hope you’re right.” She pauses. “You could come with me, Maggie. The apartment has two bedrooms.” There’s a touching note of hope in her voice, and I smile.
“Thank you, Mom. Thanks for asking. But I’m…I’m really happy here.”
“Are you, honey?”
I think a minute. “Yes. I am, Mom. I know you wanted more for me, but I love what I do. Even if it’s blue-collar, even if I’ve never really lived anywhere else.”
“What about…marriage? Children?” she asks carefully. I can see she’s trying not to have a fight.
“That would be nice. I do want those things,” I acknowledge. “But it’ll happen when it happens, I guess.”
“I just don’t want you to look back on your life twenty years from now, Maggie, and see all the things you could have done,” Mom says, blowing her nose again.
“I think I’ll look back and see all the things I did do, Mom,” I say, a little starch creeping into my voice. “I’ll see that I fed people and welcomed them, I helped them and kept them company…those are good things, Mom.”
“They are, Maggie,” she says, standing up to resume her packing. “But what about you, sweetheart? I want you to have someone to take care of you, too. You deserve that, you know. And if you can’t find someone wonderful, someone like Will, then you need to take care of yourself.”
I don’t answer. It’s hard to disagree with that. “Well,” I say, forcing a smile. “You need to be thinking about your own life, Mom.”
“You are my life, Maggie,” she says matter-of-factly, not looking at me. “The child who needs me the most.”
“WHAT CAN I GET YOU, girls?” Paul Dewey bellows a few days later. “Will the little mother be drinking tonight?”
My mouth drops open. “Dewey knows, too?”
“News travels fast,” Chantal murmurs. “How about cranberry juice, Dewey, hon?”
“I’ll have a Sam Adams, Paul,” I call.
He brings our drinks over and sits with us, gazing lovingly at Chantal’s br**sts, which have grown noticeably in her delicate condition. “So, Chantal, sweetheart, who’s the lucky guy?”
“Most guys in this town have been lucky at one time or another,” I quip. Chantal chuckles, but Dewey turns a scowling face to me.
“That’s no way to talk about a lady in her condition, Maggie. Shame on you.”
“I’m so sorry, Chantal,” I say. “Please forgive me for stating the truth.”
She laughs, and I feel a rush of more affection than I’ve felt for her before. Chantal has never pretended to be anything other than what she is, and for that, I admire her.
“So, Chantal, you gonna come clean with old Dewey? Who knocked you up, girl?”
“None of your business, Paul,” Chantal says coyly.
“Well, I heard a rumor,” Dewey says.
“Oh, really? About little old me?” Chantal asks.
“Ayuh,” Dewey says. “About you and a certain someone who hasn’t been around much lately. Afraid to show his face, apparently.”
Chantal and I exchange looks, her smile fading. “Really,” she says. “Spill, Dewey.”
Dewey does. “Malone. Is he the father?”
I choke on my beer, lurching forward in my seat as tears swamp my eyes and nose.
“No,” Chantal says firmly. “It’s not Malone. I never even slept with him, Dewey, and that’s the truth.”
“Well, that’s not what I heard,” Dewey drawls.
“And yet, wouldn’t I be in a better position to know?” Chantal hisses, eyes narrowing, as I continue to splutter.
“Word on the street is that Malone won’t own up to being the daddy. That he won’t take a DNA test so he can avoid paying child support. Well, don’t you worry, Chantal, honey. We’ll make sure?”
“Dewey, this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” I wheeze, still coughing. “If Chantal says it’s not Malone, it’s not Malone.”
“And it’s not Malone,” she confirms.
“Sure, sure, darlin’. If you say so.” Dewey hauls himself up and lumbers to the bar.
“Shit,” Chantal mutters, patting my back. With her uncharacteristically straight answer, Chantal has cemented the idea that Malone is indeed the father of her baby. “Where did he hear that? Maggie, you didn’t?”
“No!” I protest. “No, I didn’t tell anyone anything.” I consider for a moment. “Well, I told Christy what I thought, but she wouldn’t tell anyone. I’m sure of that.”
“Huh. Well, screw it. Someone else’s name will come up in about five more minutes.” She takes a sip of her juice and rubs her stomach unconsciously.
“Chantal,” I ask. “Are you sure you shouldn’t tell the father? Doesn’t he have rights and stuff like that?”
Her face falls. “Maggie, it’s not that simple. It would completely screw up his life. We only did it once, and I’m not going to saddle him with a kid.”
“Is he married?” I whisper.
“No,” she says. “But he’s…look, I’m just not going to tell, okay? Oh, look. Malone just came in.”
My physical reaction is immediate and dramatic. My face flushes lobster red, my legs go loose and watery, and my heart rate doubles. Malone sees us?it’s hard to miss the only two females in the bar, especially when you’re accused of impregnating one and have slept with the other?and gives a characteristically curt nod in our general direction. Then he sits at the bar and waits for Dewey to notice him.
Dewey ignores him.
“Can I get a beer?” Malone growls after a solid minute has passed.
“Not in my bar, you can’t,” Dewey answers.
“Dewey!” Chantal yelps. “Are you being an ass?” She pushes back from our table and sashays up to the bar. “Hi, Malone,” she says.
“Hi,” he grunts.
“Dewey, is there a problem here?” Chantal asks.
Malone stands up, glances at me and grabs his coat.
“No, no, no,” Chantal says. “Stay, Malone. Dewey, what’s your problem?”
“If a man can’t acknowledge his responsibilities, honey, he can’t expect people not to care,” Dewey begins. “And I’m not the only one who thinks so. Heard you got some lines cut, Malone.”