“Don’t stop. Please,” I begged.
I raked my fingers through his damp hair, fisting the strands gently. Tightening my legs around his waist, I churned my hips, urging his movement. I only needed the slightest friction to set off my orgasm. I was already slick around him. He barely moved when a quiet moan escaped my trembling lips. Warmth crept over my skin and I shuddered, my sex rippling over his length, my gaze never leaving his.
His lips parted slightly, his eyes misted with emotion. “You're going to be the death of me, I swear it.”
I kissed him deeply. “Finish me. Don't make me beg,” I breathed into his mouth.
“God help me, I’ve never wanted anything more. You…this.” He pulled out and drove into me again.
I cursed, crying out with every punishing thrust that sent unimaginable sensations through my body. A blinding mix of pleasure, pain, anger, and love seized me, rocking me from one orgasm straight into the next. Unable to contain the frenzy that had taken over, I clung desperately to him, my mouth at his shoulder.
Every muscle tensed, taut and rigid, beneath my touch. My teeth pressed into his skin and I dug my nails in deep, scoring his flesh down to his elbow. My cunt tightened around him. He growled, quickening his pace.
“Look at me.” His voice was tense with need. “I need to see you.”
I harnessed all my strength to raise my gaze, meeting his. Taking in all his beauty weakened me in his arms, putty in his hands. Never mind what I did to him. This is what he did to me.
His eyes never left mine as he rammed me into the door with his final thrust.
I sucked in a sharp breath. “Blake!”
“Feel me. I want you to feel all of me, Erica,” he rasped. A strangled groan followed as he emptied himself into me and released the last orgasm my body could give.
We stood there only a moment before we collapsed to the floor. He rolled to his back onto the Oriental rug. I draped my body lazily over his, spent from what had just happened between us, but still needing the contact, to know that we were still connected, together.
We stayed like that, no words, no movements, until he slid my skirt up a fraction, thumbing the tender flesh where he'd removed the obstacle of my panties moments ago.
I glanced down, and his hands cupped my ass. “You're going to have bruises here too.”
I looked back up to find his mouth set in a hard line. “Why would I care?”
“Maybe you should care.”
I slid my hand up his chest. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but I wish you would talk to me. If you really don’t want to, I can live with that too. But don’t push me away. I can’t take it.”
“Is that what you call pushing you away? Using your body as a battering ram?”
I frowned at his description of what we'd just had. Sure, it was a little rough and I'd probably feel it tomorrow, but anytime we were together meant something.
I rose to my knees, straddled his thighs, and dropped my hands to either side of him. I tried to read his eyes but he avoided my penetrating gaze, worrying the reddened flesh at the crease of my thigh instead.
I pulled off my shirt and bra.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting your attention.”
Heat passed over his eyes. “You have it.”
“I like when you lose control like that, Blake. Don't turn it into something dirty and wrong.”
His cock hardened beneath my thigh.
“What if it is? Giving you bruises…freaking you out.”
“Is that why you've been cockblocking yourself all night?”
“What I feel…for you, Erica. With everything else that's going on, sometimes it's just too intense. I feel like I'm going to rip us both apart. I wanted tonight to be different. I really did.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “You deserve to be worshipped. Loved.”
I frowned, trying to figure out how my habitually domineering lover was slipping away from me. “I do feel loved. I like waking up to the memory of your hands on me, even if I'm a little sore. It's new for me, I'll admit it.”
“I scared you before though.” He held my gaze, daring me to say otherwise.
“Sometimes it does scare me, but I trust you.” I paused. “I like the things we've done.”
“Do you realize I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of the things I want to do to you?”
My breath caught, but I didn't waste time dwelling on the fear that rooted in my stomach. “Then let's dig deeper.”
I doubted the words even as I said them, my heartbeat picking up speed again. Blake was already pushing me past boundaries I didn't even know I had. I was keeping up pretty well, but now, knowing his desires were that vast and beyond me, I couldn't help but feel a little in over my head.
“No.” His voice was quiet but firm.
“Why?” I hoped I'd masked my doubts.
“Because this isn't right. I shouldn't want to…to hurt you or restrain you. It's fucked up, and it's the last thing you should have to think about with everything you've been through. I realized that last time. I took things too far. The second I tied you up, I regretted it.”
“Then why didn't you stop?”
He was silent.
“Tell me.”
He sighed. “Because I knew I could calm you down, show you how to enjoy it.”
“And I did.”
“That doesn't mean anything. I shouldn't have challenged you that way.”
“I want to be challenged, Blake. If this is something you want, I want it too.”
“No, it's not going to be like that. Erica, you can put that right out of your head. You're not going down this road for me. You were…raped, for Christ’s sake. My compulsion for control when we're fucking is the last thing you need. You're not the right person for this.”
A sickness punched me in the gut and my skin chilled. What if I couldn’t be what he wanted? What he needed? I could posture all I wanted to in the boardroom, but my need for Blake's love had rooted itself well beyond any conscious control. “What do you mean?”
He sat up, bringing us chest to chest, warming me with his body. He stroked my back. “I mean I need to figure this out, for you, for us. Obviously I don't know the first thing about how to turn this off other than avoiding you sometimes. Tonight was…”
“Talking about Cooper set you off.”
He closed his eyes, wincing at whatever memories played in his mind. He opened his eyes and kissed me sweetly.
“You're everything to me, baby. I don't want to move backwards and talk about the past. All that shit I have no control over.”