“Okay,” I replied and I did what I had to do at that moment. I walked away from the boy I’d loved and the man I couldn’t forget.
Part of me hoped he’d stop me, call out to me asking me to turn around. But I knew better. Where I was weak and selfish, Asher was strong and selfless, keeping his word regardless of how he felt. He’d put his brother first, before anything else he wanted. I couldn’t hate him for that. He was being the good guy. And I was behaving like the villain.
Climbing the few short steps on my porch, I inhaled deeply, staring bravely at the large wooden door closed in front of me. I had to go inside and act like my heart wasn’t breaking into pieces. Let my dad know the delivery had come, then make some excuse to skip lunch, and head straight to my bedroom to hide.
Once upon a time, Asher had kissed me on these steps. Countless nights I’d sat here and waited for him to come. On even more lonely nights, I’d watched for his truck to pass, wondering why he didn’t want me anymore and what I had done to lose him.
This porch, these steps held more memories than I could count. I walked to the door, and put a brave smile on my face, one I didn’t feel and hadn’t truly felt in a very long time. I knew my parents would be in the kitchen. I could have called out, masked the pain in my voice, and just kept walking to my room. But I had to face my fears.
“Delivery came. It’s all good.” I hoped there would be no questions.
“Did it get unloaded?” Dad asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I replied, moving swiftly toward the stairs, almost escaping the next question.
“You coming to eat?” Momma asked. “It’s on the table, dear.”
I expected it. Knew it was coming. I replied, “Not hungry yet. Ate breakfast too late. I’m going to go read.” Today was my day off from the hair and tanning salon where I worked. I was the receptionist and I washed all the towels, too. Being lazy around the house on my days off was more acceptable now since I started working five days a week. The salon was closed on Sundays so I didn’t work then, spending those days reading as much as I could. I tried to keep to myself, though Steel took a lot of my free time. I knew I wouldn’t have felt that way had I loved him truly.
Once I was safely inside my room, I sank down on the bed and fell backwards. Staring at the ceiling, I faced the reality of what I had to do. I had to break up with Steel. Not because it would change anything with Asher—because it wouldn’t, it was set in stone—but because I just couldn’t do this to Steel anymore. He was a good guy, a great guy, and he deserved a girl who would love him for the amazing man that he was. That wasn’t me. It never would be. I’d already let this go too far.
I wasn’t proud of myself or my actions. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t change them. Do the right thing and get strong enough to move on. Find a life outside of this town, one without a Sutton boy by my side. Asher was right about one thing. I wasn’t meant for a Sutton boy.
Asher Sutton
“WHERE THE FUCK you been?” Dallas asked as I walked into the house. I knew by his language Momma wasn’t inside, or he would’ve paid dearly for that.
“Work,” I replied moving past him, heading to the fridge to get a glass of sweet tea and some food. I’d skipped my lunch break because Hannah had asked me to go with her. I lied and said I’d brought a sandwich, that I’d scarf it down and keep on working.
Grabbing some cold fried chicken, half an apple pie, cheddar cheese and the leftover biscuits, I set the banquet on the table and closed the door.
“You gonna share?” Dallas asked with a grin.
“No. Get your own.”
“I would, but you just cleaned out the damn fridge.”
I began slicing some cheese to go with my biscuits and took a tomato from the window seal. I knifed the stem head and cut it down the middle. After talking to Dixie, having had to say the things she needed to hear, I just wanted to be left alone. I wasn’t in the mood for my little brother’s smart mouth.
“Hey, slice me some tomato, too. Tomato, cheese and biscuits sound good. I’m starving,” Steel said as the screen door slammed shut behind him. “Oh, hot damn! There’s some chicken left, too.”
“He’s not sharing,” Dallas chimed in before I could reply. “He’s come in scowling and angry, determined to eat us out of house and home, which you can see is all on the table before you.”
“Everything okay?” was Steel’s immediate response. He was assuming this was about Bray, who was still locked in his room, heavily medicated. I sliced another tomato, put it on a plate, then turned to hand it to Steel.
“I’m fine. Just hungry. Didn’t eat all day. Take a couple of biscuits if you want. But the chicken, that’s all mine.”
Steel took the plate of tomato from me and sat down at the table. His gaze remained stuck on me, studying me, weighing my mood by my movements. It was hard having any secrets with a house full of nosey ass brothers. I’d been gone so long I forgot what this was like. Having someone always there watching you. Paying attention to your every mood. At school, no one cared. I could close off and get drunk all alone. No one ever questioned it. Here, that was impossible.
Steel asked, “Why didn’t you eat at work? Denver not give you a lunch break?”
“Yeah, he does, worked through it.”
“Then that’s your own fucking fault. Share the chicken,” Dallas replied, leaning over the table to grab a drumstick. I clutched his wrist and glared at him.
“I’m not in the mood,” I warned him. “Get your own goddamn food.” As the last word fell from my mouth, the screen door opened again and Brent walked in. He had been working outside since early this morning, ignoring Bray locked away in his room and the fact Scarlet had left town.
“Jesus. Y’all fighting over food?”
I tried to act like everything was normal for him. Not treat him with kid gloves like everyone else was doing. He obviously didn’t want to be treated that way. “No. This fucker won’t leave my lunch alone.”
“It’s four thirty in the afternoon. That ain’t lunch,” was Brent’s response.
“He didn’t eat lunch. Now he’s all pissy. Hoarding the food like a king.” Dallas drawled and leaned back in his chair, smirking after saying it. “Just tell us why you didn’t eat and I promise I’ll leave you alone.”
There had been times at college I missed this. My brothers, a full house, people who cared, but this wasn’t one of those times. Right now, I was missing my privacy. Something this bunch knew nothing about. Currently, what I wanted was to be treated as a leper and avoided like the plague.
I put the chicken breast down with more force than necessary, looking up at three pairs of all too similar eyes, all directly focused on me. They were all waiting on my response. Nosey bastards. They had to know.
“Hannah. That’s why I didn’t eat. She won’t leave me the hell alone. Now will you all let me fucking eat?” I was louder than necessary, but frustrated about being interrogated by them.
“So she held you down during your lunch break? Woman rode you? Wouldn’t let you eat? If that’s the case, I don’t blame you for not eating. That’s one hot piece of ass. Always thought she was a little uppity and superior, with her honor roll scholarship shit. But damn, those can be the wildest ones . . . did she happen to suck your dick?”