What could I say that would calm him down? No matter what was said anger would be the result. I was dead set on accepting the leader’s punishment, and Adam was dead set against it. Instead of trying to diffuse the situation, I remained quiet. Adam needed an outlet for his anger, and I was willing to be that for him.
Taking a deep breath, Adam spoke again. “Don’t you have anything you want to live for?”
I knew it was a loaded question. What he really meant was, wasn’t he important enough to me to fight for my life, so we could be together. Tears blurred my eyes and splashed against my cheeks as I looked away. I couldn’t go down that road again. I wouldn’t bring up the fact that even if I did lived, he was still mated to Eve. That was like chasing a merry-go-round, it never went anywhere except in circles. I thought about telling him how much he meant to me, but I faced the same problem. What would be the point in pouring my heart out when nothing would come of it? I never thought about fate or destiny until I became a werewolf. Now, more than ever, I was convinced it was a heartless bitch that got off on screwing up people’s lives.
“I can’t discuss this anymore.” I turned to leave, but Adam was in front of me so quickly I almost ran into him. Both of his hands gripped my arms as he stared down at me. I wondered if our hearts were still in sync and if his was beating as hard as mine.
“Give me tonight, Anna. I know your mind is made up and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Please just give me tonight.”
My tears picked up as if his words had turned on a faucet. My lip quivered and my nose filled. I was pretty sure I wasn’t much to look at, at that moment, but Adam’s interest never wavered. I planned on locking myself in my room and staring at a picture of my parents until sleep claimed me, but as Adam stood in front of me, I knew it’d be stupid not to share my last night with him.
Chapter Eighteen
Adam took me to a small cabin that sat higher up in the mountains. It looked like an abandoned hunting building that hadn’t been used in a long time. A thick layer of dust covered every square inch. Aside from a wood burning stove and a set of bunk beds, there wasn’t anything else in the space. Two small windows on either side of the room were covered with red and green plaid curtains. The walls were wood planks that looked like they’d been recycled from an old barn. I stood beside the door as Adam got to work at starting a fire. Being at this high of altitude there was still snow on the ground and a chill in the air. The night had taken a lot out of me emotionally. My body was tired and lethargic, even my wolf was quiet. Adam hadn’t spoken much on the drive up. Instead, he seemed oddly focused on his thoughts, and I let him. I was too overwhelmed with my own problems to dissect his.
Once the fire was started, Adam looked back at me. The space between us felt more like miles than feet. We stood at a standstill as we observed each other, the unspoken words so heavy they were like a physical weight bearing down on me. No thoughts occupied my mind as I stared at the man I’d wanted so badly, but never gave into. All of the rejecting seemed so pointless now.
Adam took slow, calculated steps towards me, and my body tensed in response. I knew what was going to happen, yet I wasn’t ready for it. At least, I didn’t think I was. My mind wasn’t in the right place to fully appreciate his company.
“What do you want, Anna?” Adam’s head tilted to the side and he watched me through thick lashes. His mouth was slightly upturned, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“What do you mean?” I hated how small my voice sounded. Now that I needed the strength of my werewolf, the bitch was cowering somewhere within me. I needed that extra helping of sass only she provided. Without her I was weak and vulnerable.
“If you weren’t going to die tomorrow, what would you want out of life?” Adam asked again, his fingers trailing down to the buttons on his shirt. One by one he popped them open until ridges of muscle were displayed.
My eyes stared at the small portion of exposed flesh as I answered. “I don’t know.” It was as honest of answer I could give him. Before I became werewolf, I didn’t have a future mapped out. I worked my job, paid my bills, and lived one day at a time. I learned when my parents died that the future could be short. What was the point in planning for something that may not come?
“Well that’s just not true, is it?” Adam said, taking a few steps closer. “You’re not the type to settle down behind a white picket fence and taxi rug-rats to soccer matches. So tell me, what type are you? What do you crave from life?”
I drew my eyes up and met his, they held a challenge I wasn’t getting. A fire burned behind those sapphires and heated me from the inside out. I felt more alive as something stirred between me and Adam.
“I haven’t figured it out yet,” I responded, standing up straighter. At the moment, I was longing for the man in front of me. My lethargic body had been awakened by his sexuality. Without thinking, I licked my lips and watched him through hooded eyelids.
Adam slipped his flannel shirt over his broad shoulders slowly and then tossed it onto the bed. The sight of him in the flesh was breathtaking. I couldn’t keep my eyes from roaming over every square inch that showed. A trail of sandy brown hair went from his abdomen and below his pants. His jeans hung low on his hips, revealing the sexiest “V” I’d ever seen. Adam’s skin was sun-kissed and golden, the light reflecting off of it. I crossed my arms over my chest and dug my nails into my palms. Giving into Adam would not change anything. I couldn’t allow myself to fall victim to the fantasies I once had of the two of us being together. I’d promised him I’d give him tonight, but it wouldn’t change what tomorrow would bring.
With slow, smooth steps, Adam stepped even closer. His hand reached out, and his fingers curled under the strap of my messenger bag. As he drew the purse away, he set it on the floor. A split second of panic pounded through me as I worried he’d find out what was in the bag and that I’d stolen it from him. That moment was quickly squashed when his attention was focused back on me. With his pointer finger, he tilted my chin up and leaned forward. He hovered in front of my mouth, his lips teasing mine.
“Since you don’t seem to know what you want, let me enlighten you,” Adam said, his breath caressing my face.
I swallowed hard and tried to remain calm. So many times I’d been this close to him and rejected what we both wanted. Tonight I wasn’t sure I’d have the strength to deny the one thing I craved from life, the one thing I wouldn’t admit to him. He was the one thing I wanted.
“You want adventure,” Adam began, pressing a soft kiss to my eager lips. “You want a life full of excitement.” His mouth trailed down my neck, goose bumps broke out along my skin. “You want spontaneity.” He ran his hands down the side of my stomach, his fingers gripping the hem of my tank top. My chest rose and fell in anticipation and nervousness. A smirk lifted his lips as he tugged my shirt over my head. I could see my breasts rising and falling as my breathing picked up.
Adam walked around me, my head swiveling to watch him. He was the sexiest predator and I would willingly be his prey. With one hand he brushed my blonde hair to the side and kissed up the length of my neck. “You want passion.” While I was distracted by the sensation of his delectable kisses, he unclasped my bra. Drawling the straps over my shoulders, he let it fall to the floor. My hands instinctively went up to cover myself.
Being like this with Adam was so much different than it had been with Sawyer. With Sawyer it had just been sex, but with Adam I had stronger feelings. I felt as nervous as a virgin on her wedding night. Adam’s eyes devoured me and left me breathless. Here was a man who wanted to claim my body, his sheer presence consumed me. Out of all the men I’d met, Adam was the only one who could make me forget myself.
As he walked around me, he spoke with authority. “Tonight you’ll be mine, Anna. No more scurrying away. No more teasing. No more talk of me and Eve. Tonight it’s you and me. Tonight…I’ll make you moan for me.”
I was practically moaning already. His dominance was a major turn on. I loved a man who knew what he wanted and took it—so long as the woman was willing—and believe me, I was willing.
Adam stood in front of me. I couldn’t speak as I watched him stake out my body. Slowly, he knelt in front of me, his hands resting on my hips, his fingers indenting my flesh. His mouth enclosed around the button on my shorts. Somehow he managed to unfasten them, his teeth clasping the zipper and finishing the job. I knew my mouth was hanging open as I watched him slide them down my legs, but I couldn’t help it. I was a raging ball of hormones. Even my wolf perked up. She sent a wave of want through my body so intense I about tackled Adam to the floor. The only thing that held me back was how nervous I was. Adam was going to be a game changer. Good thing I wouldn’t be around after tomorrow night, otherwise I’d become a slave for him. After I got a taste of my alpha, I’d be his mistress without so much as an argument. Eve who?
I shook away the thoughts. We only had tonight and that was all that mattered. I no longer needed to worry about becoming a mistress or being treated as an unequal. Tonight was about me and Adam, nothing else mattered in this tiny cabin. The outside world’s problems would be waiting for me tomorrow.
“Your body is torturous,” Adam said.
I scrunched my face in confusion. “Torturous?” That didn’t sound good. I looked down at myself. My breasts were a nice size and my stomach was flat. I even had a nice tan. I thought I looked pretty damn hot.
“Hmm,” Adam confirmed. “It has taunted my dreams these past months. Its beauty always on display, but just out of reach. It’s a lethal, beautiful thing.”
I laughed nervously. How was I supposed to respond to that? I said the first thing that came into my head, “Thanks,” and then regretted it. Heat rushed to my cheeks and Adam smirked again.
He hooked his fingers over my underwear and trailed them down my legs, and the heat in my cheeks grew hotter. What in the hell was wrong with me? I’d only been with two men in my entire life, but I hadn’t been this shy with Sawyer. I decided that Adam threatened my commitment phobia—he scared me. Adam was the first man I could see myself in a relationship with. That was stupid though. I’d be dead tomorrow. Still, it did nothing to ease my nerves or the shyness that overtook me.