“Can you wait just a few more miles?” he asked. “We’ll be on McCabe land soon.”
She grimaced. “I’m afraid not. The child I carry makes it hard to hold it in.”
His smile was fleeting as he called a halt. He eased her down from the saddle, and she nearly went down in a heap. Gannon was there to catch her and she nearly wept in gratitude when he offered her a reassuring smile.
To Gannon’s utter shock, she threw her arms around him and hugged him fiercely. His hands went up and he stammered as he tried to ask her what she was about.
“Thank you,” she whispered. She pulled away and smiled at him.
“For what, my lady?” he asked in confusion.
“For coming for me.”
She turned then and went in search of a private area to relieve herself.
Ewan smiled and watched as his wife ducked behind a tree in the distance. She had stunned Gannon with her gratitude. If he had to guess, all his men would be the recipients of her affection before it was over with.
A moment later, Mairin returned and Ewan absorbed the vision of her holding a protective hand over her small, round belly. It staggered him just how relieved he was to have her home, or nearly so. He’d pushed his men hard, afraid that Duncan would pursue them and Mairin would be caught solidly in the middle as they would do battle. He wanted her safe. He wanted her far removed from the inevitable bloodshed between him and Cameron. The bastard’s days were numbered, and no matter that Ewan defied the king himself, he’d avenge his wife.
As he was reaching down to pull Mairin into the saddle, he realized that he no longer sought vengeance for the wrong done to his father and their clan. He sought vengeance for a beautiful lass who had more hurt in her blue eyes than he ever wanted to see in a lifetime.
“We’re nearly home,” he whispered in her ear.
She turned and looked up at him with sadness and pleading in her eyes. “As soon as we cross over to McCabe land, can you send your men ahead? I must talk with you, Ewan. ’Tis important that I do so before we arrive at the keep. Once we ride into the courtyard, we’ll be pulled this way and that. We have to settle this. We must.”
He touched her face and tried to smooth the lines of worry from her brow. What on earth worried her so? Dread gripped his heart at the depth of sadness in her gaze. He prayed for the strength to endure the telling of it all. “Aye, lass, we’ll talk.”
An hour later, he reined in his horse and then motioned the others to go ahead.
Caelen and Alaric approached on their horses and stopped beside Ewan and Mairin.
Alaric frowned. “I don’t like leaving you alone, Ewan.”
“We’re far enough onto our land now. I have need for some time alone with my wife. We’ll be along in a while. Go ahead and announce that I’m bringing her safely home.”
With reluctance, Alaric and Caelen rode ahead. Their pace picked up as they started down the mountain toward the last stretch home. Soon the others followed suit, spurring their mounts to a gallop and then a run.
Shouts filled the air. Whoops and cries of triumph filled Ewan’s ears, and he couldn’t help but smile. But when he looked down at Mairin, her eyes were troubled and filled with grief.
His heart turned over and he closed his eyes as he prepared to hear of all that Duncan had done to her. A part of him didn’t want to know. He wanted to forget it—wanted her to forget it—so they could put it solidly in the past. But he also knew she’d have need of telling it, so she could rid her system of the poison Cameron had inflicted.
He got down from his horse and then reached up to gently take her from the saddle. He carried her to a patch of thick grass that was warmed by the sun. He sat down on the ground and nestled her firmly into his arms.
He could scarcely credit that they were on his lands and she was back in his arms. The last week had been a test of his endurance. At his lowest point, he wondered if he’d ever see her again. He never wanted his faith tested in such a manner again.
“I did a terrible thing,” she choked out.
Ewan pulled back in surprise, his brow furrowed in confusion. “What are you speaking of?”
“I agreed. God help me, I agreed to a devil’s bargain in order to keep our child safe. I was disloyal to you, Ewan, for I vowed I’d lie and support Duncan’s claim in exchange for our child’s life.”
Ewan swallowed back his own grief at the desperation in her voice. “Shh,” he whispered. “I’ll never believe for a moment that you were sloyalyal to me.”
Pain filled Mairin’s eyes. “He wanted to make me miscarry our child. He was going to force me to drink a potion. I would have said and done anything to save our baby. I convinced him that if I miscarried, as far along as I was, that there was a chance I wouldn’t bear another child. I convinced him that the logical thing to do was to carry on the avowal that it was his child, for as long as I delivered a child, he would control Neamh Álainn regardless whose babe it was. He agreed, but even then I was afraid to eat or sleep because I worried he’d go back on his word and eliminate our baby.”
Ewan gathered her in his arms and rocked her back and forth, his eyes closed at the terror she’d lived in. No wonder she was so thin. She hadn’t eaten for fear she’d lose her child. His child.
“Your brilliance amazes me, lass. To have thought of a solution so quickly. I’m humbled by your courage and daring. No child could have a fiercer mother. Our son or daughter will be blessed beyond measure.”
She stared up at him, hope lighting her eyes for the first time. “You aren’t angry?”
“How could I be angry at a woman who’d sacrifice everything to keep my child from harm?”
“Oh, Ewan,” she whispered. And then her eyes clouded again and she looked down.
He nudged her chin upward with a tender gesture. “What is it?”
“I agreed to be his wife. I agreed to never deny him.” She closed her eyes as tears slipped in silvery trails down her cheeks.
For a moment Ewan didn’t breathe. He couldn’t imagine such a sacrifice. His chest ached as he finally sucked air into his lungs. But if she could find the courage to tell him all, he would find the courage to hear it. “Tell me, sweeting. Did he … Did he hurt you?”
The words spilled painfully from his lips. His throat threatened to close at what he imagined she might have endured.
“I … I vomited on him the first time he tried. I blamed it on my pregnancy, but it was God’s truth the idea of him bedding me made me ill. Afterward he seemed afraid I’d repeat the insult so he stayed away from me.”
Ewan’s relief was so great that it made him light-headed. He gathered her in his arms and held on, just absorbing the feel of her in his grasp after so many weeks. And then he chuckled, the image of her retching all over Cameron amusing him to no end.
She looked up at him, her eyes shining so brightly that he lost himself in the deep pools. The light dimmed for a moment and she frowned.
“Ewan, what about the dowry? Is it lost to us forever?”
Ewan sighed. “It was awarded to Cameron. I’ve no doubt that he’ll receive it whether you’re in residence or not. Archibald, and possibly the king himself, is in league with Cameron.”
Tears filled her eyes and she hung her head. “Everything you married me for hasn’t come to pass. Our clan needs food and clothing. Our soldiers need supplies. We have need of repairs. How are we going to survive, Ewan?”
He caught her face between his hands and stared down into her eyes. “You are everything to me, Mairin. I can go without food. The keep can crumble. But I can’t live without you. We’ll make it. We’ve always made it. Somehow we’ll see it through. But I cannot live my life without you. If the dowry never comes to pass. If we never claim Neamh Álainn. As long as I have you, lass. As long as I have you.”
She threw herself around him and hugged him until he couldn’t breathe. Her body shook as tears slipped down his neck. He didn’t chide her, though, because it was God’s truth he wanted to cry himself.
“I love you, Ewan. Thank God you came for me.”
He pressed his forehead to hers as their lips danced ever closer to each other. “I’d battle the fires of hell to bring you home, lass. Now let’s ride on. Our son misses his mother and our clan misses their mistress.”
The entire clan was assembled in the courtyard when Ewan rode across the bridge, Mairin held solidly before him in the saddle.
Her head rested against his chest and her hair streamed down her back, the ends lifting in the slight breeze.
His clansmen all leaned forward, and their need to see that their mistress was well was visible on each of their faces.
Ewan came to a halt and pulled back the blanket that shielded Mairin from view. The courtyard erupted in a chorus of cheers.
Mairin straightened in his hold and smiled back at her clan. Tears shone in her eyes and she offered a reassuring wave.
“Mama! Mama!”
Crispen bolted through the crowd and ran straight for Ewan’s horse. Ewan smiled down at his son.
“Stay right there, lad. I’ll hand your mother down.”
Crispen’s and Mairin’s smiles lit up the entire courtyard. Something inside of Ewan shifted and clenched until his chest ached. With love.
Alaric and Caelen came forward and Ewan handed Mairin down to them while he dismounted. As he’d expected, she threw her arms first around Alaric and squeezed until he laughingly begged for mercy. Then she let him go and turned to Caelen, who already had his hands up to ward her off. Paying him no mind, she launched herself at him and he had no choice but to catch her so she didn’t fall. She hugged him fiercely, babbling her thanks all the while.
“You daft woman,” Caelen muttered. “Did you honestly think we’d leave you to that pig?” He tweaked her chin and she beamed up at him before hugging him all over again.
Caelen goaned and turned her around in her husband’s direction. Ewan was only too happy to gather her in his arms and swing her around.
“Put her down, Papa! I want to hug Mama.”
Chuckling, Ewan set her on her feet and Crispen promptly threw his arms around her waist. Tearfully, Mairin gathered him in her arms and proceeded to kiss every inch of his hair.
Alaric and Caelen looked on indulgently, but Ewan could see in their eyes the clear affection they had for his wife. She had conquered them all. Ewan. His brothers. His men. Their clan.
He held up his hand to silence the uproar around them.
“Today is a truly glorious day,” he said to the gathered clan. “Our lady is returned to us at last. She made incredible sacrifices to keep our child safe and the McCabe legacy alive. She worried that the loss of her dowry would somehow dampen our enthusiasm for her return when indeed she is our greatest treasure.”
He turned then to Mairin and slowly went down on one knee in front of her. “You are my greatest treasure,” he whispered.
Around him, his men also went down on one knee, their swords drawn and pointed in her direction. Alaric and Caelen both stepped forward. Ewan saw the question in her eyes. Then they both went on bended knee in front of her.
It was too much for his tenderhearted wife. She wept as noisily as a newborn babe. No one seemed to mind. Smiles shone on the faces of his exhausted men.
“Oh, Ewan,” she cried, as she launched herself toward him.
He had no choice but to catch her, though they still landed on the ground in a tangle of arms and legs. She loomed over him and peppered his face and neck with kisses.
She was crying so hard that twice her lips slipped off his face and glanced off his ears.
“I love you,” she wept. “Never did I dream that I’d find a man like you.”
Ewan caught her in his arms and gazed lovingly into her eyes.
“ ’Tis a known fact that you were God’s gift to this clan, lass. And to me. Especially to me,” he whispered.
A resounding cheer nearly deafened him. Mairin clapped her hands over her ears, but her smile was enough to light up the darkest winter night.
Not caring who saw him or what conclusion they drew, he rolled to his feet, swung her into his arms, and started for the steps of the keep.
“Ewan, what are you doing?” she demanded.
He silenced her with a kiss as he walked inside the hall. “Hush, wife. Don’t question me. I have a pressing need to experience my wife’s indecency.”
CHAPTER 38
Mairin stared longingly over the rolling terrain, the earth bursting with green, and inhaled the sweetly perfumed air of summer. She itched to leave the keep, even if just to walk about the courtyard, but Ewan had expressly forbidden her to leave the safety of the walls, and he had enough worries without her adding to them.
The McCabe clan readied for war. It wasn’t an outward cry but rather a quiet readying of the men and their weapons. They were resigned to their fate as enemies of the crown and of Duncan Cameron.
Mairin left the window and descended the stairs to the hall, where she found Gannon and Cormac eating the noon meal with their soldiers. She waved her hand for them to continue eating.