“You’re lucky your father managed to clear you,” Ash said. “That alone should tell you how he feels.”
I didn’t say anything. My father had cleared me by saying I had been under Cassava’s control and so I wasn’t to be held responsible. I was grateful, but a part of me hated that I’d had to hide behind lies. Behind Cassava in a way.
Three weeks since she had nearly killed my father, three weeks and yet it felt as if the summer had been an entire lifetime. In a little over two months, I’d gone from a nearly useless planter, to an Ender in training, to facing down the queen, saving my father and family, and now I was being treated like I was weak again. Weak because Cassava had “used me” according to all reports. And no one trusted me. Except for Ash and my father. And Fern. I couldn’t leave her out of that small group.
I was back to square one in many ways, which was galling to say the least.
We made our way quickly through the main building of the Spiral, and then headed down a narrow set of stairs to the hot springs below. “Ash, are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
“No. It isn’t my place.”
That didn’t sound good, despite his assurances. My guts tightened and a nervous tremor started at the base of my skull. He pushed open the last door that led into the hot springs, and waved me through.
The sand was as white and clean as the last time I’d been there, as a young girl. Right before Cassava had me removed from the Spiral. But this time was different.
Torches lit and burning bright were placed in the sand, making a perfect pathway to the water. The water was no longer the sharp, clear blue that I’d swam in years past as a child. Now it was a deep, dark blue that lapped gently at the white sand, the belly of the spring glowing with a bright clear light that beckoned me.
One of our Testers stood at the beginning of the path. “Larkspur, I am Douglas, I will be your tester today.”
Confusion scrambled my brain. “What’s going on?”
Ash stood in front of me, hands folded over his chest, eyes never leaving mine. “You are here for your final testing, Lark. What you said to Coal is correct. In the past, in times of great need, Enders were trained and sent into battle to be tested. Those who rose to the challenge were brought here for the final steps. Do you wish to see this through?”
I nodded, throat tight. I was going to be an Ender. No longer useless to my father or family. And then behind Ash, at the head of the pathway, stepped my father.
He gave me a soft smile. “Come here, sweet pea. There are things you need to know.”
This was the man I remembered as my father. Where had he been all these years? I stumbled to him and he caught me in his arms. His hold tightened on me and I breathed him in. Feeling like I was ten years old again, and my father would make everything right in the world.
“Hush, I don’t think Enders are supposed to cry.”
I laughed and stood up straight, wiping my eyes. “Father.”
“I have to go back to the gala, but I wanted to be here for this moment. For you. For your mother.” He handed me a folded stack of papers. “This is your lineage on your mother’s side. Her family tree will tell you much you need to know about yourself. Things I haven’t been able to tell you.”
I took the bundle of papers, and held them to my chest, a question burning in my heart, one that had hovered on the edge of my lips for years. “Why did you turn away from me? All those years . . . .”
His eyes closed and a tear tracked down his cheek into his beard. “I knew Cassava would see you as a threat. It was the only way I could make sure you were safe, that you could grow into the woman you are. By making her think you meant nothing to me, her jealousy was kept from you.” He opened his eyes and took my hands in his. “All of my children are precious to me, every last one of you. Lark, my daughter, you have it in you to be stronger than them all. That is why I kept you away. That is why I acted indifferent. What do you think would have happened if you’d stayed close, if I’d truly had someone break through your barriers while Cassava was still here?”
“She would have used me too.”
He nodded. “And there would have been none to save us.”
I blurted out the next question. “Then why the hell didn’t you kick her ass out of the forest?”
He didn’t yell, didn’t get angry; he laughed, but it was a tired laugh. “Oh, if only it were that easy. By the time I realized what she was doing, she had more than half my Enders, and was manipulating the other families as well. I was biding my time. It’s not like we don’t have a lot of that.”
“Not my mother.”
“Lark, another time we will speak of all this. Of your mother, of Bramley, and all that happened that you did not see. I promise.” He put his hands on my shoulders and squeezed gently. “But this is here and now. You must decide, is this the life you want? To be an Ender? To forsake hearth and home for steel and blood?”
I took a half-step back from him. “Until Cassava is dealt with, there is no chance for peace here. No safety for any of us. Certainly not for anyone I would love, or any child I would have.”
“Then go with my blessing. And know I love you, my daughter, even if it seems to the world I do not.”
He turned and walked away, slipping through the doorway that would take him back to the gala and the revelers waiting for him.
“Strip,” Ash said.
“Everything?”