“My lady,” he murmured, dropping his head a few centimeters.
Daci smiled and pulled back. She nodded, casting a glance at Tatiana before speaking to the housemother. “He’ll do.”
Tatiana covered her mouth to hide her prideful smile. The slightest twinge of jealousy bit at her, knowing that Daci would be the first to break that boy’s tender skin and taste the life that flowed in his veins.
She’d never wanted to rid herself of Damian so badly.
Fi couldn’t stop trembling. Beyond the ready room, the noise of the gathering crowd in the arena filtered through. The crowd that was going to watch this madness unfold. The crowd that would cheer Heaven on, because Heaven was one of their own.
All of them varcolai. All of them, save Doc, Omur, and Barasa, here to watch Heaven destroy her.
Heat built at the back of Fi’s eyes. Heat that meant tears. Why had she done this? She tipped her head back. She would not cry. No way in hell. She might be scared. And stupid. But she wasn’t going out there looking like a crybaby who’d suddenly realized what a jack-witted thing she’d done. Besides, she knew what she needed to do when she got out there.
She breathed a few steadying breaths and forced herself to run through the moves Omur and Barasa had taught her. Just in case. The way to move when Heaven lunged, how to anticipate a punch, how to take a punch.
How not to die.
“Mercy,” Fi whispered, tasting the word to see how bitter it was. She didn’t plan to use it, because using it meant losing Doc, but if not using it meant dying, she might. Dying would give Heaven complete access to Doc. Unless… Fi sat down on the narrow bench attached to the wall. Would she actually die? Or would she just be unable to return to a solid form? Or worse. Fi shuddered. If she died and got stuck in that nightmarish loop of repeating the day Mal had killed her…
She got to her feet. That wasn’t a chance she was willing to take. Not with the old witch Aliza dead. Who would cast the spell to get her out of the loop if it happened again? She shook her head and began to walk the perimeter of the room.
Doc burst in. “Fi.”
The tears she’d been holding back rose up fresh, spilling down her cheeks. She ran to him, buried herself against his hard body. “This has got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”
“Hey now.” He petted her hair as she sniffled into his chest, then gently pulled her back. “I think we both know falling in love with me was the stupidest thing you ever did.” He smiled and winked, but his eyes mirrored the fear she was feeling.
She smiled back anyway, knowing that was what he wanted. “I’m afraid.”
He frowned. “Your plan’s going to work. I know it will. And don’t be afraid of Heaven. Please, baby, you’ve already been through worse than anything that woman can dish out. You died twice, for Bast’s sake. You’ve lived with all the crap that goes on in Mal’s head. Heaven can’t be scarier than that.”
“She’s not. I’m afraid of losing you.” She sniffed and wiped her nose on the sleeve of the oversized jumpsuit she’d been issued. At least the boots they’d given her fit. Didn’t hurt that fashionista Heaven would have to wear one of these getups too. It was supposed to help even the playing field. “And you’re right.” She nodded. “I can do this.” But those words were for him. Inside, doubt raged. Would Heaven really let her cry mercy if something went wrong? Somehow she didn’t think so. “It’s going to be fine.”
His smile returned. “That’s the spirit.” He kissed her, too briefly. “I have to go. I gotta visit Heaven. Not supposed to even be here, actually.” He shrugged, looking embarrassed about what he’d just admitted. “That’ll all change soon enough.”
“It’s okay. I understand.”
He backed toward the door. “One move and this is all behind us.”
She nodded. “One move.”
His smile broke down. “See you when it’s over.”
She just nodded again, unable to find words. He shut the door. She went back to the bench, bent her head into her hands, and began running through the training once again just in case her plan didn’t work.
The door opened a second time. Barasa slipped in, closing the door quickly behind him. “I just have a second; they’re coming to get you. Draw the fight out as long as you can. Understand?”
“I understand, but I don’t think it’ll be necessary.”
Barasa hesitated, then patted her arm. “I hope you’re right, but if not, tire her out. And remember what we showed you.” He turned toward the door like he’d heard something. “Best of luck. Must go.”
And then he was gone.
Odd, but she didn’t have time to think about his strangeness, because seconds later, two big varcolai showed up to take her to the arena. They walked her down the hall and when the doors opened before her, the noise of the crowd rolled over her like a tsunami.
The guards stopped her at the edge of the arena. “Whoever leaves the ring alive, leaves victorious.”
Fi twisted sharply. “This isn’t a death match. Death or mercy.” Unless something had changed. Wouldn’t Doc or Barasa have told her? Panic scratched at her throat. “Right?”
The guard shrugged, then grunted, “Forward.”
She didn’t move. “Not until you answer me.”
The second guard laughed. “It’s death or mercy. But a human against one of us? Death would be mercy.”