Kicking the bedroom door open, I nearly dropped her when I realized Max was lying across the bed reading.
“Aren’t you drunk?”
“I recover very quickly,” Max said with a snort, his eyes not leaving the page of the book. “Besides, a guy happens to sober up pretty fast when he sees his best friend drunk and staring at a guy’s naked body like she was a doctor studying the human form.”
“Look, about that.” I set Milo on the bed.
“No.” Max set the book down and folded his arms across his chest. “She may have played you but she did it because she can’t handle all the feelings in her, okay? She’s Milo, for shit’s sake. Normal isn’t really in her vocabulary. I don’t even think she knows what that word means.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, well, it wasn’t what it looked like. I mean we didn’t . . . do anything.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Max shrugged. “If you don’t have the balls to take what’s been yours for this long . . .” He picked up the book again. “Then maybe you don’t deserve her.”
“I don’t deserve her.” I cleared my throat. “But I want her anyways.”
Max threw the book onto the bed and jumped to his feet. He swayed a bit, but his eyes were clear as a freaking sunny day. “I was hoping you’d say that, so this is how it’s going to work.”
“Huh?”
“What?” He punched me in the arm. “You want Milo, I’m going to help you get her. Because I’m a stand-up dude and I’m sick and tired of her pining after you, and besides, if I help you win her over then I can move on with my own dating life. The waters are rough when she’s always there killing my game.”
“Uh . . .” I raised my hand. “I have her.”
“Aww.” Max patted the same shoulder he’d just gotten done punching and sighed. “You cute, misinformed, innocent little lamb.”
“Pardon?”
“She’s going to eat you alive.”
“What?”
“Milo.” Max pointed. “Doesn’t do declarations of love. She’s not like most girls. You can’t just break down and cry and say you want to have a bazillion babies with her.”
“One, maybe two,” I said hoarsely. “A bazillion? Who says that?”
“Stupid men. Ones that are in love and dig their own graves for sport. If you want to catch one in the wild all you need to do is turn a bit . . .” He smiled. “And there you go! Look!” He pointed at the mirror. “Shh, don’t make any sudden movements.”
“You calling me stupid?”
“Yes.” Max nodded. “But chin up, we’ll fix you.”
“No fixing.”
“Then no girl.”
“How do you even know this?”
“I’m not really gay.” Max rolled his eyes as if that were the reason I was hesitant about taking his advice. Right.
“Dude.” I tried explaining. “I have her—I just need to tell her how I feel.”
“She’ll run.” Max popped his knuckles. “She’s afraid of her own feelings. She’s been after you her whole life. The minute she has you in a corner, she’ll panic. Girls are weird like that. They overthink everything. Holy crap, what if he isn’t the same man I thought he was? What if I don’t love him as much as I think I do? What if he sucks at kissing? What if his—”
“I’m good at all things sexually related. Let’s just clear the air.”
“You sure?” Max rolled his eyes. “I mean how do you really know?”
Well, shit, he had me there. I averted my gaze. “I just know.”
“Is that hesitation I see in your eyes? Kiss me.”
“Hell, no!” I shouted.
Max shrugged. “Fine, don’t kiss me, but at least hit on me. Okay, so pretend I’m Milo and you’re about to make your move and declare your love, blah blah blah.”
“No.” I stood my ground. “I’m going to do it my way.”
“Your way is going to be another two years of cat and mouse. You gotta play her game to win it.”
Damn him. He had a point. Milo wasn’t most girls. What if he was right about everything else too?
“I see the wheels of your mind turning—fascinating. Tell me, do you actually feel the smoke coming out of your ears?”
“You’re a jackass.”
Max grinned. “I’ve been called worse. My mom hates me.”
“What?”
“Thirteen-pound baby. Hate isn’t a strong enough word. When I came into the world, she told my father our family was cursed. Anyways, over-share. Okay, so I’m Milo . . . you do what? What do you say first?”
I shuffled my feet.
“Stop looking down.”
Shit. “Fine.” I licked my lips nervously. “Milo, I know that things have been—difficult, and . . .”
Max winced as I kept going.
“And, um, I know that . . .” And just like that, my mind went blank.
“Wheels stopped moving, didn’t they?” Max nodded in understanding.
“Yeah.” I covered my face with my hands. “How the hell am I going to do this?”
“Follow my lead.”
I nodded as Max put his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me forward. “You irritate the hell out of me, but I can’t stand it any longer. I want you, and only you, for the rest of my life. I want to kiss you, I want to make love with you, I want to have children with you. I want a life with you. And if you try to run I’m just going to hunt you down. You and me. Forever.”