"Yeah,"I said, my voice cracking. I cleared my throat. "And I have to say, the world's first and last Eye-demon reconnaissance mission went pretty wel ."It was a struggle to meet his eyes, but I managed it. "Thank you."
He shrugged, his dark gaze ful of something I couldn't quite read. "We were a good team."
"We were."In more ways than one, I thought. Which is why this sucked so bad.
I stepped back. "Anyway, I should go. See ya, Cross."Then I laughed, only it sounded suspiciously like another sob. "Except I won't, wil I? So I guess I should say goodbye."I felt like I was about to shatter into a mil ion tiny shards, like the mirrors I'd broken with Dad. "Okay, wel , best of luck with the whole Eye thing, then. Try not to kil anyone I know."I turned away, but he reached out and caught my wrist.
I could feel my pulse hammering under his fingers. "Mercer, that day in the cel ar..."He searched my face, and I could sense him struggling for what he wanted to say. Then final y, "I didn't kiss you back because I had to. I kissed you because I wanted to."His eyes dropped to my lips, and it was like the whole world had shrunk to just me and him and the shaft of light between us. "I stil want to,"he said hoarsely. He tugged my wrist and pul ed me into his arms.
My brain registered the sound of his sword clattering to the ground as his other hand came up to grab the back of my neck, but once his lips were on mine, everything else faded away. I clutched at his shoulders, raising up on my tiptoes, and kissed him with everything I had in me. As the kiss deepened, we held each other tighter, so I didn't know if the pounding heartbeat I felt was mine or his.
How stupid, I thought dreamily, to have ever thought I could give this up. Not just the kissing, although, as Archer's hands cupped my face, I had to admit that part was pretty awesome. But al of it: joking with him and working beside him. Being with a guy who was my friend and could stil make me feel like this.
"Oh, Mercer,"he murmured against my temple once we'd come up for air, "we are so screwed."
I pressed my face against his neck, breathing him in. "I know."
"So what do we do?"
Reluctantly, I tried to move away. It was hard to think when he was so close to me. "If we were good people, we'd never see each other again."
His arms locked around my waist, pul ing me back. "Okay, wel , that's not happening. Plan B?"
I smiled up at him, feeling ridiculously giddy for someone on the verge of ruining her entire life. "I don't have one. You?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. But...look. I've spent basical y my whole life pretending to be someone I'm not, faking some feelings, hiding others."Reaching down, he clasped my hand and lifted it so that our joined hands were trapped between our chests. "This thing with us is the only real thing I've had in a long time. You're the only real thing."He raised our hands and kissed my knuckles. "And I'm done pretending I don't want you."
I had read a lot about swooning in the romance novels Mom had tried to hide from me, but I'd never felt in danger of doing it until now. Which was why a snarky comment was definitely cal ed for.
"Wow, Cross. I think you missed your cal ing. Screw demon hunting: you should clearly be writing Hal mark cards."
His face broke into that crooked grin that was maybe my favorite sight in the whole world. "Shut up,"he muttered before lowering his head and kissing me again.
Chapter 17
"Why is it,"I said against his lips several moments later, "that we're always kissing in gross, dirty places like cel ars and abandoned mil s?"
He laughed, pressing kisses to my jaw, then my neck. "Next time it'l be a castle, I promise. This is England, after al . Can't be too hard to find one."
We didn't talk for a long time after that, and when we final y managed to break apart, the light in the mil was slightly brighter. "I have to go,"I said, resting my head against Archer's chest. It occurred to me that my cheek was probably right over his tattoo. Without thinking, I lifted my face and tugged at the neckline of his T-shirt. This time, the stark black-and-gold mark wasn't hidden. No need for that spel anymore, I guess. Stil , I covered it with my palm. Archer's hands clutched reflexively on my waist. Our eyes met. "It doesn't burn this time,"I whispered.
His breathing was ragged. "Beg to differ, Mercer."
Magic was rushing through me, and when Archer covered my hand with his own, there was a little blue spark. Slowly, he moved my hand off his chest, then gripped both my shoulders. I thought he was going to kiss me again-and with the way we were feeling, there was a chance we might set the whole mil on fire-but instead, he gingerly pushed me away. "Okay,"he said, closing his eyes. "If you don't go now, we're...You should go now."
Once we were several feet apart, the lust-fog cleared a little. "We stil have no idea what we're going to do."
Archer opened his eyes and took a couple of steps backward. "Right now, you're going to go back to Thorne and check in with your dad. I'm going to go back to my people and do the same. Then tomorrow night, we'l meet here. You'l stand over there"-he pointed at a corner-"and I'l stand over there"-the complete opposite corner-"and there wil be no physical contact until we've figured something out. Deal?"I smiled, even as I shoved my hands in my pockets to keep from grabbing him again. "Deal. Midnight?"
"Perfect. So."That grin again. "See ya, Mercer."
Happiness flooded through me as warm and bright as sunlight. "See ya, Cross."
The corn mil was just out of sight when reality sunk in. Now I knew that Archer wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with him, but there was a lot of major stuff standing between us. Namely, the fact that basical y everyone I knew wanted to kil him, and everyone he knew wanted to kil me. As far as obstacles went, that had to be the ultimate. And it wasn't just what other people thought. I'd gotten kind of used to the idea of being head of the Council one day, and at Thorne, I'd felt less like a freak with crazy powers, and more like...wel , someone useful. Valuable, even.
As soon as Archer and I went public, that would be gone.
I made my way through the garden maze, the tal hedges making deep shadows in front of me.
Also, there was Cal to think about.
I stumbled slightly at the thought of him. It's not like I thought he'd be heartbroken or anything; Cal and I were friends, and sure, maybe he was a little interested in me, but I think that was just a result of the betrothal. I mean, hadn't I tried to make myself crush on him just because it would be easier?
The closer I got to the house, the more my happy feelings began to deflate. The Eye was Archer's family. And, I thought as Thorne Abbey loomed above me, the Council had become mine. I wasn't wil ing to give that up. Was he?
Ugh. Why did I have to have so many thoughts? Why couldn't I just be a normal girl and bask in the glow of final y knowing that the boy I wanted wanted me back?
I slipped in the back door, and as I did, one of the maids gave me a quick curtsy. Ah, right. Because I wasn't a normal girl.
I had hoped to get back to my room without seeing anyone else, but I met Cal on the landing. Wonderful.
"Hey,"he said, taking in my disheveled appearance. "Why are you up so early?"
"Oh, I was just, you know, exercising."I jogged in place for a second before realizing that I probably looked like a mental patient.
"Okaaay,"Cal said slowly, confirming my suspicions. "Wel , I was about to go for a walk. You wanna come with?"
You couldn't actual y die from guilt, right? No matter how stabby it felt in your chest?
"I'm actual y fitnessed out,"I told him. "But can we hang later?"
"Sure,"he agreed.
As I watched him walk away, I told myself it was stupid to feel bad about Cal. It's not like he was going to be heartbroken when I cal ed off our betrothal. Pissed, maybe, but not devastated. He didn't like me like that. If he did, surely he would have made a move by now.
I walked up the rest of the stairs to my room, the house hushed around me. Opening my door, I flipped on the light and started to sigh with relief.
But the breath caught in my throat when I saw who was standing in the middle of my bedroom.
Elodie.
Wel , her ghost, obviously. She was much more translucent than she'd been at Hex Hal , and I could barely see her, but it was definitely Elodie. Her red hair waved out from her face, and she floated several inches off the ground.
I was so shocked to see her that it took me a second to realize she was trying to say something.
"What are you doing here?"I asked in a harsh whisper. I'd never heard of a ghost leaving Hecate. As far as I knew, it was impossible.
I couldn't be sure, but I thought she rol ed her eyes. A horrible thought occurred to me: "Is this about Archer? Please don't tel me you're upset about us, because...I mean, you're dead."
She floated closer to me, until she was right in my face. At first I thought she was going to spit ectoplasm on me or something, but then I saw her lips moving again. I wasn't an expert lip-reader, but she was close enough and speaking slowly enough that I was able to make out what she said. "I told you,"her pale lips mouthed, "that I'd haunt your ass."
I stared at her mouth, horrified, as she smirked. And then, just like that, she was gone. The air near my face wafted slightly, like someone had just opened a window.
"I don't need this!"I said to the empty room. "Seriously, plate? FULL."
But there was no reply.
I'd planned on getting my nap on for most of the day, but instead, I ended up spending most of it in the library, researching ghosts and demons. It was not exactly the lightest reading, and none of it did me any good.
Al the books on spirits and haunting said the same thing: ghosts are tied to the place where they died, not to people. As for Demonologies: A History, I was beginning to think it would have been better employed as a doorstop. There was nothing in there that shed any light on the Daisy/Nick situation.
I thought about asking them at dinner-quietly, and hopeful y somewhere in private-if either of them had any weird memories that might correspond to what I'd seen at Hecate, but they didn't show up in the dining room that night. I also couldn't find them the next morning, which was weird. Missing dinner was one thing, but Nick and Daisy always showed up for breakfast. No one seemed that concerned about it, though. "You know those two,"Jenna said. "They're probably off doing their weird Kurt and Courtney thing somewhere."
Stil , when they didn't turn up for dinner again, I was worried. I hovered around the hal way where their rooms were until nearly ten that night, but there was no sign of them. I was stil hanging around when Roderick found me to say that Dad was back.
"That was fast,"I said, fol owing him inside, even as my stomach started doing jumping jacks. I had to tel Dad what I'd seen at Hecate, but I didn't have a good excuse for how I'd come by that information. I'd thought I'd have a few more days to cultivate one.
By the time I crossed under the marble arch leading to Council Headquarters, my mouth was completely dry, and my knees felt wobbly.
I wanted nothing more than to flop into one of Dad's leather chairs and tel him everything. For the first time, I understood why soldiers who go on dangerous missions have to be debriefed. I wanted to get the whole story out as quickly as possible, mostly so I could erase it from my memory. I thought again of that ghoul with the mismatched features, and was suddenly afraid I might hurl al over the diamond-patterned carpet.