“The girlfriend,” I stated.
Connor nodded numbly.
“Shit.”
Aaron, the person who I least expected to do anything in this type of situation, leaned forward and placed a hand on Connor’s shoulder. “It’s not your fault, you know that, right?”
Connor shook his head. “If I would have paid more attention. If…”
Sam was eerily quiet. I looked to him and noticed that he had been sitting there crying for a while.
“It was an accident,” Sam said hoarsely. “I’ve spent too many days wishing I’d have done something, anything really.” His eyes flickered to Connor. “There was nothing you could do, man, nothing any of us could do. Sometimes life is just damn unfair.”
His hands shook as he clenched and unclenched his fingers. I narrowed my eyes as I watched another tear slide down his cheek.
His response was different than the others. It was personal, more personal than even the best friend responsible. And suddenly it dawned on me. I’d seen that look on my brother’s face before — the day I was lying in the hospital bed.
“You’re his brother.”
Sam’s head snapped to attention and then his eyes narrowed. “How’d you know?”
Honestly I had no idea how the hell I knew it, or that his face reminded me of Alec’s. I shrugged. “The way you are with her, almost as if you’re trying to be him or something. Like you owe her what he didn’t follow through on. I don’t know, maybe I’m just losing my mind, but I do know one thing. You can’t take his place, man.” I looked at him dead on. “That’s how I can tell.”
“Shit.” Sam hit his hand against the coffee table and cursed again. “I know I can’t take his place, don’t you think I know that?”
“Then what the hell are you doing?” I said it calmly. I needed him to see what he was doing. The shell of a life he was leading. I don’t even know how I knew it. I could just tell. He was miserable. He didn’t want to be in Seaside, working at the aquarium.
“She needs me.”
“You can’t save her.” Whoa. Where did that come from?
Was I suddenly being gifted with wisdom instead of jackass-ness?
Sam nodded his head and then got to his feet and slowly walked to the couch where Connor sat.
“I’m sorry, man.” Connor shook his head. I’d never seen a guy cry like that before. Sobs wracked his body. I wasn’t one for man love, but I couldn’t just let him sit there. So I sat next to him on the couch and patted his back while Sam sat next to him and cried as well.
I wasn’t sure if this meant I was the worst group facilitator in the world or the best. I felt raw, upset, so many things. I didn’t even want to acknowledge my own feelings, because if I did I’d realize what a complete ass I’d been for the last two years.
People were hurting in this world.
Yes. I’ve had my fair share. But at least I had family to help me get over it. I had Alec and Nat. I was able to power through, finally.
But these people. Their cuts were still wide open for the world to see. Alyssa especially, and a part of me realized that it would take a lot more than group therapy to help the girl.
I steered the conversation toward our next meeting and walked everyone out. Sam and Connor both stopped in front of me.
Both of them had ghosts of a smile on their faces.
“Thanks, man.” Connor pulled me into a hug and slapped my back.
“No problem.” I coughed.
Sam shook his head. “Of all the people to work through this shit with us…”
I rolled my eyes. “I know, I know. I’m probably the worst.”
Sam swallowed and looked down at the ground. “No, um, I was going to say you’re probably the best.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“Are you hitting on me?” I joked.
Sam rolled his eyes. “And there he is, Demetri Daniels, certified man-whore. We’ll see you later, man.”
“Wait, you don’t want my number?” I smirked, this time I was serious.
The guys laughed and we traded numbers before I shut the door behind them.
Chapter Thirteen
Alyssa
I ran as fast as I could, but the nightmare just kept catching up to me. I saw blood, too much blood.
Sweat poured down my face as my feet pumped against the concrete. Tears mixed with sweat trickled down my lips as I gasped for air. My side hurt, my legs hurt, everything hurt, especially my heart.
Finally, after an hour of running up and down the boardwalk, I found myself at the Aquarium.
It was tourist season, so it was still open.
I walked in and found Sally right away.
Memories of Brady feeding the seals rushed back to me.
“You have to be careful, Alyssa, don’t want the seals biting your hand off.”
I rolled my eyes. “Brady, I’m fine, just give me the fish.”
“Say please.”
“No.”
“What?” He laughed, his blue eyes sparkling. “Did you just say no?”
I nodded my head and stuck out my tongue. “I will not apologize, now give me the fish.”
“At least pay the toll.”
“Fine.” I stepped forward and kissed him on the lips.
Sally chose that exact moment to splash both of us.
Brady laughed and lifted me up so he was bracing me against the wall. “I kind of like you, you know that, right?”