His story explained a lot. Why he was so distant, so protective. So in control of everything in his world.
“Thanks for telling me,” I said.
“Well, it’s not every day a girl cries over a little boy she didn’t even know.”
“I’m crying for you too, Alec.”
He shuddered. “Thanks, Nat. That means more to me than you’ll ever know.” His lips found my forehead in a chaste kiss. “Now, get some sleep before my jerk of a brother wakes up and tries to break the door down.”
“Okay.” I wanted him to stay with me so badly. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms, his breath mingled with mine. He was like a drug, an addiction I was slowly needing more and more of.
Each of the brothers had their demons. Which left me to wonder where I fit in the picture. It made all my insecurities flare to life. What the heck were they doing even paying attention to me? I was nothing — nobody. My own parents seemed uninterested in me. It was nice to have people care about me, even if they were confused rock stars, but I couldn’t help but wonder if I was somehow stepping out onto a ledge without any way to escape except jumping.
The last picture in my head before my eyes grew heavy was of a little boy with bright blue eyes, a little boy who looked like Alec.
Chapter Ten
I woke to the smell of fresh coffee.
With my eyes still closed I moaned and stretched across the pillows.
“You have no idea how much you affect me when you do that,” Demetri said.
My eyes flashed open.
He looked like a truck ran over him.
He hadn’t showered or done anything. Purple and blue bruises decorated the side of his eye and his cheekbone.
I hadn’t realized Alec hit him so hard. Immediately my eyes went to the floor. “He’s downstairs making breakfast. He said he’d give me some time to talk to you but that if I make you cry I have to drown myself in the ocean.”
I nodded. “I agree to those terms.”
“Ouch.” Demetri chuckled and looked away. “I don’t even know what to say, Nat. Sorry just seems lame. I’m an ass sounds a little better, but I just don’t know what to say.”
He plopped down onto the bed and ran his hands through his messy blonde hair. “I really like you. I’ve never liked a girl as much as I like you. I meant everything I said last night. I want to be with you.”
“And every other girl at Seaside,” I added, suddenly feeling the hurt and betrayal of last night wash over me.
“No!” He grasped my hands and kissed them. “You don’t understand. I only want you. I know I seem like a screw up, and that’s because I am. I can’t believe I’m saying this. I think you’re the forever girl. The one you bring home to your parents, the one you spend Christmas with, the one you have children with. You’re that girl, Nat.”
“I don’t know how to respond to that.”
Demetri sighed. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, Nat. What I did was childish and stupid. I got drunk at a party and made out with a complete stranger just because she was in front of me. I don’t even remember who it was. I only know she had blonde hair. I really did think she was you, but when I noticed she wasn’t, I was too drunk too care.”
“Well, at least you’re honest.”
“Honesty sucks.” He exhaled and looked away. “Nat, I want to be with you. Let me earn your trust again. Let me be the guy I’ve always wanted to be. I want to be that guy for you.”
Having a guy say that was like crack for a girl. “I can’t save you, Demetri.”
“I don’t want you to. I just want you by my side as inspiration when I save myself.”
Crap.
I felt my guard crumbling as his blue eyes glazed over with unshed tears. “Please, Nat.”
Demetri reached out and cupped my chin. His touch was warm, gentle, not at all like last night. Desire flared in his eyes, so different from Alec.
I would never have Alec.
But Demetri. He needed me, and part of me craved that feeling. To be needed, wanted. I’d never experienced anything like it before. My parents loved me, but they functioned apart from me.
“Help me be better. I need you in my life, Nat. You’re like my sunshine, my air. I can’t explain it, I just know I’m lost without you.” He kissed my cheek.
“Don’t make me regret this, Demetri.”
A smile spread across his face. “Really?”
I nodded.
“Do you want breakfast?” He pushed away from the bed.
“I’m starving.”
Demetri chuckled and pushed the covers back, lifting me into his arms. “I bet you are. Though a little bird told me you ate quite a bit of Swedish fish last night.”
“I’m going to kill Alec!” I yelled.
Demetri threw his head back and laughed. “I should have warned you how he plays Go Fish.”
“He’s an animal!” I yelled as Demetri carried me down the stairs. I rolled my eyes towards the ceiling. Really, it wasn’t as if I was on my death bed or something, but I had to admit, it was kind of nice to be in his arms.
Though my treacherous body couldn’t help but remind me that it was Alec’s arms that had rescued me last night. I gulped.
“Heard that!” Alec fired back from the kitchen.
I smiled, and then my heart dropped to my knees. What was I doing? I looked at Demetri, his blinding smile was for me, only me. But what about Alec? Was I imagining a connection with us?