“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Natalee, Sweetie, I didn’t know.”
I got up and tried to ignore the feeling of guilt and anger that washed over me. “What are you talking about?”
“I thought you were happy. If I would have known you wanted more, Honey, I would have given it to you. You’re just always so closed off I thought you didn’t need me, or anyone for that matter.”
A sob erupted from my throat before I could stop it. I fell to my knees on the floor, my body violently shook from years of grief kept inside.
“Oh, Honey!” Mom swept down next to me and pulled me into her lap, rocking me back and forth like she did when I was little. “I’m so sorry! Can you forgive me? Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry!”
I nodded, but the tears wouldn’t stop. Geez, you’d think someone really was dying.
By the time I stopped crying it was near midnight. We made a late night pizza and put on a movie. Just my mom and me. She promised she would try harder as long as I didn’t push her away and put on the I’m fine and independent face. My dad wasn’t due home tonight because of a late surgery, but mom promised she would talk to him when she could.
I went to sleep for the first time in years feeling like my parents cared, that they actually saw me. No longer was I invisible, and even though the rejection from both Alec and Demetri hurt, I felt confident. For the first time I was confident.
Apparently having a parent show affection did something to a person, because when I closed my eyes after crying all those tears and severely dehydrating myself, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
****
My alarm was so loud I nearly had a heart attack when it went off. My legs were tangled in the sheets and I hadn’t slept very well, considering I kept dreaming that Alec was in a car trying to run me over with it while Demetri stood by laughing.
I forced myself to expel their images from my mind, which of course meant that when I drove to school every radio station in the known universe was playing their songs. I flipped off the radio then passed a store that just happened to have their faces splashed across the windows.
Basically, I was ready to scream by the time I arrived at the school. I slammed my truck door and marched through the front doors, only to be met by mocking stares and smirks from the student body. Does nobody read anymore?
Alesha was by my locker. “Oh, my gosh, Nat! I’m so sorry about Demetri, do you need anything?” She touched my arm. I flinched.
“Nope, I’m fine. We’re fine,” I said through clenched teeth even though he still hadn’t texted me back or answered my frantic calls. “It’s just celebrity gossip, you know how that goes.”
She nodded her head. “Yeah, of course. Well okay, I’m gonna go to class.”
Did I mention that I can’t lie to save my life?
I opened my locker and briefly contemplated attempting to climb into it, but it was twenty sizes too small, meaning I would have to become a contortionist in order to pull it off, and even then it would be uncomfortable. The bell rang. With a moan I put my head inside the locker, cursing all men for their inability to keep it in their pants and communicate like normal humans.
“Rough night?” Alec said behind me.
I flipped around so fast that my face came into contact with the metal door. It caught my lip, don’t ask me how. “Ouch!”
“Damn it, Nat! Could you try not to trip or hurt yourself at least once?”
I glared as I patted my lip, blood trickling down my finger, “Yeah, because I like being hurt and making a complete fool out of myself.”
Whoa, double meaning.
We both stood there glaring at one another. Finally, Alec rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the women’s restroom.
“Alec, what are you—”
He pushed through the doors dragging me behind him. “Everyone decent?”
No answer.
He kicked open all the stall doors then went to the sink and wet a paper towel.
“Alec, you can’t just—”
“Stop. Talking.” He held up the paper towel to my cut. I flinched from the sting of the water hitting the open wound and tried to pull back, but his grip on my chin kept me firmly in place. “What am I going to do with you, Nat?”
“Is that a rhetorical question,” I mumbled as he wiped away the blood.
“Not anymore.” He shook his head, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips.
“I don’t know.” I sighed. “But I’m going to be late for class.”
“I got it.”
“You got it?” I lifted an eyebrow. “As in, you got the teacher in your pocket, or you’re going to tell them I got in a fight with the locker and lost?”
“Just don’t worry about it.”
“Good to know you’re still as confusing as ever.”
“Why, Nat, was that a compliment?”
My teeth clenched.
He chuckled and threw the paper towel away. “All better. Come on.”
And again I was getting dragged through the hallways like a little kid on her first day of school. We reached my class and Alec literally pushed me through the door.
Every head in the classroom turned in our direction.
“I’ll be sitting in on this one, Mr. Smith,” Alec said, guiding me to the back of the room toward two empty seats.
“I don’t need a babysitter,” I snapped once we took our seats.