But it wasn’t his fault, I remembered a second later. He said he can’t use all his powers where he is. Someone else has taken them.
This time I froze for real as a chill raced up my spine that left me shivering.
Are these not really dreams? I wondered. They were so real, after all, and so weird. When did a dream man tell you he couldn’t do what he could in real life? And why was my dream Anyan so sad?
I mean, if I were just making this shit up, surely my mind would make everything lovely and hunky-dory, right? We’d be boning in a field of Oreos or something, cut through by a river of cold milk. The Oreos could dunk themselves first in the river, then feed themselves to me as I came. Now that’s a fantasy. My dreams with Anyan didn’t feel like that. They felt … real.
But maybe I wasn’t trying to escape the pain, but work through it. Maybe that’s why Anyan was so sad, and seemed so trapped…
More memories rushed in. Anyan’s worry about being overheard. His talking about how ‘he’ would hear us.
It’s too weird, I thought. I need to talk about this to someone…
So I did what I should have done the first time I’d dreamed of Anyan. I picked up my little Bat Phone to the creature and waited for it to respond.
[Jane?] the creature asked, itself a little dreamy. While I was resting, I knew it spent its time scanning the world through the eyes of susceptible humans.
I need your help, I thought at it. I’ve been having dreams about Anyan. But I’m not sure they’re really dreams.
The creature’s presence sort of buzzed in my mind, as if it were thinking. [Do you think he’s communicating with you?]
I shrugged my shoulders, an unnecessary gesture as the creature could feel my confusion. I have no idea. They feel like dreams, to be honest. But they’re so strange. And there’s you.
[Me?]
Well, you’re the only other person I know who has a body that is trapped, you know, but your mind is free … maybe Anyan can do what you do, and sort of surf.
[I doubt it, Jane. Anyan isn’t like me, and his powers can’t be like mine. But who knows what happened to him when the White took over his body?]
Can you do something to check? To find out if the dreams are real?
Again, the creature presence buzzed in thought. [I think I might have a way, but it will involve you giving me free access to your mind. Is that all right?]
I nodded immediately. If Anyan really was able to communicate with me, even imperfectly in dreams, that fact could be a total game changer.
The creature, feeling my acquiescence, took over. Suddenly, I was pushed firmly, if gently, to one corner of my own brain. It felt incredibly strange. I tried to move my arms and legs, but I knew I remained lying perfectly still. I could still feel, sort of, but not control.
It was an odd sensation, and very unpleasant. I thought about poor Anyan, totally pushed aside in his own brain, and I shuddered. I also wondered why the creature didn’t just take me over, full stop, before remembering how weakened the White was by having an unwilling host.
Although there were times when I’m not sure I’d altogether mind being taken over. Being a champion was tiring.
Meanwhile, the creature was busy. Its mental buzzing kept increasing as if it were growing excited.
Are you finding something? I asked, and the creature somehow sent a vibe of both acknowledgment and a command to be patient. It was very good at communicating mentally.
So I did the equivalent of twiddling my thumbs as the creature rifled through my brain. I seriously doubted I had any secrets from it to begin with, but I certainly wouldn’t after this…
[There it is,] the creature said, a note of marvel in its voice. [What a clever man is your barghest.]
I felt absurdly proud, even as I demanded an answer. What did you find?
[Just as I thought, he’s not communicating with you. Even with the White’s power, he wouldn’t be capable of that.]
Disappointment flushed through my system. But I thought you said…
[Patience,] the creature said, chuckling. [He’s not communicating with you; you’ve managed to find him.]
Me?
[Yes. You piggybacked on my own ability to reach out mentally. Obviously unintentionally. But while you were dreaming, you must have been searching for him, using my abilities. I’m a part of you in a lot of ways now, Jane, both through the power of the champion and through our time together, so close, over the past months.]
Wow, I thought, nonplussed. I did that?
[It makes sense. You miss Anyan. You love him. Your mind may know he’s gone, but your heart doesn’t. So it took advantage of the tools it could find when you were sleeping and your doubting mind was turned off.]
But how did I find him?
[You’re right that he is a bit like me. He is trapped, and he does have a lot of power. I think he felt you. I think for him, he’s probably constantly in a state that’s a bit like dreaming. So once he realized you were looking for him, he made himself a beacon for you.]
So the dreams are real? I asked.
[Yes. They’re real.]
I wept then, like a baby. Huge, tearing sobs that nearly choked me. I was making so much noise that I wasn’t at all surprised when my door was flung open to reveal Ryu.
‘Another dream?’ he asked, rushing to my side.
‘No,’ I told him. Then I shook my head. ‘Yes.’ And then I started laughing hysterically before I got out of bed, not caring that I was wearing only a long T-shirt and panties, to do a triumphant dance, whooping like a drunk at Mardi Gras.
‘Um, Jane, what happened? Are you all right?’ Poor Ryu probably thought I had been drinking.
Grinning at him like a maniac, I finally stopped my little dance.
‘I’m more than all right, Ryu. I’m fabulous. Anyan’s alive.’ And then with that, I started crying again.
Obviously completely confused and perhaps fearing for my sanity, Ryu took my hands, urging me to sit down next to him.
‘You’re not making any sense, Jane. You need to calm down and tell me what happened.’
So I did.
‘I’ve been having these dreams. I thought they were just that, dreams. But they were really weird. Basically, I’d meet up with Anyan in this hut and we’d, um … we’d do things.’ I flushed red with embarrassment, not least because it was awkward telling your ex-lover about dream sex with your current beau. Especially when he was a dragon.
‘Anyway, we’d also talk, and that’s the part that was weird. He was always really sad and cryptic, worrying about someone watching or listening to us. So I had the creature check it out.’
‘And?’ Ryu said.
‘And they weren’t just dreams, they were real. I was using the creature’s power to reach out to him, without knowing. And Anyan knew that, and helped me find him.’
‘Holy shit,’ Ryu said, as blown away by this knowledge as I was. ‘That’s huge.’
‘I know,’ I said, a fresh barrage of tears flooding my eyes.
‘This changes everything.’
I nodded.
‘Maybe we can use this,’ Ryu said, already starting to strategize like the baobhan sith I knew so well.
And he was right. Knowing Anyan and I could somehow communicate might turn out to be a vital weapon.
But for me it was way bigger than that. I now knew, beyond a doubt, that Anyan was alive inside the White. He was alive, and he wanted out.
And I was ready to move heaven and earth to make it so.
Chapter Twelve
Using Daniel’s resources, we were back in Rockabill at the end of the next day. The creature was still recovering from its apparition of the Red from Hong Kong. Meanwhile, the White’s bones came with us, packed in a body bag. Everyone flipped out when Ryu and I walked into Anyan’s with it, until we explained what the ominous black bag contained.
Also upon landing, I’d told my friends about my dreams, and how they weren’t really dreams. I tried to be subtle about their erotic nature, so that my dad wouldn’t be party to hearing about his daughter’s mind-sex with her dragon-lover, but I don’t think it was very subtle. Especially since Grizzie was hooting with laughter and making dirty gestures with her fingers. Everyone else listened with considered interest, reacting with various levels of excitement when I ended my talk by telling them what it meant – that Anyan was alive and well somewhere in the White.
Iris and Tracy cried with me, while Grizzie only just managed to hold back tears by complaining that she never got any ‘dream bonkin’.’ Caleb and Daoud also seemed pleased, as did Gog and Magog, even if they weren’t as demonstrative.
My dad, after assiduously ignoring Grizzie’s off-color remarks, gave me the kind of hug that dads excel at. The kind that told me all he wanted on this earth was my happiness, and that he would do all he could to help me along the way.
It was a good hug, and I told him I loved him.
Overcome by emotion, Amy the nahual waitress, who just happened to be at Anyan’s after dropping off some food, offered to go home to get some weed to celebrate, but we refused her generous offer.
We were ready to get to work.
But first I needed a swim, to recharge my power. The creature might be lending me tons, but part of what it had done was allow me to hold more of my own water magic. So I took a quick swim, after which I grabbed some of the food Amy had brought over (priorities!), knowing that Caleb was already getting down to work. When I was ready, we all sat down to listen to his report.