I was lying on top of Loren in a delicious fog of sensation. His hand caressed a long sweep down my back, stroking over and over the line of my tattoos.
"Your tattoos are exquisite. Like you," Loren said.
I sighed happily and nuzzled against him. Turning my head, I was mesmerized by our reflection in the floor-to-ceiling studio mirrors. We were naked and there were smudges of blood on both of our bodies, which were twined together intimately, my long black hair only partially covering us. The filigree of my tattoos looked exotic stretching from my face and neck down along the line of my curving spine to my lower back. The thin film of sweat on my body made them glisten like sapphires.
Loren was right. I was exquisite. And he'd been right about us. It didn't matter that he was older and a full-grown vampyre (and a professor at my school). What we had together went beyond all of that. What we had was really special. More special than what I felt for Erik. Even more special than Heath. Heath...
The sleepy, satisfied feeling left me like someone had splashed cold water on my skin. My gaze went from our reflection to Loren's face. He was watching me with a slight smile curving the corners of his lips. God, he was so dang gorgeous I couldn't believe he was mine. Then I mentally shook myself, and asked the question I had to have answered. "Loren, is really true that my Imprint with Heath is broken?"
"Yes, it's really true," he said. "You and I have Imprinted, and that severed your link with the human boy."
"But I read the Vamp Soc book, and it only talked about how painful and hard it is to break an Imprint between a vampyre and a human. I don't understand how it could have happened so easily, and it didn't say anything about one Imprint breaking another."
His slight smile spread and he gave me a sweet, soft kiss. "You'll learn that there's a lot the textbooks don't teach about being a vampyre."
That made me feel young and stupid and more than a little embarrassed, which he instantly picked up on.
"Hey, I didn't mean anything. I remember how confusing it was not to really understand what it is you're Changing into. It's okay. It happens to all of us. And now you have me to help you."
"I just don't like not knowing," I said, relaxing again in his arms.
"I know. So here's the deal with breaking that Imprint. You and the human did have a bond, but you're not a vampyre. You haven't completed your Change." He paused and then added a firm "Yet. So it wasn't a full-blown Imprint. When you and I shared our blood, that bonding overwhelmed the lesser one." His smile turned sexy. "Because I am a vampyre."
"Did it hurt Heath?"
Loren shrugged. "Probably, but the pain doesn't last. And in the long run it's better this way. The entire vampyre world will be open to you very soon, Zoey. You will be an extraordinary High Priestess. There won't be a place for a human in that world."
"I know you're right," I said, trying to sort through everything in my mind and remembering how sure I'd been earlier that night that I had to break up with Heath. It was really a good thing that my being with Loren had broken the Imprint with Heath. It was easier this way-for both of us. Another thought had me saying, "It's a good thing that I wasn't Imprinted with you and Heath at the same time."
"That would be impossible. Nyx had made it so that we Imprint singly. I suppose it's to keep us from making an army of Imprinted human minions."
I was startled as much by the sarcastic tone of his voice as by what he'd just said. "I would never have thought about doing that," I said.
Loren laughed softly. "There are many vamps who would."
"Would you?"
"Of course not." He kissed me again and added, "Besides, I'm more than happy with our Imprint. I don't need any others."
His words thrilled me. He was mine and I was his! Then Erik's face swam before my eyes and the thrill faded.
"What is it?" he said.
"Erik," I whispered.
"You belong to me!" Loren's voice was rough, as were his lips as he kissed me possessively, making my blood pound.
"Yes" was all I could say when the kiss was over. He was like a tidal wave I couldn't stand against, and I let him sweep Erik away from me. "I do belong to you."
Loren's arms tightened around me, and then he lifted me gently and shifted his body so that he could look into my eyes. "Can you tell me now?"
"Tell you what?" Even though I asked the question I thought I knew what it was he wanted to hear.
"Tell me what it is that upset you so badly."
Ignoring the sudden clenching of my stomach I made my decision. After what had just happened between us, I had to trust Loren.
"Stevie Rae didn't die. At least not like what we think of as dying. She's alive, even though she's different. And she's not the only fledgling to survive a supposed death. There's a bunch of them, but they're not like her. Stevie Rae has managed to keep a hold on her humanity. They haven't." I felt his body tense and half expected him to tell me I was nuts, but all he said was, "What do you mean?
Explain everything to me, Zoey."
So I did. I told Loren everything-from the "ghosts" I'd seen to the fact that they weren't really ghosts, to the awfulness of the undead dead kids killing the Union football players, and then how I saved Heath. Finally, I told him about Stevie Rae. All about her.
"So she's waiting at Aphrodite's garage apartment right now?" he said. I nodded. "Yeah, she needs blood every day. The hold she has on her humanity isn't very good. If she doesn't get blood, I'm afraid she'll become like the rest of them." I shivered and his arm tightened around me.
"They're that bad?" he said.
"You can't imagine. They're not human and they're not vampyre. It's like they've turned into all the stereotypes that are most horrible about vamps and humans. They're soulless, Loren." I searched his eyes. "And too far gone to fix, but Stevie Rae's affinity for the earth has made it possible for her to keep some of her soul, even if she's not whole. I really think I can do something for Stevie Rae."
"You do?"
The thought flitted through my mind that it was kinda weird that he sounded shocked about me healing Stevie Rae but that he'd had no problem accepting the fact that undead dead kids existed.
"Well, yeah. I might be way wrong, but I believe I just need to use the powers of the elements. You know," I paused and shifted my weight, wondering if I was getting heavy, "I have that whole special connection with the five elements. I'm guessing that I just need to use it."
"It might work. But you should keep in mind that you're invoking powerful magic, and there's always a cost associated with that." He spoke slowly, like he was considering what he said carefully before he said it (unlike how I usually blurted stuff and then was sorry or embarrassed later). "Zoey, how did this terrible thing happen to Stevie Rae and the other fledglings? Who or what is responsible for it?" I started to say Neferet when Don't speak her name slammed into my gut. Okay, the words themselves didn't hit me, but I knew what was all of a sudden making me feel like I was gonna puke. And then I realized with a small start of surprise that I hadn't actually admitted everything to Loren. In my telling of the night when I'd rescued Heath from the undead-dead kids and first found Stevie Rae, I'd left out any mention of Neferet. I hadn't thought about it. I hadn't done it on purpose, but there was a whole piece of the story puzzle that I'd failed to put together for him.
Nyx. It had to be the Goddess working through my subconscious. She didn't want Loren to know anything about Neferet. Was she trying to protect him? Probably...
"Zoey, what's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing. I'm just thinking. No," I kinda stuttered, "I-I don't know how it happened, but I wish I did. I wish I could figure it out," I added hastily.
"Stevie Rae doesn't know?"
Warning bells rang in my stomach again. "She's not really communicating very well right now. Why? Have you ever heard of anything like this happening before?"
"No, nothing like this." He ran a soothing hand down my back. "I just thought if you knew how it happened, that might help you to fix it."
I looked into his eyes, wishing the sick feeling in my stomach would go away. "You can't tell anyone about this, Loren. Not anyone, not even Neferet." I tried to be all High Priestessy and firm, but my voice shook and broke.
"You don't need to worry, love! Of course I won't tell anyone." Loren held me close and stroked my back.
"But who else knows besides you and me?"
"No one." The lie was so automatic it shocked me.
"What about Aphrodite? You said you're using her garage apartment to hide Stevie Rae, right?"
"Aphrodite doesn't know. I heard her talking to some kids about her parents being gone for the rest of the winter. She was saying that they should use the garage apartment to party, but, well, everyone's pretty pissed at Aphrodite, so no one took her up on it. That's how I knew the apartment was empty, so I snuck Stevie Rae up there." I hadn't consciously meant not to tell him about Aphrodite, but it seemed my mouth had already made that decision for me. I mentally crossed my fingers, hoping that he couldn't tell I was lying.
"Okay, that's probably for the best. Zoey, you said Stevie Rae's not herself, and can't communicate very well. How do you talk to her?"
"Well, she can talk, but she's confused and ... and ..." I floundered around trying to figure out how to explain it without giving more away than I should, "and sometimes more animal-like than human," I said inanely. "I just saw her earlier tonight before Neferet's ritual"
I could feel him nod. "That's where you were coming from."
"Yeah." I decided not to mention Heath. Just thinking about him made me feel guilty. Our Imprint was gone, but instead of being relieved I was weirdly hollow.
"But how do you know she's still at Aphrodite's apartment and okay right now?" Distracted, I said, "Huh? Oh, I gave her a cell phone. I can call or text her. I just checked in with her a little while ago." I motioned to my cell phone, which had fallen out of the pocket of my dress and was lying beside it on the floor next to our pallet. Then I shook Heath from my mind and focused on my more immediate problem. "I might need to ask for your help."
"Ask me anything," he said, gently brushing my hair back out of my face.
"I'm going to need to either get Stevie Rae in here to the school, or get the gang and me out there to her."
"The gang?"
"You know, Damien and the Twins and Aphrodite, so we can cast a circle. I have a feeling I'll need the added strength they bring to their elements to help Stevie Rae."
"But you said they don't know about Stevie Rae," he said.
"They don't. I'll have to tell them, but I'm going to wait till right before I try the fixing of Stevie Rae thingie." God, what a moronic thing to call it. I sighed and shook my head. "I'm definitely not looking forward to telling them, though," I said miserably, meaning the Stevie Rae thingie and how pissed my friends were going to be that I'd been keeping important stuff from them.
"So are you and Aphrodite really friends?"
Loren asked the question in an off-hand way, with a smile and a tug on one long strand of my hair, but like with Heath, our Imprint linked us and I could feel the tension hidden inside him. He cared a lot more about my answer than he was letting on. That worried me, and not just because my gut was cramping up again and warning me to keep my mouth shut.
So I tried to match his "whatever" tone. "Nah, Aphrodite is awful. It's just that for some reason-totally not understood by Damien and the Twins and me-Nyx has given her an affinity for earth. The circle doesn't work as well without her, so kinda by default she's in. It's not like we're hanging out or anything like that."
"Good. From what I've heard Aphrodite has some major problems. You shouldn't trust her."
"I don't." And as I said it I realized that I actually did trust Aphrodite. Maybe even more than I trusted Loren, who I'd just lost my virginity to and with whom I'd just Imprinted. Great. Just my luck.
"Hey, relax. I can tell talking about this has upset you." Loren caressed my cheek and I automatically leaned into his hand. Whenever he touched me it just felt so amazing. "I'm here now. We'll figure this out. Take it one step at a time."
I wanted to remind him that Stevie Rae really didn't have much time, but his lips were on mine again and all I could think about was how good he felt against my body... that I could feel his pulse speeding up ... that my heart was beating in time with his. Our kisses deepened and his hands moved down my body. I rocked against him, thinking about heat and blood and nothing but Loren ... Loren ... LorenA weird choking noise broke through the haze of heat that was engulfing me. Dreamily, I turned my head as Loren trailed kisses down my naked throat, and a jolt of horror shocked through my body. Erik was standing in the doorway with a look of utter disbelief on his newly Marked face.
"Erik, I-" I lunged forward, grabbing at my dress and trying to cover myself with it. As it turned out, I didn't need to worry about Erik seeing me naked. With one quick motion, Loren moved me behind him, shielding me with his body.
"You're interrupting." Loren's beautiful voice was dark with barely suppressed violence. The power in it pressed against my bare skin, making me gasp with surprise.
"Yeah, I can see that," Erik said. Without another word he turned and walked out.
"Ohmygod! Ohmygod! I can't believe that just happened!" I put my burning face in my hands. Loren's arms were back around me and his voice was as soothing as his touch. "Baby, it's okay. He's was going to have to know about us some time anyway."
"But not like this," I cried. "Erik finding out like this is too awful for words." I lifted my face to look at him.
"And now everyone will know. That can't be okay, Loren! You're a teacher and I'm a fledgling. Aren't there rules against that? Not to mention that we've Imprinted." Then another terrible thought hit me and I started to shake. What if I was kicked out of the Dark Daughters for being with Loren?
"Zoey, love, listen to me." Loren put his hands on my shoulders and shook me gently. "Erik won't say anything to anyone."
"Yeah, he will! You saw the look on his face. No way is he going to keep a secret for me." No way was he going to do anything for me, ever again.
"He'll keep his mouth shut because I'll tell him to keep it shut." Loren's concerned expression had shifted, and suddenly he looked as dangerous as he had sounded when he'd told Erik he was interrupting us. I felt a prickle of fear, and I began to wonder if there might be more to Loren than what he was showing me.
"Don't hurt him," I whispered, ignoring the tears that washed my cheeks.
"Ah, baby, don't worry. I won't hurt him. I'll just have a little talk with him." He took me into his arms, and even though my body, my heartbeat, the very essence within me wanted to be close to him, I forced myself to pull away. "I have to go," I said.
"Yeah, okay. I should go, too."
As he handed me my clothes and we dressed, I told myself that he was only hurrying away from me because he needed to find Erik, but thinking about being separated from Loren made my stomach feel like a pit with nasty black stuff boiling around in it. The cut over my breast where he'd tasted my blood stung. And besides that, my body was sore in private places it'd never, ever been sore before. I glanced at the wall of mirrors. My eyes were puffy and red. My face was blotchy and my nose was pink. My hair was a nappy mess. I looked like hell, which wasn't surprising, because I felt like hell.
Loren took my hand and we walked through the empty rec hall. At the door he kissed me again before opening it.
"You look tired," he said.
"I am." I glanced at the rec hall clock, shocked to see that it was only two thirty in the morning. It seemed like several nights had passed in the space of just a couple hours.
"Go to bed, love," he said. "We'll be together again tomorrow."
"How? When?"
He smiled and caressed my cheek, tracing the path of my tattoo. "Don't worry. We won't be apart long. I'll come to you after both of us get some sleep." His touch was warm against my skin. Of its own will, my body leaned toward him as his fingers traced their way intimately down the curve of my neck while he recited:
"I arise from dreams of thee
In the first sweet sleep of night,
When the winds are breathing low,
And the stars are shining bright
I arise from dreams of thee,
And a spirit in my feet
Has led me-who knows how?To thy chamber-window, sweet!"
His touch made me tremble and his words made my heart speed up and my head dizzy. "Did you write that?" I whispered as he kissed my neck.
"No, Shelley did. Hard to believe he wasn't a vampyre, isn't it?"
"Uh-huh," I said, not really listening.
Loren chuckled and hugged me. "I'll come to you tomorrow. I promise." We walked out together, but separated soon as he headed in the direction of the boys' dorm and I walked slowly toward my own dorm. There weren't many fledglings or vamps around, and I was glad. I didn't want to run into anyone just then. It was a dark, cloudy night and the old-time gaslights hardly touched the darkness around me. I didn't mind, though. I wanted to be covered in night. It somehow soothed the rawness in my nerves that being physically separated from Loren caused.
I wasn't a virgin anymore.
The fact hit me with a weird zing. Things had happened so fast I hadn't really had time to think about it, but I'd done it. Man, I needed to talk to Stevie Rae-even the undead version of Stevie Rae would want to hear about this. Did I look different? No, that was stupid. Everyone knew you couldn't tell by just looking at someone. Or not usually. Well, I'm not exactly a normal teenager (as if there really is such a thing). I better take a good long look in the mirror when I got back to my room.
I'd just turned up the sidewalk that went to the front of my dorm, and was readying myself for what I was going to say to my friends, who were probably hanging out watching movies or whatnot. I couldn't tell them about Loren and me, of course, but I did need to make up a story about breaking up with Erik. Or maybe I didn't. Loren was going to talk to him, so Erik probably wouldn't say much of anything to anyone. I could just say we had to break up because of his Change, and leave it at that. No one would be surprised that I'd be too upset to talk about it. Yeah, that's what I'd do.
Suddenly one of the shadows under a good-smelling cedar tree shifted and then stepped in front of me.
"Why, Zoey?" Erik said.