Finally it becomes too much and I pull back, shaking from head to toe as horrid feelings race through me.
“What’s wrong?” Asher says, his eyes a little glazed as he searches mine.
“It’s nothing.” My voice trembles and I take a deep breath before I say something that makes me hate myself. “I just don’t feel very well.” I motion at the wings on my back, feeling tears of guilt sting at my eyes.
He stares at me with suspicion, almost like he knows I’m full of shit, but it quickly evaporates and sympathy takes its place. “That’s completely understandable, considering what you’re going through.”
Tears stream from my eyes. I’m not even sure why I’m crying, whether it’s from guilt because I really want to kiss him, or because I didn’t get to drink his life.
“Hey.” He rushes for me and places my face between his hands. “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”
I suck back the tears, but they keep fighting their way out. “How do you know it will, though? Because, right now, everything feels incredibly wrong.”
“I know it does.” His eyes are full of warmth and compassion. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll make sure everything is okay.”
I nod, feeling the guilt build, like bricks, and crush me from the inside. “Thank you.”
“You don’t ever need to thank me,” he says with sincerity and then leans in to give me a quick kiss on the lips before pulling away. “Now, how about I show you how to put your wings away and then we’ll work on flying.”
“And where will we go if I can fly?” I ask. “I thought you said I was safe here.”
“You are.” He shrugs. “But maybe we’ll fly to New York if we half to.” He gives me a sad half-smile. “The possibilities are endless really, but I want to make sure you’re prepared just in case something happens.”
I nod, a little relieved. Not just because of what he said, but that I managed to pull myself away from my Reaper side and not kill Asher. Yet I can’t help wonder how long I can fight it. How long do I honestly have until my true side comes out?
And which side will be my true side?