He complies, grins again, then leaves, mentally counting his tips from all the deliveries he’s making to me, I’m sure.
“This is crazy,” I mutter as I press my nose against one of the soft blooms.
“Read the card,” Kat says with a grin. All of the girls have come to love his cards, most likely because of the sweet way he has with words.
No wonder he’s won Grammys for the songs he’s written.
A—
These smell the best, and when I touch them, they remind me of the softness of your sweet skin. I don’t know how many there are, I told them to just send them all. I miss you, so much.
—J
I simply rest my head on the bar, right against the wood, and let the tears come.
“I have to tell him to stop,” I cry. “I can’t do this anymore, Kat. I just can’t. You were right: the more I hear from him, the more it hurts.”
“Wow, Jake,” I hear from behind me. I quickly wipe my cheeks and turn to find Christina gaping at the display of white roses. “He might have gone a little crazy with this one.”
I nod, mortified that she heard my crying. The only thing worse would be if Jake himself heard me.
And I’ll be damned if that ever happens.
“What can I do for you, Christina?”
“I was hoping that you’d have time for me to take you to lunch. I’d really love to chat with you.”
“I don’t really—”
“Sure you do,” Kat says with an innocent smile. “Go ahead and go.”
I glare at her, then turn back to Christina. “So, here’s the thing. I’d love to chat with you, but I don’t want to talk about Jake.”
“Perfect.” She smiles and leads me out into the sunny Portland afternoon. “Actually, do you mind if we just walk down to the park?”
“Works for me.”
We walk in silence. I didn’t realize how nice it would be to be out in the fresh air. It feels good.
“How’s Kevin? It was good to see you guys the other night,” I begin, breaking the silence.
“We both know that’s bullshit,” Christina replies with a kind smile. “Seeing us was salt to an open wound, and I’m sorry for that.”
I shrug. “It is what it is. You’re always welcome in my restaurant, and I’d like it if you came often. I like both of you very much.”
“We like you too.” Christina clears her throat. “Jake says that you still haven’t contacted him.”
“No.” I shake my head. “And I don’t plan to. His efforts are flattering, but I’m just trying to move on.”
“So, you don’t believe in second chances, then?” she asks, putting my guard right up.
“You don’t know anything about me,” I reply coldly. “You don’t know how many second chances I’ve given to people who have thrown me away like I’m trash, and it turns out Jake was no different than the rest of them. So, no, I don’t believe in second chances anymore because I’m the one who ends up disappointed.”
“He definitely doesn’t think you’re trash,” Christina begins, but I hold my hand up, stopping her.
“I said I would come if we didn’t talk about Jake.”
She takes a deep breath. “You’re right. Instead, let’s talk about me.”
I raise a brow. “Okay.”
“Did Jake tell you how I lost my leg?”
I shake my head, not sure how much I should say, and definitely keeping my guard up.
“I was in a car accident, after Jake and I had a pretty brutal argument. I was irritated with him, but that’s not what caused the accident. It was simply that: a freak accident, and I ended up upside down at the side of a freeway, my leg trapped between the steering wheel and the seat, and the doctors couldn’t save it.
“It was no one’s fault, but Jake stupidly shouldered the blame for a very long time. He was convinced that it was his stupid actions that made me lose my leg. And there are other factors there that he should probably be the one to tell you about.”
“Not that I’m not sympathetic, but why are you telling me all of this?”
“Because I think you’re good for my friend, and I just wanted to give you some insight into why Jake reacts the way he does sometimes. Thinking that you might have been in that accident last week after you’d argued put him in a bad head space. I think he’s trying to make up for that now.”
“Look.” I stand up and begin to walk away. “I understand what you’re saying. I do. I’m sorry that all of you went through that time. But honestly, I feel like I’m being punished for the past. I didn’t do anything wrong, but I was punished anyway, and frankly, I can’t give him the opportunity to do it again.”
I shrug, holding my hands out at my sides as I back away from Christina, who simply looks sad. “I wish you nothing but the best,” I tell her. And with that, I walk away, not looking back.
Chapter Eighteen
Jake
I’m sitting on the bench next to Max at the piano, singing the final few lines of Addie’s song. I finished writing it yesterday and asked Max to come in the studio with me to fine-tune, as only he can. The man is amazing when it comes to the melody, and he took my good song and made it fucking perfect.
Tiffany, Cami, and Mia are sitting nearby, watching with matching expressions of wide eyes and surprise as they take in the lyrics and melody. I was surprised when Mia and Cami accepted my invitation to come listen to Addie’s song. They’ve been nice enough to help me out over the past week, giving me a heads-up on where Addie was so I could have the flowers delivered directly to her, but now they’re going above and beyond, and I appreciate them.