Not Quite Mine - Page 5/87

Dearest Katelyn,

Please read this letter before giving my child to complete strangers to raise within a broken system. I’m not a star-crazed kid pushing her unwanted baggage on someone with money, or a nut who will come back into your life screaming foul play. I am a mother whose heart is breaking as she writes you this letter in a desperate attempt to make you understand.

I am unable to raise my daughter, to love her, to guide her in life. No one is more sorry about that than I am. You can do what I can’t, Katelyn. I’ve seen to it that no one will question who her mother is. All you have to do is take her.

Savannah was conceived with love, albeit one sided, and deserves a mother who can give her everything. I know things about you that I probably shouldn’t. I know how much you want a child of your own, how impossible it is for you to do so. If you open your heart to my tiny miracle, she’ll win you over before dawn. Her father isn’t ready for her, but if my instincts are right, he will be one day. And when he is, the two of you will give Savannah the loving home she needs.

I’ve arranged everything. No one will question the parentage of Savannah, and even if they did, I believe you’ll find a way to keep her.

Please…I beg you.

Love her, Katelyn. If the day ever comes, tell her I loved her, too.

There wasn’t a signature. No name to give to the woman who had written the letter.

Katie glanced at the second paper, which was a birth certificate. Her back teeth ground tight and her head started to pound.

The words “Closed Adoption” stood out in bold print. Under “Child’s Name” was “Savannah Morrison, no middle name.” Under “Mother” was “Katelyn Marie Morrison.” Katie shifted her eyes to the space for the father’s name and found it blank.

She blew out a long, shaky breath.

“What does it say?” Monica sat anxiously waiting.

There would be no need to hide anything from her new sister-in-law so she handed over the papers. As Monica took in all that the letter said, Katie stared down at Savannah and allowed her heart to open a tiny crack. Who was Savannah’s mother, and how did she know Katie’s deepest secret?

“Holy shit.”

Understatement of the year.

“Do you have any idea who the mom is?”

“None.”

“What about the dad? Sounds like the mom thinks you know him.”

Katie rubbed the back of her neck and tried to stop the nagging feeling of dread. “I know a lot of guys who aren’t ready to be a father.” No reason to tell Monica everything. Until Katie knew more about the mother and the reason for Savannah ending up on her doorstep, she’d keep quiet.

“How can someone do this?” Monica repeated the question a few more times as she stood and paced the room. “And what did she mean when she said that it’s impossible for you to have your own kids?”

Savannah puffed out her tiny lips in her sleep as if she were sucking on something. Monica’s question registered. “I can’t have children.” Saying the words aloud always hurt, which was why Katie never did.

“Are you sure?”

Karma had a way of slapping her in the face. “I’m sure.” Since her own mother couldn’t be a good mom, life decided to take the option away from her, too.

Monica sat beside her on the coffee table and grasped her hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Me, too.” And she was. More than Monica could ever imagine.

Both of them turned to face Savannah and stared. The thought of putting her into the arms of a police officer, who would then place her into a home where people took in unwanted children for a price, raced through Katie’s mind.

What if she didn’t do that? Right in front of her was a miracle Katie could never have on her own. She knew that one day she’d look into adopting, maybe even a surrogate birth. Hell, she’d be a mother already if life hadn’t killed that dream.

Bundled up in a neat little package was a dream realized. A dream that money really couldn’t buy.

Savannah wiggled in her sleep, the movement had both Monica and Katie leaning closer. Within seconds, the infant started to blink and open her beautiful blue eyes.

Katie felt her breath coming in short pants. She was so amazing. So perfect. Savannah stretched her arms wide and opened her mouth in a yawn bigger than she was. Then a high-pitched squeak erupted from her mouth.

Katie reached for the buckle and unsnapped it. Savannah watched Katie as she pushed the blanket away and wrapped her arms around the baby for the first time.

“Watch her head,” Monica instructed.

“Right.”

Careful to support Savannah’s neck, Katie lifted her onto her lap. Her tiny arms swam in the pajamas she wore. Little legs kicked Katie’s stomach with a tiny pat. She leaned down and kissed Savannah’s forehead and drew in the fresh, clean scent of her skin. Everything about her was so new. “When was she born?”

Monica picked up the birth certificate and said, “Two weeks ago today.”

Savannah’s hand curled around Katie’s finger and gave a squeeze as if to say, Don’t let go.

“You’re going to keep her, aren’t you?” Monica’s question didn’t have an ounce of judgment in it.

Katie shook her head no, then yes. “Her mother must have been desperate to leave her at my door. I think I should try to find her, find out what her letter meant.”

“And keep Savannah while you’re looking?”