“You’re so beautiful,” Julian murmured against her lips. He wrapped one arm around her waist, lifting her against him. His kiss ignited the fire in her. “Perfect for me. You would never know how much you are.”
She stared as he stepped back, stripping off his jeans. Absolutely marvelous, and big…very big. An awfully naive part of her doubted that this would work. It was one thing having her hand or mouth wrapped around him, and totally something else to consider that going in her.
But then he lowered himself, pushing her back against the bed, trailing his lips over her legs and stomach. He settled over her breasts, where he suckled and nipped. He took his time, slowly moving over her, licking every inch of her skin. It was like he sought to memorize every part of her body. Or claim it. Whatever it was, Lily didn’t care. She’d let him do this for eternity.
Her body arched against him, aching and tense. He drew every breath from her, every moan and whimper. Her fingers clawed at his chest and arms. He lifted, halting her progress. Capturing her hands, he pinned them beside her head.
Desire, rife and powerful, spread through her. She had never felt this way before, and when he nudged her thighs apart, she nearly cried out. She felt him against her, hot and hard. So very close to where she yearned for him to be.
Julian brought his lips back to hers, releasing her hands and moving one of his to rest over her wet cleft. He supported himself with his arm, continuing to delve into her mouth while gently working one finger in and then two. Soon he had her bucking against his hand and his member.
He worked her toward the edge, her breathing erratic. Her hands clenched his arms, and the sounds she was making should’ve embarrassed her. But she didn’t care. She wanted more.
He lifted his head, staring down at her. There was something quite frightening and a bit intoxicating in his wild gaze. It mirrored what she felt inside but couldn’t vocalize. She felt all over the place, full of anticipation and near crazed with need.
He slowly withdrew his fingers, eliciting a sharp whimper from her. As his gaze fixed on her heavily hooded eyes, he guided his erection to rest against her sex. She thought she’d come apart at the first wicked touch, but she had been wrong. It was when he slowly inched his way in that her body came alive.
Julian reached out, laying a hand against her cheek. His thumb drifted down to her full bottom lip. “Do you trust me?” he asked softly.
She wrapped her arm around the one he used for support. “Yes.”
He bent his head to hers. “This may hurt. I’ll make it quick.”
She wasn’t quite sure what he meant by making it quick, but she was really beyond coherent thought. With one last caress over her cheek, his hand dropped to her hip once more, and he thrust deep inside.
Sharp, stinging pain shot through her. She froze at the incredible pressure of fullness.
“Relax,” he whispered, his eyes glowing like sapphire jewels. “It will get better. I promise you.”
She bit down on her lip, nodding. She wasn’t sure how this was going to get better. It felt like he was going to rip her in two.
He didn’t move. Even as his arm trembled around hers, he remained still, buried deep inside her. Eventually the stinging faded to a dull ache, and the fullness began to feel somewhat…good. Tentatively, Lily moved, and the sharp throbbing she felt wasn’t from pain.
“Oh,” she whispered. She tried it again.
“Oh indeed,” Julian groaned.
The fire the simple movement evoked in her propelled her further. She rocked her hips against him, and Julian’s hands clenched into a fist. “I think you’re getting the hang of this,” he grated.
She tipped her hips once more, and Julian’s restraint broke. He began to thrust himself deeper into her body. Lily had never felt so full before and so powerless over her own body. And yet, it was wildly erotic.
Appearing as if he was no longer content with her tentative moves, he cradled her hips, thrusting into her over and over again, increasing in intensity until it became a feverish pace that nearly tore her apart with pleasure. She lifted her legs, wrapping them around his hips, bringing him deeper.
Her head spun as the bliss built inside her. Somehow in this moment, she felt bonded with him. It was more than just sex, more than two bodies enjoying each other. She couldn’t explain it, but she knew this was more. It was meant to be and always had been.
Julian moved faster, grinding against her as her hot, wet slickness enveloped him. His touch was everywhere, as was hers. He let go of her hips, cupping her breast. His mouth dipped to one taut nipple, and he sucked it. The piercing draw from her breast and the relentless pounding was too much.
Kicking her head back, she screamed as she shuddered around him. It was an incredible moment in her life. Finally unleashed from the chains she wore in mindless abandon, she was free. And it felt so damn good. The spasms racked her body in tight, sensual waves, throwing her so high, she never wanted to come down.
Julian’s head tipped back, and his arms tightened around her. He roared his release, burying his head in the crook of her neck. One last spasm sent her body jerking against his, and then her arms fell to her sides. Her head swam as she lay beneath him, wanting him to remain inside her forever.
Minutes passed, and then he nipped at her soft flesh, chuckling when she whimpered. He lifted himself onto his forearms. She felt him jerk inside her once again, and she shivered. “I knew it would be like this,” he said.
She arched a brow lazily. “Did you?”
“Yes.” He brushed a light kiss across her lips. “Are you okay? Do you hurt?”
She glanced down at where their bodies still joined together. She was sore but still in one piece. After that, she expected she would have to put herself back together. “I’m okay.”
Julian placed another kiss against her cheek. “Stay here. I’m going to get something.”
When he slowly withdrew, she felt the delicious pull. She bit down, closing her eyes. Too sated to really care what he was up to, Lily let herself drift off into the warm afterglow. She heard him rummaging around in her bathroom and then water gushing from a faucet.
He returned to her, a damp washcloth in his hand. She frowned as he sat next to her and reached between her legs. Lily flushed. “You don’t have to do that. I can—”
Julian focused on her eyes. “No.” Then he began to gently wipe away all traces of her virginity.
She wasn’t sure how to feel about him tending to her in such a way. This was more intimate than what they had just shared, and it left her feeling out of sorts. Once he was done, he stood and disposed of the washcloth in the basket by the closet.
Lily sat up and winced. Okay, a little sorer than I originally thought.
“Are you okay? I shouldn’t have let go of myself like that. I could’ve hurt you.”
Her eyes widened, but it wasn’t his words or the ache that caused her reaction. That first night when he had come to her apartment, she had never laid eyes upon his back. In fact, he had always kept his back from her, and now she saw why. How she had never noticed this escaped her.
The taut skin over each of his shoulder blades bared the angry marks of where wings had been. The skin once torn open and stitched back together. The flesh was puckered and painful-looking. Each vicious cut was at least six inches long and two inches thick.
Julian stiffened. “Does it bother you?”
“No. I just…didn’t know.” It wasn’t like she saw the Fallen in a state of undress that often. Typically, she killed them or ran tail. “Does it hurt?” she asked, feeling foolish for doing so.
He shook his head. “Not for many years.”
“Oh.” Lily had this strange urge to touch the skin. To come so close to what made the Fallen who they were. “Will it ever heal?”
“I will bear the mark of my fall for eternity.”
That was a long time to be reminded of his disgrace. Then again, he fell, and she doubted that was the worst of his punishment. As wrong as it was, she felt sorry for him. What it must have been like to make one mistake and lose everything he had known or cherished. It had been his choice, but had he realized the consequences and how vast they would be?
Gazing up at him, she realized she had never really considered the Fallen’s pain before, their loss. If she was cast out of the Sanctuary for one mistake, wouldn’t she turn bitter? Would the loneliness their kind faced over the centuries be enough to turn them into the creations she hunted?
“I’m sorry.”
Julian’s eyes widened. “You’d apologize for my fall?”
Not sure if she had made a mistake by uttering those words, she shrugged. He had been relatively evasive when it came to the reason why he fell, but it seemed unfair that lust had brought him down to Earth.
What a traitorous line of thought, she realized.
He stared a moment, then smiled. “You’re a strange Nephilim.”
She almost laughed. “You’re a strange Fallen.”
“That I may be, but you have nothing to apologize for. Not for me. Besides, not a part of me regrets my choice any longer. It is what it is.” He lay on his side, supporting his head with one hand, watching her curiously, completely at ease in his nudity. He reached out and guided her down beside him. Once he had her tucked against him, he continued. “Leave with me.”
“What?”
“Leave with me,” he repeated. “We could go far away from here.”
Lily stared at him for a moment and then laughed. It was a combination of disbelief and surprise. “You aren’t serious.”
“I’m not?” His fingers slipped over her rib cage. “We could go anywhere in the world. There are places far enough away that even your duty to the Sanctuary cannot reach you, Lily.”
He was being serious. Oh, damn. She pushed up so she was eye level with him. “Julian.”
“You won’t have to worry about getting in trouble,” he pointed out rather casually. As if what he was suggesting was no big deal. “You wouldn’t have to answer to anyone. You could be free.”
His words held a certain appeal. It was more than the idea of no longer being tied to the Sanctuary, but the fact he wanted her to leave with him. The notion did silly things to her heart and clouded her thoughts.
There were days when she wanted nothing more than to disappear. The overworked and underappreciated syndrome, but she never seriously considered leaving. She had to remind herself it wasn’t an option as he trailed those agile fingers over the tips of her breasts. Her mouth watered. “I can’t, Julian.”
His fingers slipped to the other breast that was now aching and heavy. “You can do whatever you want.”
She licked her lips. “I can do what I want now.”
Julian raised a doubtful brow. “That isn’t true. You’re chained to your duty.” His finger curled around her hardened nipple as he spoke. “Do you think your Nathaniel will allow this to continue?”
Lily bristled. “Nathaniel has no control over me like that.”
“He doesn’t?” Julian chuckled softly, his smile tender. “He controls everything. He holds your Contract. Does that not mean you must obey his every decree?”