He stares at me with fascination. “You’ve given my son more in one week than his mother has in three years. You have no idea what that means to him. What that means to me.” His neck rolls with a deep swallow as he glances down at our hands that are interlocked in my lap. “How did I not see this amazing girl nine years ago?” His thumb grazes the skin of my hand, rubbing it softly.
I don’t know how to answer him, so I watch him study our hands instead, admiring his features while he admires our connection. His long dark lashes and prominent cheek bones. He seems drawn to the very sight of our hands together, but that look of interest doesn’t linger. Exhaling loudly, almost frustratingly, he slides his hand out of mine and bypasses my gaze to look at the dashboard. “It’s late. I should probably get Nolan to bed.”
Friends don’t hold hands. Friends don’t sit this close. And Ben knows these things. I don’t care what the rules of friendship are because I’m not sure I want Ben as a friend. Not when he makes me feel like this. But that must be how he’s seeing me because he’s breaking our contact. I slide back over to my side and open my door, jumping out of the truck. I open the back door and lean my head inside, pressing a kiss to Nolan’s temple. “Goodnight, Sir Nolan,” I whisper, seeing him stir a bit. I look up front at Ben whose bright gray eyes are studying me. “Goodnight, Ben.”
“Goodnight,” he says with a smile that seems guarded, unlike his usual halt me in my place smile that makes me forget how to breathe.
I go to close the door but stop myself, turning back to Ben. “I’m really sorry I broke your stereo.”
“What?”
I wince at the memory. “Remember the summer before I moved away? I went to your room to borrow your stereo and I knocked it off your desk, breaking it. I’m really sorry about that.”
He shakes his head, his brow furrowing. “What made you think about that?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. But, God, I remember how angry you were. You hated me that day.”
His gaze drops briefly before returning to mine. “Mia, do you me a favor. Don’t apologize for stuff that happened between us before. You could’ve broken everything in my room and it wouldn’t have justified the way I treated you back then. You don’t owe me an apology. Ever. Okay?”
I smile meekly and nod. “Okay. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
I walk inside and go straight to my bedroom, collapsing down on my bed. Tonight was amazing. It was the best non-date I’ve ever been on. I loved talking and hanging out with Ben, which seemed crazy considering how much I used to hate the mere presence of him. The boy I once wished never existed was now the man I wanted to spend every second with. I wasn’t holding on to that hate I once had for him anymore. I couldn’t. Not when the man he is now made me feel things I’ve only read about in books. I was done trying to forget that I gave him a part of me that no one else would ever touch. I wanted him to have it. I wanted him to have every piece of me. Benjamin Kelly was becoming everything I’ve ever wanted and I was finally willing to admit that to myself.
At the very moment my eyes shut, Tessa swings my door open and walks over to my bed, lying down next to me. I wait for the interrogation to start, but it doesn’t come, which is shocking. Rolling over, I notice her worried expression.
“I’m late,” she states, keeping her eyes on the ceiling.
“For…” And then it hits me. Girls only use that wording for one thing when it’s paired with the look she’s carrying right now. “Oh my God. What are you going to do?”
She finally looks at me but doesn’t respond. But she doesn’t have to. Her face is giving away everything she needs to say.
She has no f**king clue.
Chapter Eleven
Ben
I wanted to tell her she looked beautiful that night.
I wanted to wrap my arm around her shoulder and hold her against my chest when she slid next to me in my truck.
I wanted to kiss those soft full lips before she walked into the house.
But I didn’t.
I couldn’t do any of those things. Not when I was very clear about that night not being a date.
I’m trying to earn Mia’s trust and drilling her into my bench seat isn’t the way to go about it. If I act on my impulses, it will f**k up the progress I’ve somehow managed to make. She’s talking to me now instead of brushing me off. She’s spending time with me instead of running away. Or jumping off cliffs. I can’t lose what I have going with Mia. And my dick can hate me all it wants, but I am adamant about keeping things friendly with her for now.
Four days. That’s how long I made it without seeing her before I found myself driving to my parents’ house after work. And believe me when I say that those four days were the longest of my life. Thank Christ I had a job, otherwise I’m certain I would’ve gone completely mental without a distraction. Luke enjoyed my misery immensely, making sure to point out every time I brought Mia’s name up in conversation that had everything to do with work and nothing to do with her. And it was misery. Keeping my thoughts off her tight pu**y and focusing on the friendship I was building with her. And if my own mind wasn’t hard enough to filter on its own, she started throwing text messages at me that were becoming more and more sexual. Apparently, Mia and I were now the type of friends that joked around about sex. She was so f**king comfortable with me now that nothing was off limits to her. And she didn’t care to ask me if I was okay with that before she shifted us into that category.