Hate to Love You - Page 16/69

He patted the seat next to him. “Come on, Clarke. I’m not going to put the moves on you. We don’t like each other, remember?”

My scowl was back in place. “You’re making fun of me.”

“Because you’re so easy to mess with. Seriously. Come and sit.” He patted the seat once again. “If I put my arm around you, it’s because I have to stretch. Can’t cramp up. I’m the quarterback.” He winked.

“Stop fucking with me.”

Missy could come in. She usually did at least once or twice. They’d gone to eat, but she always came in to leave her things. Holly and the cousin walked with her because they couldn’t walk an entire hallway alone. Then she’d go back to their room before coming back again to change if they decided to go out to a party or somewhere else.

He couldn’t be in my room during that prime time.

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re upset, for real?”

“Yes. You don’t know what it’s like.”

They’d see him. They’d look at me differently. They’d want to use me or get angry because he was hanging out with me and not them. Missy thought I was beneath her. So did the others.

He cursed, scooting forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “You want me to leave?”

Yes!

I should’ve said that word, but I didn’t. My mouth didn’t move. Why didn’t it move? I bit my lip, and what I knew would happen, happened.

I heard Missy’s voice in the hallway.

New panic that I’d never felt before stuck in my throat. “Get in the closet. Now!”

“Wha—” He stood, and I shoved him in. “Are you serious?” A hanger poked his cheek. He batted it away, scowling at me now. “You’re insane.”

“Sorry.”

They were at the door.

She used her key to unlock it.

I shut my closet door and stood in front of it, feeling like an idiot. My smile would’ve won the most awkward prize ever. I even twiddled my thumbs together.

Missy came in, saw me, and stopped. Her eyebrows dipped together. “You look weird.”

I stopped twiddling my thumbs. “No, I don’t.”

Holly was right behind her. “What are you doing?”

“Standing.”

“We can see that.”

I raised one of my feet up behind me. “I mean, I’m practicing my balance. You guys should, too.”

Missy snorted, going to her desk. She tossed her keys down and checked her email.

“Your balance?” Holly lifted her left leg up. “An odd way to pass the time, but yeah. I can see the appeal. Do you do yoga, Kennedy?”

I wanted to curse at them. I wanted to rage. I wanted them to go away.

I just smiled. “Maybe I should try.”

“Yeah.” Her eyes lit up. “We’re going to start doing meditation. Missy, we should start tomorrow.” She looked back. “We could meet in our room, and if we get too many people, we can use the chapel downstairs. It’s a good Zen-like room, has that peaceful feel to it.”

That room was creepy, and it would always make me think of Casey. “Sure. You bet.”

“Done.” Missy shut her computer down and changed into a different shirt. She grabbed her phone, but her hands hovered over her keys. “Are you going to be in here tonight?”

Holly glanced to her, and I knew what she was thinking. It isn’t like she has a life. My roommate’s words hung in the air again, filling the air up with tension.

I wasn’t going to do yoga anymore.

I nodded. “I think so.” I pointed to her keys. “You can leave them. If I do go somewhere, I’ll bring them to Holly’s room or leave them with the floor advisor.”

“Is she on duty tonight?”

“Yeah. All night.” That meant she’d be in her room the whole time.

“Okay.” She lifted her mouth in a closed-off smile, though her eyes didn’t look it. “See you later.”

She moved after Holly as they left. Holly gazed at me a moment, as if she wanted to say something, but she didn’t.

As soon as the door closed, Shay reached out.

I started to step aside, but his hand wrapped around my arm and he hauled me inside with him.

“Hey. What are yo—”

My words were swallowed by his mouth.

Shay Coleman was kissing me.

That thought barely registered before my blood warmed, a full-body tingle went through me, wracking all the way to my fingers and toes. Holy shit. I couldn’t think, and his lips were moving over mine. They were asking for something, and I answered. I didn’t know what I was doing, but my mouth opened, and his tongue slid inside. He was kissing me with an extra roughness than I’d felt with guys before, but I was melting.

I lifted my hands to his chest.

What were we doing?

I hated Coleman.

At the reminder, I began to pull away.

He groaned, tightening his hold on my arms. “No, no.”

“But wha—”

“Stop. Okay?” He pulled back, just slightly. I could feel him, all of him. His hand fell to my waist, rounded over my hip, and he tugged me closer. I was lined up against him, and I could feel more than just his jeans. “We hate each other. Fine. But not right now.” His lips nipped at mine. I felt them smile as he murmured, “I don’t hate you right now at all.”

But he would. I would.

I was still holding back. What was I doing? Really?

“Sha—”

“Clarke, stop.” He dipped his body down, and his other hand touched my other hip. He lifted me and moved between my legs. We were in my closet. He was holding me against the wall, and he was standing there. I was half-straddling him. His lips grazed over mine, softly that time.

That was it. That was all I needed.

The last of my resistance faded, and I wound my arms around his neck, molding my body against him. “Fine.” I pressed my lips to his. “But this has new rules. Make-out sessions: first rule, we don’t talk.”

“Yeah.” He growled, his lips covering mine again, drawing a moan from me. “You’re damn right. We don’t talk.” Then he was back to kissing me, and I was right with him.

Gladiator played while we made out on my bed.

I locked the door. I’d never been so happy that Missy left her keys. She was locked out, and then the movie was turned up, enough to drown out any vocals that might slip, and I was going to turn the light off, but Shay grabbed me. He lifted me and almost threw me onto the bed, coming with me, and his lips found mine once again. He sank down on top of me, his body resting between my legs, and that was how we spent Friday night.

His hands glided and touched under my shirt, covering my breasts.

I shoved his hand away, but with a wicked grin, he bent down to start kissing my stomach. Whoa. I was a mess, panting, and feeling this flooding sensation all over. His lips were moving over my skin, raising a whole storm of pleasure, and I pawed at his shoulders. He raised up to find my mouth, and I was the one to put his hand on my breast. He didn’t undo my bra, but he slipped underneath it, cupping me fully, and his thumb rubbed over my nipple.

I cursed and moaned, tightening my legs around his back right over his waist. He was the one to break away and groan this time. I could feel him, resting so close to my entrance, but we weren’t going there.

If these sessions continued, maybe. If not, totally fine with that. And that was a big if. I didn’t like this guy. Remember?

I paused, pulling my lips away and frowning to myself. Was I trying to remind myself or him?

My head was filled with these dark and swirly feelings. Want. Desire. Lust. I wasn’t going to tell him about that. He’d say it was because of his primal animal sexiness, but I whimpered, his mouth capturing mine again. I had to admit there must’ve been some of that going on. It was infecting me, making me act all wanton, like a girl.

“Stop thinking.” He rose so he could whisper the words to my ear, and I melted again. That was a caress, reminding me of all the other times he’d spoken so only I could hear. Goddamn. That was intimate. Then his hands rested on the snap of my jeans, and I woke up. He was about to go to a whole other level of intimacy.