I didn’t care. I’d take the bitch title here. Bitch and Dick Crusher. There should be T-shirts made.
I turned to leave.
The friend said something again to me, and Becca yelled something out, but I wasn’t listening to them. I lifted a hand over my shoulder, dismissing both, and left.
I took a few steps, but I felt it almost right away.
The air in the bar had changed.
People were more on edge. I frowned. I couldn’t place it. Maybe they were more . . . there was an eagerness mixed with a slight edge of hysteria at the same time. I was intoxicated. If I could sense this when I was blasted, it must’ve been really bad.
I marched over to my booth. Gage’s friends were still there, and a new guy had squished in to where I’d been sitting.
“Hey!” A cheer rose from them. “It’s Dick Crusher.”
I teetered on my feet, holding on to the table. “What’s going on?”
Two of them started to stand, saying, “You can take my spot.”
“No, no.” I waved them back. I needed to sober up. That meant not sitting and drinking more. “I’m good. Stay comfortable. I meant around the bar.” I motioned around. “I can feel something’s weird.”
“Oh.” One girl understood. “Shay Coleman came in.”
That was right. It all made sense now.
I swung my head around. “Where’s he at?”
This was as good of a time as any to apologize. I could do it in the bar, and I could slip away. It’d be a drive-by apology. He’d never know what hit him, and tomorrow, I could go back to being normal. I wouldn’t have to be nice.
“What?”
“Coleman. Where’s he at?” I was squinting to see the rest of the bar. I couldn’t. Our corner was packed, and there was a whole other section by the door. I knew that area was standing room only. This might be more work than I realized.
“You know Coleman?”
“She doesn’t know Coleman.”
I didn’t know who was talking so I asked again, “Where at?”
“He’s probably where the football guys always sit.”
I looked at the guy who said that. “I’ve never been here in my life. I have no idea where that is.”
One girl stood and took my hand. “I’ll show you.”
“Wait.” The guy waved us back. He leaned forward, shouting so we could hear him better. “What are you doing? Are you going to talk to him or something?”
The girl started laughing. “She doesn’t know Coleman. She probably wants to meet him or something.”
I nodded. Her words weren’t really clicking with me.
I said, “I need to apologize to him. I was a bitch before.”
I had a fleeting thought that I just violated something. Wait. My rules. Why did I have those rules again? I was forgetting everything. I added, “And I have to tell him Lael says hello.”
“You know Shay Coleman?” the guy asked, sounding doubtful.
The girl was still laughing. She had no clue what was going on.
“I’m in a class with him. It’s all good. I’m not like a stalker or anything.” I shuddered at that thought, and as the girl pulled me forward and into a large crowd in the bar, I couldn’t help but think about the control a stalker had. They chose when to say something. They chose when to approach, when to look, when to retreat. They had all the control.
That was creepy as fuck.
I never wanted to be a stalker. Why was I thinking about that?
The girl was still leading the way. We’d moved into the area that was literally standing room only and had to wait for people to move before we could go farther in. We got halfway before she said over her shoulder, “Do you want to see your brother?” She nodded to the right. “He’s in the corner with some people.”
I shook my head. I was drunk. There was a high chance he was drunk. I leaned closer and yelled, “He probably forgot I’m here. I’m good. Onward to the football star.”
She laughed before inching forward. Then she saw something and veered to where my brother was.
I pulled on her hand. “No. I don’t want to see my brother.”
Too late.
She almost shoved her way into some guys, and voilà, the waves parted for me. Or, a couple people moved aside, and I got a glimpse of a table in the corner. Gage and one of his other friends were there talking to Shay. I recognized another guy from our political science class, but I searched for Linde. I couldn’t find him. Becs said he was also there. I wanted to talk to him, too.
But enough was enough. Apology time had to happen.
The girl who led me started to point, but I nodded. I edged ahead of her.
“Wha—” She tried to grab me, to pull me back.
I evaded her, pushing forward until I was at the table.
Gage had his finger up. His mouth was open. He was in mid-speech, and I recognized all the signs of a big story. He froze, seeing me, and his mouth fell open a few more inches. He swore, turning to face me completely. “I forgot you were here.”
I snorted and grabbed the finger he had in the air. I tried to twist it, but he yanked it away. I said, “That’s a no-brainer.” I sidled up between him and Shay. There was some space there. Gage was standing at the edge of the table, and Shay was leaning against the wall. Someone else could’ve been standing between them, but the space was empty. It was like a protected area, considering how squashed everyone else was. This space was special, private.
It was Shay’s space. No one was going to invade it.
Except me. I had no problem doing that.
I stood in that spot and slapped my brother’s shoulder. “You win the best brother award of all time.” I laughed. “Just kidding. Blake would have your ass in a sling if he were here.”
Gage was speechless.
I turned around to Shay, who seemed just as speechless. His eyes were wide and glued to me.
I moved forward, pressing my hands against his chest, and I grinned up at him. “And you. I have to apologize. I was a bitch, and I’m sorry. I’m always a bitch to you, and I’m not sure why. You’re nice to me, or—” I pursed my lips, thinking about it. “Sometimes you’re nice to me. You can be a dick sometimes.”
He jerked out of his spell. He glanced around the bar, wrapped an arm around my waist, and pulled me close. He bent to whisper-yell into my ear, “You’re drunk?”
I nodded. “I sure am.”
His lips didn’t move from my ear. “Your brother brought you here?”
“He sure did.”
“Who the fuck have you been drinking with then?” He leaned back, his eyes drilling into mine. He clenched his jaw. “Your brother’s been talking to me. Where have you been?”
My head felt heavy, but I frowned and moved back so I could see him better.
He looked pissed. He looked more than pissed. A vein popped out from his neck.
I swung my head to my brother. “Why is he mad? I just apologized.”
Gage’s mouth was still open. Some suspicion filtered in his gaze as his eyes jumped from me to Shay and back again. He shook his head. “I don’t know, Kenz.” Skimming an eye around the table, he drew closer and almost shielded us. Shay was leaning against the wall, the table on his right. I was facing him, the table on my left and my brother came over to box us in.
He ducked his head.
Shay grilled him. “Where’s your sister been while you were here? Who’s she been drinking with?” His hand tightened on my hip.
A buzzing filled my head, rising over the noise in my ears. Something was off. Something wasn’t right. I wasn’t remembering to do something.
I suddenly got tired, and my eyelids started to droop. I shook my head to clear that away. I didn’t want to sleep, not yet.
“Kenz.” Gage pressed in closer.
I glanced around. There’d been a small cocoon, but that diminished. People were closer. There were hungry looks on people’s faces. Some seemed shocked. Some seemed pissed. I caught sight of Linde. He was moving toward us, his mouth pressed in a firm line. The girl who brought me over seemed rooted to her spot, her mouth slightly open.