Hate to Love You - Page 34/69

“What?” He asked me something. What was it? “Oh! Um. No.”

His hand touched my hip, and I almost closed my eyes. Right there, that small touch gave me some extra strength. When had this happened? Where I needed him outside the bedroom, too? It was an unnerving thought, and I shook it off like I did when things got to be too much.

“I could make you something in the kitchen.”

He was studying me as he made the suggestion, and seeing the small panic I felt at the thought of seeing his roommates, seeing Linde, he added, “Or we can order in.” That’d be better. I relaxed, and then he had one last suggestion. “Or we can study a while and head out for a bite as a study break.”

I tapped his chest, enjoying his firm muscles there. “That sounds like a winner.”

“The last?”

I nodded.

The close proximity, his hand on my waist, how he was gazing down at me—my ability to breathe was suffering. My finger was still touching his chest, and I flattened my palm there. A soft chuckle came from him, reverberating against my hand. “Or we can do something else before studying?”

A short laugh caught in my throat. We both knew where this was going. It was part of the reason I came over. I just didn’t think it’d be the first thing that happened, though it made sense. Get it out of the way so we could clear our heads and be productive afterward.

Neither of us wasted words.

Shay took my hand, led the way up to his room, and once that door was closed, we were on each other. He tugged me against him, his mouth on mine, and we stood like that, kissing. Slowly, he dragged his lips from me, but he pressed me back against the door. He lifted his head. “We’re not going to get much studying done.”

“Yes, we will.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him back down. “Just not right now.”

“We’re getting this out of the way.” He nipped my lips with his.

I nodded and gasped. “You read my mind.”

He groaned, opening his mouth even more over mine. His tongue swept in, exploring me, and there were no more words. I grabbed ahold of his neck and began to lift up. He bent, caught me under my legs, and lifted me the rest of the way. He held me, suspended in the air, and pressed me back against the door. We continued to kiss. I don’t think I’d ever get tired of his kisses.

His lips. His mouth. How he used his tongue.

I melted even more, and he shifted me closer against him, stepping back from the door. His hand left my leg for a second. The sound of a lock barely registered in the back of my head, and then we were on his bed.

My shirt came off first.

His shirt was next.

My bra.

I unsnapped his jeans.

Mine.

Then his hand moved between my legs, and he pushed a finger inside. I stopped kissing, just a moment, and arched my back. I bared my neck to him, and he groaned, his mouth falling there and tasting me.

A second finger moved in.

He paused. One second, then he began moving in and out. He was building up a rhythm. I could only hold on as he assaulted me there, and then my neck with his mouth, my chest, my breast, my other breast. He moved all the way down my stomach, still working his fingers, and I was riding them. I was clenching, my head thrown back on his bed, and I was trying not to scream.

He lowered his lips, resting right over where his fingers were thrusting.

“Kennedy.” A soft beckon from him.

I looked down, saw the wicked grin, and widened my eyes. What was—he pulled his fingers out and kissed me there. His tongue slid inside, and my entire body clenched over the sensations. God. His tongue was moving in and out. He was circling me, sliding back in, and he continued.

My lungs were being constricted. I wanted to reach down, grab his head, and move against him. The need was so powerful, I grabbed fistfuls of his blanket.

I held on, forcibly holding myself back.

“Shay.” I was panting.

The pressure was building. I was nearing a climax, and I didn’t know if I could handle it. He was making me hurl over it before I was ready. He wouldn’t slow down. His tongue kept working, and then he began rubbing at my nub, and that was it. It was like my body crashed over the edge, and the tremors took over, wracking my body.

Shay lifted his head, but his fingers went back in me. They were slow and tender. He was helping ease the shaking, and I reached down, grasped his wrist, but I didn’t stop him. Our eyes caught and held, our faces were so close.

I never had a guy do that to me, and it made me feel as if I were stripped and bare to him. I never felt naked to him, even when my clothes were off, but I felt raw right now.

His eyebrows dipped together briefly. “You okay?”

My air was still stuck in my throat, so I nodded. “Yeah.” I swallowed. “I’ve never had someone do that before.”

A tenderness came over him again, and his grin softened. “You haven’t?” His fingers slid out of me, and a warm glow spread over my body. It washed down my spine, through every arm and leg, even down to my toes and fingers. I was tingling, like an out-of-body experience just happened.

I laughed at that thought. Talk about an ego-booster.

“What are you laughing about?” He stretched back up over me, gazing down.

“Nothing.” I framed both sides of his face. “Ready to study?”

He barked out a laugh. “Give me a second, then I’m coming back and working you up all over again.”

He stood from the bed, and I rolled over. His ass, I was almost drooling. It was so tight, but his front side was just as much of a masterpiece. He padded back to the bed, a condom in hand, and then he lay over me once again. He rested between my legs, his mouth finding mine in the sweetest kiss I’d ever had, and it wasn’t long before I was longing for him to be inside me. This time, when he eased inside, his mouth remained on mine, and it was slow, it was tender, and it was drawn out.

Shay took his time, worshipping my body all over again, until I exploded around him. Then he began thrusting harder and harder. He picked up his pace, and I wound my legs around his waist as he was pounding into me for his own release.

I raked my fingers through his hair as he moved to rest on his side. I moved with him, sliding my leg between his, and I tugged his face back to mine. One last kiss. It was tender, like so much else from him today. It was exactly what I needed.

He pulled back, then nipped me once more. “What was that for?”

“The whole thing?”

He rested his head on the bed, looking at me. “The kiss.” He touched my lips for a moment before falling to lie on his stomach. “It was nice.”

“The whole thing was nice.”

“Yeah. It was.”

If we were boyfriend and girlfriend, I would tell him my feelings from the day. I’d talk about the assholes in the food court, the assholes I ran from, the two in my class who would continue to be a problem. I’d tell him how the world seemed so heavy today, until I came here and he kissed so sweetly and touched me so gently, as if he knew that was exactly what I needed to push the heaviness away. I didn’t, because we weren’t. This was just sex, but a budding actual friendship was starting, too. I couldn’t lie to myself any longer about that, and I gazed back at him. I reached for his hand on my stomach and laced our fingers together.

He lifted his head, as if he was waiting for me to say something.

I couldn’t. I couldn’t share the last of what I had. I’d be too exposed, too vulnerable. I squeezed his hand one last time, then rolled to sit up on the side of the bed. I reached for my clothes. “We should probably study.”

He sat up behind me. I thought he’d go around me and start dressing. He didn’t. He slid in behind me, his legs coming around, and he draped himself over me. He tugged me back so I was resting against his chest, and he rested his chin on my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

I tensed, but flashed him a grin. “Nothing.” I kept my tone light, though I knew he knew I was lying. “We really should dress, or we won’t get any studying done tonight.”

“Kennedy—”

I pulled away from him, standing with my clothes in hand. “Mind if I take a quick shower?” I didn’t wait. I hurried in, shut the door, and was under that water like my life depended on it. I took a pause then. What was going on with me? I’d dealt with assholes before. Why were they still with me? Still under my skin? And why was I running from Shay? I wouldn’t be sleeping with him if I thought he wanted to hurt me. I didn’t need to hold things back, but . . . no. I just needed a moment. The wall was down. That was what it was.