“Uh.” Taylor’s eyes darted to mine. I shook my head, the slightest of movement, and she looked back to Nettie. “I’ll be honest, Logan probably won’t know who you are, and Mason . . . I guarantee he’ll be surrounded by all his teammates.”
“Yeah.” Nettie’s head bobbed up and down. “You’re right. Maybe later? I can say something if I see them on campus.”
“Yeah.” Taylor’s smile relaxed at the corners. “It might just be best if you take it easy now. Go home, you know?”
Nettie stood, looking at her friends. Similar to the way Taylor and I were with Mason and Logan, the three of them moved as a unit. Grace led the way this time, and she and Court cast concerned looks at Nettie, who looked at the floor as they left the room and continued out of the house.
They all looked back at us from the sidewalk and offered a short wave before moving on to where they had parked.
Taylor stood next to me in the doorway, and as soon as they were out of eyesight, she punched me in the arm. It was a soft one, no heat to it, but she cursed. “Fuck you, Sam. They thought you were hired help. You left me to be the official Kade spokesperson.”
I laughed. “It was kinda awesome. I won’t lie.”
She groaned, and I followed her back outside to the bar.
Mason and Logan were behind it, with Nate and Matteo on the bar stools. A couple other guys were standing nearby, and everyone looked over as we approached.
“Everything okay?” Mason asked.
I nodded, slipping behind the bar and against his side. His hand came to rest on my hip, anchoring me there. “All good,” I added. “She was embarrassed, but it was consensual. They first hooked up at a different party, and he rode with them here.”
“You serious?” Logan leaned back, his hands on Taylor’s hips as she stood in front of him. “They brought that fucker here?”
“Yeah. The girl asked us how he got a ride home.”
“Wait.” Logan stood straighter, moving Taylor to the side. “You mean he didn’t have a ride?”
“According to the girl he was mauling ten feet from here, no.”
Logan looked at the two guys standing behind Nate and Matteo. “Did anyone pick him up or give him a ride somewhere?”
One shook his head. “We pointed down the street and told him to start walking.” He shrugged. “He did.”
Mason frowned at Logan. “What are you thinking?”
“She might not say anything, but he might. If he’s pissed enough, he could really say something. And we live six miles out of town. You do the math.”
I felt Mason’s hand tighten, just a little bit. His jaw clenched. “That’s a long walk to fume.”
“Exactly.” Logan looked at the guys. “We should go find him, give him a ride to his place. Then we’d know where he lives too.”
Everyone looked at Mason.
He nodded, a short clip of the head. “Do it, but don’t say anything.” He turned to Logan. “You go with them.”
Logan, the two guys, and Matteo all left.
Nate remained behind. “This can’t fall back on you,” he assured Mason. “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of it.”
Mason nodded, but his hand still gripped my hip.
I lifted my hand to touch the side of his face. “It’ll be fine.”
He didn’t reply. He just rested his forehead against mine.
I wanted to run.
As soon as I opened my eyes, I was ready to go. I skipped yesterday. We spent all day Saturday cleaning up after the party, and then we spent the evening cuddling. Chef Logan had declared Saturday night to be Meat Rushmore, and he’d put together a whole display of grilled goodies—not just meat, but he made sure to point out the meat every chance he could . . . until Taylor got tired of it.
We hadn’t gone to bed too late, but it was four in the morning now. I sat up, not hearing Mason’s steady, deep breaths. He wasn’t here. His side of the bed was empty.
I stood, went to the bathroom, and got dressed as quickly as possible. I’d laced my shoes and was uncoiling my earbuds’ cord when I walked past the living room. I braked.
Mason wasn’t there either, but I saw him through the front window. He was stretching outside on the front porch.
“You okay?” I asked as I stepped out to join him.
He pulled his foot up behind him, stretching the front of his quad. “I’m going with you.”
It wasn’t that we never ran together. It was just not usually at four in the morning.
“What?”
He laughed, letting his leg back down. “I have training tomorrow. Figured I should run with you this morning.”
Uh . . .
His eyebrows furrowed. “What?”
I scratched behind my ear.
He grinned, his eyes amused. “You don’t want me to run with you? Or to run in general?”
It wasn’t that, but I lifted my shoulder, starting to walk down the driveway toward the road. Mason fell in step beside me, pulling his arm across his chest to stretch.
“I’m just— It’s just—” God. What was my problem?
“Sam.” He touched my elbow, stopping me. “What’s going on?”
I shook my head, resting a hand against his chest because I wanted to touch him. I let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s going on with me. A few months ago, I would’ve been exhilarated that you wanted to run with me in the morning. But this summer . . .”
Things had started to change this summer. I’d started to change.
“What?” he asked.
I bit my lip. I didn’t want him to run with me. It punched me hard in the chest. Even I wasn’t ready for that one, but as soon as I realized it, I knew it wasn’t the real issue here. I wanted space, that was the issue, but it wasn’t. It was all confusing in my head. I didn’t want to say what the real issue was, but I had to. Mason deserved the truth. He deserved that respect.
“Things changed when everyone started getting married.”
His eyebrows lifted, but he didn’t say anything.
I started to walk again. Mason stayed right next to me. I held my phone and earbuds in one hand, while the other clenched and unclenched. I didn’t know what to do with it as I spoke.
“It didn’t bother me when David and Malinda got married,” I told him. “That wasn’t in the cards for us—not yet anyway—but then I started thinking about Analise and James getting married. I had begun stressing when we went home for the summer, and I thought it was just because of my mom being there. But then one night I made a joke to Heather about her and Channing getting married, and she said Channing wanted to. That shocked me.” I stopped walking.
Mason was still right with me. He was listening.
“It threw me because then I realized that could be you and me. I think it’s early, but I know a lot of people get engaged their last year of college or right after. And that’s where you are, so when I started thinking about that, all this shit came up inside of me. It was all about Analise, about how she and David were, about the stories you’ve told me about your dad.”
My eyes found his. “And some of it’s about hearing how angry you were at your dad,” I said softly. “You still are angry. I know it’s not as much, but it’s there. He’ll never be a normal dad to you. That relationship will never happen, and the same for Analise and me. She let me go, for real, and I like it. There’s no weight or pressure from her anymore, but I’m sad too. I have a choice now, and I have to say goodbye to the kind of relationship I should’ve had with my mother. Does that make sense?”
He nodded. “And all that’s connected to us getting married?”
“Because it’s what I know. It’s what I grew up in.”
He touched my arm and rubbed back and forth with his thumb, soothing me. “You know Malinda and David. They’re a good example of what we didn’t know.”
“I know.” I’d tried telling myself that. Malinda and David were good. Analise and James were not. “Our parents might beat the odds and make something good with each other, but I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. The jaded part of me knows Analise is going to start cheating in two years. And David and Malinda . . .” I pressed a hand to my forehead. The pressure was mounting there too. “Who knows? They’re still early, but I hope they remain good.”