“Just stop it.” I tried to move him out of the way, but he pressed even farther inside, resting his hand on my leg.
I shoved his hand off. I wanted to tell him not to touch me, but Caden would’ve been there in a flash. I bit back the words, for now.
I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t look at him either.
“I should’ve stayed and faced that night head-on, together, but I didn’t. I’m a coward, Summer, and I’m used to my old ways. Being a coward is easy for me. I’ve been that all my life, just like my father. He’s a coward. He ran out on my mom and me.” He paused for a moment. “I always have to have a girl. I loved that you came to see me in the beginning of school, but what could I say? I was with Maggie. I am with Maggie. I…I can’t say anything to make that situation right, but I’m trying to change. Coming here is a first step for me. I want to change.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about, but it didn’t matter. I was over it. I was over him. I reached for his hand, squeezed it, and then pushed him back so I could close the door.
He didn’t fight me, instead he rapped on the window so I’d roll it down. “Our parents are coming up for family weekend.”
“I know.” Why was he telling me this?
“You know they’ll want to do a family dinner. Don’t bring Caden.”
“What?”
“I won’t bring Maggie, if you won’t bring Caden.”
“You have no right to ask that of me. If you don’t bring your girlfriend, that’s on you. If I don’t bring a friend, that’s my decision. It has nothing to do with you.”
“Please?” His hand curled over the window. “Can we have it really just be family? You, me, my mom, your dad? The four of us.”
The driver’s door opened, and Caden climbed inside. I didn’t look, but I felt the tension in the air. Kevin looked past my shoulder, and a wall came over him. He let go of the window and without a word, he backed away. Caden started the vehicle and we drove off.
I watched Kevin the whole time, until he blended in with the night.
Marcus drilled holes in the back of my head during Intro to Physiology again. He hated me. I was okay. Now he hated me again. He must have seen me talking with Kevin the night before.
Even Shayla, my study partner noticed. “I can’t figure out if Marcus Banks hates you or wants to screw you.”
“Hates me.” The horror of the other option. “I’m friends with his brother.”
And that was the wrong thing to say. She suddenly wanted to be more than study partners. She wanted to be lunch buddies, hanging-out-on-weekends buddies, and before she babbled out any other idea she could think of, I said my goodbye and slipped away at the end of class.
Avery came to my room when I got back, and I filled her in on everything that had happened last night.
“So Kevin just showed up and dropped all that bullshit on you, and then Caden drove you away?” Her nose wrinkled. “I’m so sorry, Summer. What an asshole.”
“Pretty much.”
“Guys like that piss me off.” Her hand formed a fist, and she hit her leg. “If he’s going to be in a relationship with you, he should say something.” Hit. “If he’s not, he should say that too.” A second hit. “You know he’s a douche. And you know you shouldn’t be with him, or wait for him, but until he actually says the words, you can’t. Asshole! He should actually say the words.” Three. Four. Five hits.
I frowned, watching the way her other hand tugged on the side of her jeans. She’d wrapped a string there tightly around her finger, cutting off the blood supply.
“Okay.” Grabbing the scissors, I bent forward and snipped her string. “Let’s not lose a finger over this. And wild guess, I’m betting we’re no longer talking about Kevin?”
She let out a breath, her shoulders sagging forward. “Ugh. You’re right. Marcus won’t come out and say what he wants. It’s driving me crazy. Men drive me crazy. Why can’t they just be transparent? Tell us their thoughts, and then we’ll know.”
I shrugged. “Being transparent sounds scary.”
“What do you mean?”
“Think about it. If you told everyone your thoughts and feelings…I don’t know.” Another shrug. “I’d feel exposed. Someone could come and hurt me.”
A light turned on in her eyes. “You think that’s what it is? Marcus doesn’t want to get hurt by me?”
“What?”
She perked up. “I never thought about it that way.”
What had just happened? “No.” I touched her arm. “I was talking about myself. I didn’t mean Marcus. If you were totally transparent about your thoughts and feelings, he could hurt you.”
“No.” She shook her head, eyebrows knitted together.
An uh-oh feeling dropped in my gut. I could see the wheels turning in her head, and this wasn’t a good idea. “Wait. What? I didn’t mean—”
She scrambled to her feet. “You’re totally right. I’ll do it. I’m the one bitching about not knowing what he wants, so I’ll make the first move.”
“You will?” The uh-oh feeling had formed a ball, and it was lodged in my throat. “Can we talk about this before you do something?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Like, what are you going to say? You looked more than friends-with-benefits at the bowling alley.”