“Why wouldn’t I?!”
“Your face. That’s what I thought was the problem. That every time you look at him, you see yourself. You think it could’ve been you.” I paused. “That’s what I see. I see me. I see another life I could’ve had. I’m the one who fights. You race. I party and fight. Colton was the one who shone. He was the star, not you or me.”
“I know.” His mouth pressed closed. “I know.”
“Stop skirting around him, okay? Go see your brother. At home, at the hospital, wherever.”
He held my gaze again. “Okay. I will.”
“I just need help with it. That’s why I snapped tonight. I knew you were at the hospital. Summer never said a word.”
“How’d you know?”
“You left your coffee.”
“Shit.” He straightened. “I didn’t even think of that.”
I clasped him on the shoulder, this time in solidarity, not intimidation. I shook him gently. “I just need help. That’s all.”
He nodded. He clasped a hand on my shoulder. “I will.”
We watched each other steadily. It was just us. Our mom was in denial, waiting for the day her son would “get over it,” and our father had been on business trips almost the entire time. He’d rather be away than see his son the way he was now.
Broken.
SUMMER
After getting a drink, I waded through the house, but I couldn’t find my crew. No Avery, no Clarissa, and no Paige—I guessed I’d include her too. I told myself I wasn’t looking for Caden, but I knew I was. I couldn’t find him either. He wasn’t in any corner of the house, basement, living room, garage even. I had no clue, so I circled back to the backyard and finally heard my name called.
“Yo, Sum Sum! Over here.”
Clarissa waved me over to a picnic table set up in a far corner. An entire group had gathered there. Clarissa blinked a few times, flashing her dimples, before throwing her arms around my neck.
“Where’veyoubeen?” Her voice was muffled, tickling my neck.
I patted her on the back. “I was upstairs. Where have you been?”
“We’ve been here.” She beamed, stepping back, but still holding my hands. “I’m so happy you came this weekend. I’ve missed you. I miss May too. Oh! She called. She got sick, and something else happened, but I wasn’t understanding it. Anyway, she’s not coming, and I miss her. I missed you too.”
“I’ve missed you too.” I did, but my happiness was warring with worry about Caden at the moment. I glanced around the table again. Avery sat with her friends at one end. Paige stood at the other, a guy next to her.
She waved. “We were looking for you.”
“Yes!” Clarissa grasped the tops of my arms, surging onto her tiptoes. “We saw Caden. Is it Caden? Is he the guy?” She leaned close, giving me a good whiff of beer breath. “Please tell me he’s the guy, because holy moly, he’s gorgeous. And he is one unhappy camper with your friend’s boyfriend right now.”
“Who?”
“Your friend.” She pointed at Avery.
“Her boyfriend?” My mind was moving slowly, but caught up. Caden was mad at Marcus, but… “Are they drinking somewhere together?”
“They didn’t look like they were going to drink together.” Clarissa giggled again, sticking her hands up, balled in fists. “They more looked like they were going to throw a couple of these.” She jabbed at the air with one hand, tucked it against her chest, and jabbed with the other. “If you know what I mean.”
“Okay.” I pushed her arms down. “Never do that again, but yes, I know what you mean.”
He told me he wanted to drink.
He lied to me.
I needed to find them. No matter how angry Caden was, I knew he didn’t want to hurt his brother.
“Where’d they go?”
The girls all shook their heads, shrugging.
I zeroed in on a few of the guys. “Where?”
“It’s a guy thing.”
I stomped my foot and instantly regretted it. That hurt, but I did it again. “Where?!”
“Just tell her. She’s Caden’s girl.”
I wasn’t sure who said that, but I scanned the table again. “Thank you.” And he was right. I was Caden’s girl.
Right? It had to be true now, after two times together. Shut up, Summer. I lectured myself. Now’s not the time to start obsessing and worrying about it.
The guy on the end pointed behind a second house. “They headed over there. They haven’t come back yet.”
I was off.
“You wad us to come wid oou?” Clarissa yelled, slurring her words.
“No!” I waved her away, but then Avery got up and hurried after me. “Ave—”
“I’m coming. It’s my boyfriend too.”
I stopped and shot her a grin. “Boyfriend, huh?”
She grinned back, elbowing me. “Caden’s girl, huh?”
“I would laugh and say something ridiculous at this moment if I wasn’t worried about them.”
She sighed. “Me too. Let’s go.”
I was ready for anything. Blood. Shouting. Punches. I was even prepared to find Marcus unconscious on the ground, but I hadn’t planned for what they were doing when we found them.
They were laughing.
I shook my head. “I have no words.”