I nodded. I knew he couldn’t see that, but I couldn’t talk. My emotions were choking me, and when he hung up, I’d just curled on my side and hugged the pillow to me.
It wasn’t Caden I’d been holding, not like I’d been dreaming. It was my mom, and in that moment she was there. She’d been holding me right back.
I wanted him back, but it was time I took care of myself first.
“What are we doing for supper tonight?” Avery asked, turning around in my desk chair and separating me from my memories.
I grunted and tossed a package of ramen over my shoulder.
She groaned. “Not again. Please. You need real food, Summer.”
“Noodles are real food. They’re a relative to real pasta, which came from Italy and we know how kick-ass Italian food is. Boom. They’re gourmet badassness.”
She tossed them to the corner. “They’re not, and I’m pulling my friendship card.”
No way. She couldn’t.
I rotated around in my chair to stare at her. “Not the friendship card.”
“Totally the friendship card.”
I pretended to gasp and shudder. Okay, I really did shudder. I’d never admit it, but the ramen wasn’t doing it for me either.
She pulled out a plastic card from her purse and waved it in the air. “This states that when a friend needs an intervention, I can step in. You are long past an intervention.”
“I do everything necessary to sustain my physical and biological needs. Case in point.” I pointed to my water and the fridge. “Liquids. Solids. I go to the bathroom. I sleep. I also uphold higher-function necessities, like class. I go to class… Now,” I added after a moment. “I go now. I had a short hiatus, but that doesn’t count. I go now. That counts.”
Avery wrinkled her nose and scratched behind her ear. “Okay. We’ve been back from break for two weeks, and I’m calling it. We’re going to eat.”
I opened my mouth, ready with an empty promise to order Chinese food, when she added, “But we don’t have to go on campus, not that he even eats there.” She softened her voice. “I was thinking we could go to a restaurant or something.”
“What is this you speak of? A dwelling where they serve many varieties of solids?”
Her lip twitched in a grin. “Yeah, that. You and me, we’re going to dress up, and we’re going to dine like queens.”
“Can I wear a tiara?”
“Without a doubt.” She winked at me as she got up and went to the door. “Thirty minutes, then we’re leaving.”
“Avery?”
“Yeah?”
“Is that really a friendship card?”
She laughed, brandishing the card in the air. “You’re damned straight. It’s a credit card, the best friend a card could be.”
“We should actually make a friendship card.”
“A friend card.” Her smile deepened. “I like it. Let’s do it.” She pointed at me. “Thirty minutes. You can get dressed in two, so I know you can manage.”
I managed. But when we got there, the restaurant was bustling, with people spilling out to the patio in front. I wasn’t even going to pretend we could get in right away. I plopped down on one of the benches.
Avery paused, but I waved her on. “This was your idea. I’m not dealing with that crowd in there.”
She snorted, rolling her eyes. “Nice to see your spunk is coming back.”
I leaned back on the bench. My spunk was always there. It was a part of me. No way would my spunk leave me. I noticed an older lady looking at me. I glanced down. Oh. My legs weren’t crossed. Feeling some of that spunk, I spread them even wider. Take that, old judgmental prude.
She wrinkled her nose and lifted it in the air. Literally.
I was tempted to scratch my balls.
“Summer?” Colton was sitting on the bench next to me.
“Hey.” I sat up. “What are you doing here?”
Was Caden here too? I started to look—
“He’s not here.” He made a sad attempt at a smile. His eyes were dead, and he looked like he’d lost weight. “Sorry.”
“No.” I shook my head. What should I say here? I gestured to the empty spot next to him. “Can I, uh, can I scoot over there?”
He patted the space next to him. “Have at it. I’m hiding from my folks.”
“Your parents are here?” I sat.
He nodded, slumping back the way I’d been earlier. “Our dad came home last night from Beijing, and I believe divorce papers showed up this morning. They had a hellava row last night.”
I winced. “I’m sorry, Colton.”
He lifted a shoulder. “This will get blamed on me, I’m sure.” He gave me a crooked side-grin. “Turns out brain injuries are hard to live with.” He paused. “Or even just be around. People don’t like when they’re lives are upended by something they can’t see.”
Caden had said something similar once before. I remembered his anger and sadness, and seeing the utter defeat in his brother, I covered his hand with mine. “I’m sorry, Colton.”
He patted my hand. “I’m not that torn up about it. It is what it is.”
I didn’t believe him. “Does Caden know you guys are here?”
He shook his head. “He and Marcus don’t even know Pops came home last night. I know Caden’s always there, but he doesn’t need to deal with everything. If I told him, he’d come here and rip into our parents, telling them to suck it up and act like adults. Marcus would just, he’d probably hide with me. We tend to leave the heavy lifting to Caden. It’s not always fair to him.”