Well, thanks a lot, ass**le. I’d like to say that, but I don’t because I’m uneasy with all the anger I’m experiencing right now. He’s affecting me in a very negative way and I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all. I cut right through his bullshit and lay it all out there. “Do you want to f**k me?”
“Would you like me to f**k you?”
This is going nowhere. I’m getting nowhere. And I can’t take the pressure, so I blurt out, “Yes! Yes, I want you to f**k me.”
He’s shaking his head before I even finish. “I’m sorry, Grace. I don’t work that way. I mean, yeah, look at you. I’d like to f**k you sideways, upside down, and backwards, and not really in that order because I’m a total ass man. But I don’t date anyone without a NDA.”
“Ah, there it is! I knew that was true!” I turn around and start walking back to the beach.
He does not follow and I know this partly because I don’t hear the soft sound of feet on stones behind me. But also because when I get all the way back to the shore he calls out. “Hey, Grace!”
I stop but don’t turn.
“Want a trial run? To give you time to make up your mind. See if I’m worth the price of your silence?”
I stop and throw up my hands but I don’t turn back around. “Are you asking me if I’d like to f**k you tonight without the contract?”
“That’s what I’m asking.”
“No strings?”
“No.” He chuckles behind me as he walks down the path. “There are definitely strings, Grace. And if we go any further, you will verbally agree to them. You’ll give me a lady’s word that you will not talk to the media.”
Well, he’s got no idea how much the media revolts me, so that’s a deal I can make. I turn and I’m surprised to find him very close. “What am I not talking to them about, if I give a lady’s word to take you up on the free trial?”
He takes a deep breath like he has to steady himself to answer that question, and then he lets it out and replies, “Submission.”
“I don’t really know what that means, so you’re gonna have to explain.” My heart is beating so fast at the sudden turn in conversation, I almost want to pass out. I steady myself by leaning against the trunk of a palm tree. “Will you hurt me?”
“Maybe,” he says softly. “If you like that.”
“What if I don’t like that?”
“Then I won’t do it. But how do you know you won’t like it unless you try it?”
“Was all this small talk just a way to break the ice so you could get me to agree to this?”
“Yes.”
No hesitation on his part at all. Just yes. I turn away and my heart pounds inside my chest, enough to make my vision blur, and before I know what’s happening I’m falling to the ground. “Did you drug me?”
He laughs. “Drug you? How in the world would I have drugged you, Grace? Jesus. A little faith. I’m not a kidnapper, for f**k’s sake. I’m just a kinky bastard who wants to get laid. And I want to do that with you tonight. Stop thinking so hard.” He’s got me by the arm and I realize I didn’t fall. I almost did, but he caught me. “I can make it nice, if that’s what you want.”
“Just tell me why? Why me?” I force myself to look him in the eyes. “You can have anyone and I’m not the only available woman at this resort. So just tell me what you see when you look at me—and not all that bullshit about eyes and skin and whatever, but what you really see. Do I have the word victim written across my forehead?’
“Victim? What?”
“That something that says you can take advantage of me. That says I’m vulnerable and needy and I will agree to this thing you ask for because I’m desperate for someone to love me and the only person who can do that is you. That’s what you want me to believe, right? I’m damaged—”
His mouth covers mine mid-sentence. A soft kiss, not hard and punishing like I imagined it. His tongue sweeps in and caresses mine and my heart slows. Slows. That erratic thumping a few seconds ago is replaced with calm serenity. With the tender touch of his fingertips as they brush against my cheek.
“Stop,” he says when he pulls away just enough to allow him to speak words that won’t get lost inside my mouth. “Stop all that talk, right now. I didn’t realize you were so fragile. So… breakable.”
“So weak, you mean.”
He reaches down and pinches my ass. Hard. I squeal and try and pull away but his embrace constricts me so we are breast to chest. His hand leaves my ass and cups the back of my neck.
“I said stop.” This time his tone is not soft. “And when I say stop, you obey that f**king command at all times. I don’t use it often, but I refuse to listen to this bullshit spewing out of your mouth. Just because I find you attractive doesn’t mean I want to abuse you or that I see you as weak because I think you might be willing to submit. It does mean I find you irresistible. That I’d like to explore our sexuality together. That I’d like to own your body, even if only for a short period of time.”
My heart pounds again. Ball in my court, right? What the hell do I say? “I don’t understand what any of that means.”
“I know,” he says, and then he kisses me gently again to calm me down. “I know. I see that now. So I’ll teach you. If you agree to submit, I will teach you.”