“Harper, just tell me what you want. I’ll get it.”
“James,” I say before I can stop my mouth.
“Oh.” He drops the rolls back into the drawer and closes it up. “OK. Well, I guess I’ll just show you back to the bedroom and then I’m going to turn in. Maybe we can try again in the morning.”
“Try what again, Vincent? What exactly do you expect of me? I’m in love with your brother. How can you possibly expect me to turn that off? Just because you look like him doesn’t make you him. People aren’t interchangeable. And I’m sorry you were the one promised to me. He was the one who found me. He was the one who came to me. He was the one who claimed me. And I let him. So no amount of wining and dining can make up for the fact that you came into my life too late.”
He waves me back out into the hallway and turns the light off as we exit. The walk back to the bedroom is silent and heavy with regrets. I’m sorry I talked harshly to him and I’m sure he’s sorry his brother beat him to the beach. But what can I do about this? I’m not going to give up on James before he even has a chance to talk to me about what these people are saying. That’s stupid.
When we get to Vincent’s bedroom, he walks in with me. But before I can protest about him spending the night in here, he puts his hand up. “Don’t worry. I’m just grabbing clothes and then I’ll leave you alone.” And then he turns and walks into his closet.
A few minutes later he emerges with a handful of clothes and gives me a smile. “Good night, Harper. I hope you have a restful sleep.” He pulls the door closed behind him and I’m alone.
I breathe a huge sigh of relief and strip out of my dress. I hang it up, admiring it as I put it back. It’s very pretty. I should’ve looked at myself in the mirror more so I could remember it. I doubt I’ll have a lot of dressing-up opportunities with James once he comes to take me back.
I shake away my melancholy thoughts and choose a tank top and a pair of soft shorts to sleep in. Once I wash my face and brush my teeth with a toothbrush fresh out of a package, I climb into the big bed. I expect it to smell like Vincent. His cologne. But it doesn’t. It smells like laundry soap. He put fresh sheets on for me.
What a day, I think as I lay my head back into the soft pillow. My stomach is empty and rumbling, but my eyes are heavy and they win the war in the end. Because as soon as they close I’m dreaming of seeing Nick again. Of our birthdays coming up. Of Sasha and cozy homes in the desert like Merc’s.
And of a life filled with James Fenici.
Because a life without him is not worth living.
There’s no replacement for my James.
Chapter Nineteen
Harper
When I wake up in the morning I have no idea what to do with myself. I realize, after lying in bed running all the past days’ events through my mind, that I’m waiting for Vincent to appear and tell me what to do.
Just as this thought crosses my mind, the phone on the bedside table rings.
I stare at it. Do I answer it? I even look around, hoping Vincent will come rushing into the room, but he doesn’t. I count the rings and when it gets to seven, I gather that it’s not connected to a machine and pick it up just to make the noise stop. “Hello?”
There’s a bunch of noise on the other end. “Harp?” Nick asks, sounding very distant.“Nick? Oh my God, is that you?”
“It’s me,” he says over the roar of traffic. “It’s me!”
“Where are you? How did you know I was here?”
“Vincent called me last night. He said you’re having some trouble adjusting…”
I stop listening. Vincent called him? Called him? Like, just pressed a few numbers and presto, he’s in contact with my brother who’s been missing for a year?
“Harper?”
“Yeah,” I answer. “Sorry, I didn’t hear that.”
“I said, he’s worried about you. And how your time with Tet has affected you.”
“My time with Tet.” Nick’s talking again, but I’ve tuned him out. He knew. He knew I was with James. And Sasha knew where he was too. He went to see Sasha. And my father knew James was with me, they were in contact and that’s why James dropped me off at the ship.
“Harper? Are you still there?”
Somehow all these threads are connected. It’s ragged, but somehow, everything is related. I just can’t seem to figure out how.
“Harper!” He yells it this time.
“Sorry,” I say back quickly. “I think I lost you for a second. The line went silent. Say it again.”
“I said you have to stay away from Tet.”
“Why?” My heart is beating so fast I have trouble breathing.
“Listen, Harp. Tet is on a mission, only he’s not aware he’s on a mission. They brainwashed him years ago, Harper. You need to stay far, far away from him, do you understand?”
“What mission?” I think I might get hysterical.
“I know you’re not going to believe me, but he’s been programmed. They’re all programmed. Do you understand? All the assassins are programmed. They brainwash them when they’re young. All growing up. They tell them things to make them loyal and then when they turn sixteen, the programming is activated and they become assassins.”
“But you—”
“I was never programmed, you know that, sister. I was with you. We’re different. We’re the Admiral’s children. We both have a role to play, but I don’t have time to talk about that now. I got to get back on the road and I just needed to tell you that Tet is dangerous. I know you’re probably wondering who to trust right now, but sister—” His formal use of sister makes me stop my panic and listen. It’s how he always got my attention when we were young because he was not allowed to say my name in front of others. Sister, he’d call me. It meant people were listening. “You have to trust me. Listen to Vincent. Please. He’s telling you the truth. I’m on my way to see you.”