Maybe he should feel some kind of jealousy but he didn’t, because he could be a part of that. They wanted him there.
Josiah caught his eye. “Hey. I didn’t hear you come in. What are you smiling at?”
He was smiling? News to him. “You guys, I guess.” He walked over to them, kissing Josiah. He paused before pressing a kiss to Mateo’s lips, too. They sat at the table and ate overly-salted spaghetti but no one complained. They talked about their days and Josiah showed him Mateo’s pictures.
Afterward they cleaned the kitchen together and, just before they left the room, Tristan ignored the lump in his throat and spoke. “Next weekend, we’re going to have dinner with my mom.” He looked at Mateo. “All of us.”
Josiah pulled him into an easy hug, whispering “thank you” in his ear. Over Josiah’s shoulder, he returned Mateo’s nod.
Chapter Eighteen
Josiah
They walked around the small, empty building. It wasn’t in The Warf, but it was very close. It was also a little over what Josiah had been approved for, but Tristan had insisted they come.
And he was right. The place would be perfect. It was almost everything Josiah had dreamed of. The building had an older feel, and, he couldn’t explain it, but it just felt right.
“It needs a little work,” Tristan said as he stood where the main counter would go. Josiah pictured it being a warm, chocolaty brown.
“I could do it,” Mateo said at the same time Josiah said, “That’s okay. I want to work for it.” He looked over at Teo, who grinned. “Okay, help you work for it.” He wasn’t going to pretend he could work with his hands as well as Teo could.
“Mmm. I wanna see you all covered in sawdust. Dirt smudged under your eyes after workin’ hard all day. That’d be sexy...” Mateo looked at Tristan before adding, “Wouldn’t it, Tristan?”
Josiah watched fire blaze in Tristan’s eyes. “Yes, it would be.”
“Ah, the suit likes things dirty. I never would’a guessed,” Teo teased. With each word that they spoke, Josiah fell in love with them more. Watched them falling for each other, whether they realized how much they were or not.
“I can show you just how dirty I like it.” Tristan stepped closer, but his phone beeped in his pocket. He pulled it out, no doubt making sure it wasn’t his mom before putting it away again. Unfortunately, it had broken the spell, something he figured Tristan and Mateo were both kind of okay with. They wanted each other. They all knew that, and they touched and kissed and sucked each other, but Tristan had yet to fuck Mateo, and they all knew Tristan would never let any of them fuck him.
But Josiah wanted that. Wanted it so much he ached inside. He would do anything to see them together, and he could only hope one day Tristan trusted one of them enough to let them have him. It wasn’t the sex part that was important, though he would definitely enjoy that, but no matter how close they were, something painful kept Tristan from fully giving himself to anyone.
“Jay, we could make this pretty incredible. Look at the view from the windows. It might not be right on the water, but you can see it.” Mateo nudged him and Josiah went over, looked out at the water they’d spent so much time walking by.
“It’s too much, though. You know I can’t afford this.” He didn’t realize how much he wanted this, this exact place, until those words left his mouth.
“I can.”
Though Tristan’s words meant everything to him, they left him feeling hollow, too. He would give Josiah the world. There was no doubt in his mind that Tristan loved him, yet he’d still never said the words. He still couldn’t put himself out there, and take from Josiah or Mateo the things he would give. “I can’t let you do that, Tris. You’ve already done too much.”
Tristan wrapped his arms around Josiah from behind. “I want to do it. We both know I haven’t given you enough.”
“You know this place isn’t what I want from you.”
Tristan sighed and let him go, but it was Teo who spoke. “Actions speak louder than words, Jay. You deserve this.”
That was easy for Mateo to say. Each day closer to meeting Tristan’s mom, he withdrew further. Josiah wasn’t stupid. He knew Teo well enough to know what was going on. He knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t be going with them when the day came.
“Tristan can help you get your dream, and I’ll help you build it.”
It was that statement that almost pushed the word yes from his mouth, made him go weak in the knees. As far back as he could remember, he’d never known what love was, but now he had both of these men who, despite their faults, he knew both loved him.