***
Two days after he heard Molly and William talking on the porch, Teo had a job selling drugs. Shit like that was easy to find, and they didn’t care if you had references, experience, or looked like you belonged behind bars.
He needed money and he needed it fast. He couldn’t think of another option besides selling.
It made his skin crawl. Made him feel like the man he hated—like his father. But what if he could save enough? Find a way to get a little place or something like that so he could stay close to Josiah.
He wouldn’t take drugs into Molly and William’s house. Didn’t want them around Josiah, either, but if he could get a place close, maybe it would buy him more time to get a real job.
Or at least help him if he had to go back into the city. Which, if he was being honest, he knew that’s what he needed to do. All he’d been doing was biding his time here, dreaming and wishing stuff he had no business thinking about.
He should go now. Just get it over with, but...was it so fucking bad to want to spend his birthday with Josiah? To pretend they could have what they dreamed of?
So, that’s what he did. Depression hit everyone in the house, so no one noticed how hard a time Teo was having. They didn’t know he’d heard Molly and William talking. That he was leaving.
Josiah struggled, big time, scared of losing Molly. He didn’t think of Teo having to leave, or if he did, he didn’t bring it up. That was Josiah, though. His mind wouldn’t think of Mateo having to go because he didn’t look for bad shit the way Mateo did. Plus, he had enough bad worry about Molly.
By the time his birthday came around, Molly already started chemo. She put on the brave face, trying to make plans for Teo’s birthday, but he told her not to worry about it. Just to get well.
That night he lay in bed with Josiah. Jay had his head on Mateo’s chest as he lay on his back. Teo had his arm around Josiah, a hand in his hair.
“I wanted to make you something for your birthday, something like the queen you made me, but I’m not good at anything like that.” There was a soft sadness in Josiah’s voice that Teo wanted to wipe away.
“Just being with you’s all I want. I don’t need nothin’ else.”
“I wrote you a letter. It’s under the pillow on your bed. Don’t read it when you’re with me, though.”
Electricity zapped through him. Everything about Josiah made him feel like that. He needed to tell him that he’d have to go soon, but he didn’t want to ruin this night. Or the life he could have. So, fuck NYC. He was staying close to Josiah even if he had to sleep on the streets every night.
“I won’t open it, but then, you gotta talk to me till you fall asleep. I wanna know everything about you.”
Josiah chuckled. “You already do.”
“Not your future. Tell me that.” He squeezed tighter.
“Our future. Where do you want to go?” Josiah asked.
“This is your story. You tell me. I’ll go wherever you want.”
Josiah thought for a minute. “California. I’ve always wanted to go there. I read about Fisherman’s Warf in San Francisco. I want.... I think I’d like to work in, like, a coffee shop or something down there.”
“No.” Teo shook his head. “This is your dream, mi precioso. You’re not going to work there. You own that shit.”
“Yeah...yeah I do. And we’ll walk to the ocean every day and feed the birds. Then you’ll go to work and I’ll go to the shop. People will come in to drink coffee, eat pastries, and listen to music. We’ll have a stage in the front and we can do open mic nights or something like that. What do you think?”
Dios, his fucking eyes started to sting. None of that was his thing, but he wanted it. Wanted it so fucking bad he could hardly stand it. “It sounds perfect.” And then the urge to tell Josiah something hit him. Just a little something that was a piece of his happiness, too. “There’s this park in NYC, it’s little as shit and not in the best area. It’s called Creekside. It wasn’t the fucking ocean like your dream, but my mom and I used to walk by that creek before she died. I loved it there.”
Josiah kissed his chest. “Maybe I can see it one day.”
Mateo didn’t tell him that he didn’t want him to, that if he did that meant he’d be closer to Brooklyn, the last place Teo wanted him.
They talked for a little while longer before Josiah whispered, “Good night. Happy birthday.”
Teo didn’t move, laid perfectly still until he was sure Josiah was asleep. He tried like hell to fall asleep but it wouldn’t come. When he couldn’t just lie there any longer, he quietly slipped out of bed, grabbing the letter to take with him. The paper burned a hole through his hand he wanted to read it so badly.