“You can have whatever you want from me.” Mateo’s voice was low. Without another word, he turned and walked over to a suitcase. He pulled lube and a condom from inside before going back over to the bed.
Still, it was Mateo who laid Josiah down on the bed. Mateo who covered Josiah’s body with this. Mateo who kissed Josiah deeply. Mateo who thrust his hips so that his erection rubbed against Josiah’s.
After pressing one more soft kiss to Josiah’s lips, he rolled off of him and onto his stomach on the bed.
“No.” Josiah turned his way. “I want to look at you.”
This time Teo rolled onto his back, opening his legs. Lust burst inside him, making Josiah crack at the seams. He was really here. Teo was really with him again.
“Has anyone ever had you?” he asked, not sure why he needed to know.
“No.”
The rest went both in slow motion and overdrive at the same time. Josiah opened the lube, coating his fingers. He lay on top of Teo, kissing him as he pushed a finger inside.
Mateo tensed up beneath him.
“Teo...Please. It’s just me.”
The words were the right ones to use because Mateo’s body slackened beneath him. Josiah moved his finger in and out, his tongue doing the same to Teo’s mouth, and he figured maybe this was the way it was supposed to be. Maybe he was supposed to be the one to make love to Teo, the way Teo had been the first to make love to him.
Soon it was two fingers and more lube to stretch him.
“Get inside me, Jay. Fuck me.”
Live wires snapped and popped at Teo’s words. Josiah ripped the condom open before rolling it down his erection. Fear pooled inside him. How was he supposed to do this? How was he supposed to make love to Mateo and then walk away? But he couldn’t walk away from Tristan, either. Losing either of them would shatter him.
“Jay, come on. I’m giving myself to you.”
And he knew right then that Teo meant completely. When he’d seen Mateo last week, he’d been sure he’d walk away from Josiah again. That he would leave. But the conviction in his voice, in his eyes, told him he wasn’t. Teo wasn’t leaving him again. And he wanted that. Wanted Teo and Tristan but knew he couldn’t have both.
“I’m the one here with you right now, mi precioso. You stay here with me. You’re going back to him, but right now, you’re mine.”
You’re mine. The same words Tristan had used. Add to that that Teo somehow knew, knew that he wasn’t—couldn’t—leave Tristan, and Josiah almost lost it right there.
But he didn’t. He was so damn tired of that. Instead he pushed forward, slowly easing into Mateo’s body.
Oh God. The need to orgasm slammed into him but he held it off. It was tight, so tight, as he pushed himself inside of Mateo.
“Oh, fuck. That’s it. Dios, I want you.”
Josiah slammed his hips forward, burying himself inside Mateo. They were both still. He was scared if he moved, he’d come. But then Teo’s nails dug into his ass. Josiah pulled out before thrusting forward again. Over and over, he made love to Mateo. Having a part of Mateo no one ever had. Knowing that he’d always had parts of Teo no one would ever have.
His eyes took Mateo in as he moved beneath him. Saw the scar on his neck, and a new one that wasn’t there before, on his shoulder. As if he knew what Josiah saw, Teo said, “I’m fine. It doesn’t matter.”
But it really did matter. Seeing that bullet wound made it all more real to him. Mateo had been through things he couldn’t imagine. He knew none of the details and feared they’d slay him. No matter what he’d been through, he knew it wasn’t nearly as bad as what Mateo had.
Mateo wrapped a hand around his own shaft, stroking it while Josiah pumped in and out of him. He felt a tingle start at the base of his spine. A heavy ache started to build in his balls that he wasn’t sure he could hold off much longer.
He changed the position of his hips, trying to hit Mateo’s prostate. He hit the spongy spot right as white fluid shot out of Mateo’s cock. With that, Josiah let go, letting his orgasm pull him under. He kept pumping as he filled the condom before he fell on top of Mateo, resting his head on the bullet scar he would give anything to take away. And through the bliss...all he could concentrate on was the fact that he was lost. He would have to lose one of the men he loved.
Chapter Four
Mateo
Mateo watched as Josiah walked naked to the bathroom to toss the condom. Watched as he made it halfway back before stopping, as if to decide if he wanted to climb back into bed with him or walk away.