“Yes.”
“He’s back...”
Elliot didn’t miss a beat. “He’s been gone an awfully long time.”
“Some of that was spent in prison. But he came for me. He came back earlier, but I didn’t know it.”
His friend sighed, his voice soft when he spoke, making Josiah realize how good he was at this. Elliott had found his calling. “I’m not sure if knowing he spent time in prison makes me feel any better about this. Does Tristan know?”
“Of course he does. I’m not going to lie to him. I need you to turn off shrink mode if we’re going to do this. I need a friend right now. I love them both. I can’t choose between them.” Josiah met Elliot’s wide eyes, seeing his friend realized what he meant. Maybe not completely, but in a way.
“Holy shit, I have never met anyone like you, Josiah. It took you forever to even talk to me. You keep to yourself, and are probably one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. But I know there’s more to your past, too, and now you’re telling me...what? You want a relationship with your lawyer boyfriend and your ex from when you were a teenager, who just got out of prison?” He had no anger or disgust in his voice. Only shock and then slight laughter. “You’ve never done anything easily in your life, have you?”
No, he hadn’t, and that hadn’t always been his choice. “You don’t understand. You don’t know what Teo and I have been through together.” Visions of red flooded his mind as he flashed back to Teo slitting the man’s throat. “You don’t know what he’s done for me. He’s not perfect, but he’s a good man, and he loves me.”
“If you love him, I’m sure he is. I don’t doubt that, but I know Tristan, and I see how you guys are together. He loves you, too.”
Guilt gnawed its way through but Josiah tried to ignore it. “I love Tristan. They’ve spent some time together, you know—Tristan and Teo. Even when I wasn’t there. I think...” He let his words trail off, knowing there was no way Elliot could possibly understand. He didn’t really understand it, but there had been something in the way Mateo and Tristan looked at each other. They were all so screwed up in so many ways; maybe this was another of them.
“Never mind. I can’t do this.”
“Hey.” Elliot put a hand on Josiah’s leg. “I’m your friend, man. Have been for a long time. You need to talk, and I’m here... And them, too, official capacity or not, with no judgment.”
“Thanks. I—” Something caught Josiah’s eye and he looked over Elliot’s head. “Teo. Hey.” He pushed to his feet. Mateo nodded at him, his eyes shifting to Elliot.
Maybe this shouldn’t be his response, but he couldn’t stop himself from grinning at the jealousy in Teo’s dark eyes. “This is my friend, Elliot. Elliot, this is Mateo.”
Elliot stood, the smile on his face sliding off when he saw Mateo. Recovering quickly, he held out his hand. “Hey, man. Nice to meet you.”
Mateo’s first finger and thumb rubbed over the earring in his ear, a slightly nervous gesture, before he shook Elliot’s hand. “What’s up?”
“I better get back to work,” Elliot smiled at Mateo and dropped his hand before returning his attention to Josiah. “Remember what I said? No matter what, buddy.” He clasped a hand down on Josiah’s shoulder before walking away.
“He looked at me like he thought I would murder you in your sleep.” The right side of Mateo’s jaw ticked.
“He’s just worried about me. He was the first friend I had here.”
Sadness hardened Mateo’s features even more.
“I didn’t mean—”
“I get it. I sent you away. He’s your friend. Hiding it won’t change shit.”
“It’s over, Teo. I don’t want to dwell on that.”
Instead of replying, Mateo nodded his head toward the sidewalk. “Walk with me, Jay. I was supposed to do this with you. Wanna walk with you out here at least once.”
“I only have about twenty-five minutes left of my lunch break.”
For the first time today, Teo smiled at him. “I know. I went to your coffee house. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you get back.”
A thrill of pleasure swept through him at Mateo’s promise. “I know you will.”
They fell into step with each other, walking a few minutes before Mateo spoke. “Things are okay with Tristan? I didn’t fuck shit up for you?”