She'd been so adamant about not using her parents' money, about not wanting to use her husband's money, about making it on her own. But there was a big difference between feeding herself on tips from the diner and bringing a kid up right. She wanted to be able to pay for ballet lessons and go see pirates at amusement parks. She wanted to make sure she could always send her child to the best doctors, the best schools, give him or her the best of everything.
Even Isabel, one of the strongest people Ginger had ever met, had said how hard it was to raise a kid alone, that she'd often wished she had a partner to share the burdens and the joys of being a parent.
Examining her thoughts one by one, Ginger knew all along that she was leaving the most important one out.
Connor.
Isabel walked in carrying a white plastic bag. “I bought two. Just to make sure.”
Ginger took the tests into the bathroom. Two minutes later, a blue plus sign stared back at her.
Joy — pure joy unlike anything she'd ever experienced outside of Connor's arms — roared through her. Ripping open the other box, she mustered up more urine and waited again. Tick-tock went her heart, pounding so hard she almost thought her ribs might splinter from the inside. But long before the two minutes were up, the open oval on the little white stick read PREGNANT in bright blue letters.
Catching sight of herself in the small, rusted mirror, she saw tears of joy streaming down her face.
She'd wanted a baby for so long, and now, entirely by accident, she'd managed to get pregnant.
No more watching new mothers try to jam their strollers into the diner's narrow front door and wishing it was her. No more looking into the future and wondering when, if ever, having kids was going to happen for her.
But then, it hit her, had it really been an accident? If she'd slept with anyone but Connor, wouldn't she have been more careful? Had she fallen in love so fast, so hard, that she'd secretly wanted to get pregnant with Connor's baby every single time they came together?
Isabel knocked on the door. “You okay in there?”
Ginger walked out of the bathroom only able to say one word.
“Pregnant.”
Isabel screamed, threw her arms around her, hugged her hard.
“I'm so happy for you,” came first, before, “It's going to be okay, whatever happens.”
“I need to go tell him. Right now.”
Isabel nodded. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No.”
This was between her and Connor, no one else.
Joy and fear knocked into each other again and again as she made her way across Isabel's beach to Poplar Cove.
And then she saw him standing on the beach and her legs almost failed her.
It's going to be okay, she repeated several times in her head, before taking a deep breath and heading toward him.
It was time to tell Connor he was going to be a daddy.
Chapter Twenty-five
CONNOR'S HEART jumped when he saw Ginger walking across the beach to him.
He'd thought the stronger path was to walk away from her, to deal with his demons on his own. In his world, a hotshot never gave up, never admitted weakness. But was that because they were all so tough? Or was it because they knew there were nineteen other guys backing them up on the mountain? A skilled crew of friends and family who would pull their ass up out of the flames if they ever needed it?
A sudden thought hit him hard in the solar plexus: Ginger was his crew.
How had he not seen it before? She'd supported him, understood him, had risked her life for him. She'd given herself up to him completely. And instead of doing the same for her, he'd run.
A thousand times he'd faced physical threats, but this was the first time his heart had ever been on the line.
This was the first time he'd fallen in love, harder and deeper than he'd known was possible.
His father was right. All of his reasons to give up Ginger were just excuses. Just as she'd always been there for him, he wanted to be there for her. To hold her hand when she was hurting. To celebrate her successes.
To love her no matter what the future held. And to let her love him back without doubt.
He wasn't going to run scared anymore. And he'd do whatever it took to get her back.
As he moved toward her it was almost as if everything was moving in slow motion. He could feel the grains of sand beneath his bare feet, the sun hot on his shoulders, hear the loons calling to each other across the lake.
Finally she was standing right in front of him.
He drank in the sight of her. She looked tired. Like she'd been crying. But radiant all the same.
“I've missed you, Ginger.”
He watched her start in surprise at his words, then look down at the sand, close her eyes and take a deep breath.
“I need to tell you something, Connor.”
“Ginger, please. Just let me say something first.”
“No,” she insisted. “I need to say this.” She squared her shoulders, lifted her chin. “I'm pregnant.”
The sun emerged from behind a tree and he was momentarily blinded.
“Say that again.”
“I'm going to have a baby.” Her voice was shaking now. “Our baby.”
“You're pregnant.” He needed a second to process the shocking news.
“It must have happened the fir-” She stumbled over the word. “The first night. Or that next morning. The timing works out right.”
He braced himself, wondered if the walls were going to start closing in. A baby meant his life as he knew it was forever over now.
Instead, he was blindsided by relief.
And pure joy.
He took her hands in his, threaded his fingers through hers. “I love you.”
She looked down at their hands, then up at him, her eyebrows furrowed in a deep frown. And then, she abruptly pulled her fingers from his. Took a step back.
“Don't say that now, just because-”
He reached for her again, but this time he pulled her against him. “Damn it, Ginger. I just told you I love you.
You're the first woman I've ever said that to.”
“I'd also bet I'm the first woman you've gotten pregnant.”
What the hell was happening here? He'd just confessed his true feelings to her and she was throwing them back in his face?
“I don't get it. I thought this was everything you wanted. A baby. A man who loves you.”