Chapter Twelve
The next morning, as they walked from his parked car toward the diner on the corner, Ryan rubbed a soothing circle on her back. "Relax. They're your friends, not a firing squad. You didn't sleep well, did you?"
Did he have any idea what it did to her when he looked at her like that? As though she was the only person in the world who mattered?
She couldn't bring herself to pretend again that she had, in fact, slept well in his awesome guest bed. "I'm not a big sleeper."
She never had been, not even when she was a kid. Almost as if she had to be ready and alert to throw her things in a bag and head off to the next town at any moment. Still, last night had been a particularly bad night. More than ever before, she'd wanted to go into his bedroom and climb into his bed, just so that he could hold her in his arms.
But that wasn't what had her blinking once, twice, then just plain gasping.
Her face was on the front page of the newspapers in the rack behind him.
Vicki read the headline out loud: "Who is the mystery woman engaged to San Francisco's most eligible bachelor?" Each word was more hollow than the one that came before it. The paper had paired the article with an old, and very unflattering, picture of her.
Ryan's jaw was tight as he pulled her away from the curb. "Ignore it. We'll be yesterday's news soon."
His siblings were already at the table by the time they walked inside. Vicki was surprised by the low-key restaurant the Sullivans had chosen to meet in. Then again, she supposed they'd have to know places off the beaten path if they wanted to get together with Smith and Ryan and be left alone.
Lori jumped up to give the two of them a simultaneous hug, and her energy was so infectious that Vicki smiled despite her dark mood.
Sophie pushed out of the faded brown booth before Vicki could tell her to stay where she was.
"Oh my, you're gorgeous, Sophie! Congratulations."
Ryan's other twin sister hugged her, or tried to anyway, with her belly big and round between them. "It's so great to see you again, Vicki. It's been way too long."
"When are you due?"
Sophie laughed. "Not soon enough." She put her hand on her stomach. "I think they're starting to get a little too happy in there."
Gabe was the next one to pull her in for a hug. He looked every inch the rugged fireman. "Look at you," she teased, "all grown up."
"Same goes for you," he said, pulling back just far enough to give her an appreciative enough glance to make her blush.
Chase had been at the high school at the same time she and Ryan had attended, and even though she'd never gotten to know him very well, she'd been following his photography for a long time.
He held out his hand and shook hers. "It's great to see you again, Vicki."
"You, too. And I have to tell you what a fan I am of your photography."
"Right back at you," Chase said with a grin. "Your sculptures are fantastic."
Ryan slid into the large booth and pulled her in beside him, holding her hand in his on top of the table as everyone else settled back into their places.
"You met Smith at the game yesterday," Ryan said, "so I think we're all good here. We're heading to Palo Alto to talk to Mom about everything after breakfast."
The gray-haired waitress came by to take their orders and Vicki didn't see even the barest flicker of excitement or recognition in her eyes when she looked at Smith or Ryan. It was clear she couldn't care less who was eating at the diner that morning.
Even though Vicki doubted she could swallow a thing, she ordered a fruit salad.
"She'll also have a side of bacon and a short stack," Ryan told the waitress before he launched into his own order.
A part of her wanted to rebel, to tell the waitress she didn't want those things, but she knew Ryan was only trying to look out for her. He was the kind of man who couldn't stand to see her want for anything. And hadn't that been why she'd texted him? Because she knew he'd drop everything and come to help her?
And yet, she continued to wonder how much of what he'd done for her this past week had been because he still felt that he owed her a debt for saving his life when they were kids. After all, hadn't that been one of the first things out of his mouth that night when she'd apologized for dragging him into her mess?
As soon as the waitress went into the back, Ryan shot her a smile and she knew he was about to tell his siblings the truth. But Vicki had already decided she needed to be the one to explain it.
"We're not really engaged," she said in a voice that couldn't possibly be overheard by anyone but Ryan's family in their corner booth.
Everyone's eyes automatically moved to her and Ryan's linked hands on the table, but even though her fingers immediately stiffened, he only held on tighter.
"I hated lying to you yesterday," she said to Lori and Smith. "In all the places I moved to as a kid, your family was the only one that ever took me in and made me feel like I belonged." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I'm so sorry."
Ryan pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You have nothing to apologize for."
Lori spoke up first. "I'm totally bummed to hear you're not actually going to be marrying my brother, because you'd be such a great addition to our family, but I have to admit I thought you seemed a little too surprised by the public congratulations at the game yesterday. Something seemed off. So what is going on with you guys? And what's with the whole engagement story?"
"Well, we're not dating either," she clarified for them, even though Ryan was still holding onto her and she was praying he wouldn't let go any time soon. She made herself meet his siblings' eyes. "The long and short of it is that I ended up in a situation with one of the board members who will be voting on my fellowship. Ryan stepped in when it seemed to make sense to pretend that I was taken."
Sophie's eyes were wide with shock and concern. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," she said, "thanks to Ryan, who came when I panicked."
"So you told the guy you were getting married to Ryan - " Gabe began.
"No, that's all me." All eyes turned to Ryan. "When I found out what a sadistic bastard the guy was, I couldn't stand the thought of him even coming near Vicki again. It seemed like an engagement might do an even better job of keeping him away than just letting him think we were dating, at least until she wins the fellowship in a few weeks. I'm the one who told the reporter about us yesterday. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to reach Vicki to let her in on the new twist before the team decided public congratulations were in order."
"How much power does this guy have over the fellowship choice?" Chase asked.
She unclenched her teeth enough to say, "A lot."
"And her ex-husband has just been pulled onto the board," Ryan added through his own clenched teeth.
Smith gave Ryan a hard look before turning to her. "Bullshit like this happens all the time in my business. But never on my movies if I can help it. Who is he? I'd like to make a few calls."
Oh God, the last thing she needed was for Smith Sullivan to get involved. Talk about juicy drama. Not to mention the fact that people would be afraid to have anything to do with her and her sculptures, just in case they looked at her wrong and she sicced the Sullivans on them.
"I appreciate that, Smith," she said, "but it's bad enough that I roped Ryan into this mess. I don't want you to get involved, too."
The waitress came over with a huge tray laden down with their breakfasts and they stopped discussing the situation. While the woman refilled coffee cups, Vicki thought again how great they all were.
What, she suddenly wondered, would it be like to actually marry into the Sullivan family?
But she already knew. It would be fantastic.
Apart from Ryan, they were what she'd missed most when they'd left California at the end of her sophomore year. Spending time with Ryan's mother and siblings in their kitchen, hanging around in the backyard, feeling like she was part of a family. She'd been in love with Ryan from the start, but it hadn't taken her long to fall for his family, too.
Now, as she looked around at all of them, it struck her again just how much they were there for each other. And even though she knew they had their arguments and irritations like any family, it was clear just how much they all loved each other, too, and that there wasn't anything they wouldn't do for one another. No matter what.
Hence this morning's meeting.
Yet, somehow, she'd managed to work her usual un-magic on them by coming here today to ask each of them to lie for her.
"I can't do this," she said suddenly, and everyone stopped with forks halfway to their mouths. "I can't ask all of you to lie for me." She looked at Ryan. "We need to tell the rest of the world that our engagement isn't real."
"No."
Ryan's voice was hard. Unyielding. Even his siblings looked surprised by it. But she'd seen him like this several times in the past week, each time when he was angry or worried on her behalf.
She knew he thought he owed her a debt, but she would have saved him a hundred times over and never once asked for anything back other than the chance to be his friend.
"I don't want the fellowship this badly, not if it comes at the expense of my friends. And not if it means even more lies are spiraling out one after the other."
Ryan's hand cupped her cheek, stilling her from saying anything else. His touch was gentle, but enough to make her look into his eyes.
"The two of us pretending to be engaged isn't hurting anyone, Vicki. All that matters to me is your safety, and that you and your art aren't unfairly penalized because you're a beautiful woman."
She felt herself flush, both at the intimate way he was touching her in front of everyone, and the fact that he'd just called her beautiful in front of his family.
"I think Ryan's right, Vicki," Sophie said softly. "Beauty can, unfortunately, be a liability around men sometimes. Especially powerful ones who think they have a right to everything they see."
Vicki was suddenly hit with a memory of the first time she'd met her ex-husband. She'd been with a group of nearly graduated art-school students out touring a few studios. Anthony had taken one look at her and claimed her. First, by insisting she work out of his studio. Second, and far worse, by slowly but surely convincing her she was far better at making statues of people and animals rather than the more nature-inspired sculptures she'd been interested in creating up until then.
At the time, it hadn't occurred to her that he'd been abusing his power. But hadn't he? Especially since she'd been so young and so inexperienced that he'd seemed like an all-knowing god of a world she so longed to be a part of?
"I agree," Chase said. "Chloe had some trouble with her ex-husband and I would have done anything to protect her. She ended up spearing him with a pair of scissors, which took him down pretty damn well, but I'd hate for your situation to come to that."
Gabe nodded. "Dispatch calls in with too many incidents that start out the way you're describing. Sounds like you trusted your instincts and were smart to call Ryan in before anything could escalate."
"Besides, we love having family secrets like this," Lori said with a small grin. "And who knows, maybe you two will be inspired to actually get together for real by the time you get the fellowship."
Not knowing what to say to that absolutely mortifying bit of pressure Lori had just put on Ryan to throw her a dating bone, Vicki said, "Excuse me," and bolted for the bathroom.
* * *
"Jesus, Lori, could you have made her feel any more uncomfortable?"
"Sorry," Lori said, even though it was clear she felt anything but. "I just really, really like Vicki and think you two would be perfect together."
Ryan wasn't actually angry with Lori. He was pissed at himself. Swearing, he said, "You guys probably remember how hung up I was on her in high school."
Gabe looked confused. "The way I remember it, you two were just friends in high school."
"We were."
"And you were always going out with other girls, weren't you?" Lori asked in a far too innocent voice.
He knew Lori's question was meant to grate on him. "I was an idiot. But it didn't matter because she wasn't interested. She still isn't."
"Why don't you just tell her how you feel and that you wish it all was real?"
He'd asked himself that question a thousand times by now, but every time it came down to the same unbreakable reason. "I can't risk losing her as a friend by coming on to her."
He'd meant it when he said she shouldn't have to pay a price for being beautiful. Not just with some creep who had power over her career, but with her friend who could barely remember to keep his hands off her.
Ryan ran a hand over his face. "Plus, her ex was such a dick that she isn't exactly looking for a replacement right now." He looked up and realized his brothers and sisters were staring at him like he was speaking Greek. "What?"
Sophie looked around the table before saying, "I think we're all a little bit stunned. Not about what you and Vicki are doing with the whole fake engagement thing. That seems to make sense, strangely. But because - " She paused to weigh her words. " - everything has always seemed so easy for you."
"Well, it isn't," he snapped.
"Tell us what you need and we'll do it," Smith said.
Ryan was pretty sure the subtext behind his brother's question had just as much to do with helping him to get Vicki to fall for him as it did with making sure some creep on her fellowship board didn't hurt her.
Knowing there was nothing anyone could do to get her to change her feelings, that she was too strong to be manipulated by anyone, he said, "If anybody asks about us, just back up our story of two old high school friends who reconnected and realized we weren't going to let our second chance pass by without taking it. We're going to talk to Mom after breakfast to clue her in."
Vicki returned to the table just in time to hear Lori say, "Your story really does sound romantic. Like every fantasy of how things could go with the one who got away. Unrequited love made right is the ultimate, isn't it? No wonder the press is all over you guys."
Vicki's face was perfectly blank as she slid back into her space beside him. Before he could smooth over Lori's ridiculously on-point statements, their waitress came to the edge of their booth.
"Something wrong with your food?" She glared at the table of completely full plates.
It was the perfect opportunity to change the subject, especially because he hadn't missed the way Vicki had tensed up at the word romantic.
"Everything's great, thanks." Ryan picked up his fork and shoved a bite of egg into his mouth before saying to Smith, "So, how's preproduction going on the film?" It was his cue to all of them that they were done talking about the fake engagement.
And he was definitely done with everyone in his family feeling sorry for him because he was in love with a woman who had only ever looked at him as a friend.
* * *
After Ryan and Vicki had left the diner to head down to Palo Alto to meet with Mary Sullivan, Sophie said, "Ryan's never been like that before. So frustrated...almost angry. I'm worried about him."
"Vicki sure looked like she's crazy about him to me." Lori made a face. "Maybe he's wrong about her not returning his feelings."
"She was terrified when they put her picture up on the big screen," Smith reminded her. "Even if she does feel something for him beyond friendship, she might not want to deal with everything that comes with being with Ryan. Marcus has had to make a lot of sacrifices for Nicola's music career over the past year."
"And if he were here, he would tell you every one of them has been worth it," Lori shot back stubbornly.
"Maybe," Chase said, "but since Ryan is probably going to be a pro coach one day, the pressures on whomever he's with are only going to get bigger. And even more public. I'm guessing Vicki's happiest when it's just her and her art."
"She's also happy when she's with Ryan," Lori argued. "I remember how much fun they used to have together. I haven't ever forgotten the look on her face the day she came over to say goodbye when we were kids, and she'd found out she was moving away again. She looked like her heart had just broken into a million pieces. So did his."
Gabe nodded. "If you ask me, he's just using the friend thing as an excuse. He should stop making excuses and make his move. I wanted Megan and I went after her."
Sophie rolled her eyes. "Sure you did, Gabe, after Summer and I totally schemed to throw you guys together."
Everyone grinned at Gabe and he had to laugh. "Okay, so maybe I needed a little help getting my head straight. Thanks, Soph."
As they all threw cash down on the table, Smith said, "We did our part by convincing her to keep the fake engagement on. Now it's up to Ryan to make the most of that extra time with her."
Smith scooted out of the booth and held out his hands to Sophie to help her up as she said, "Mom always did like Vicki." She grinned at her siblings. "I wouldn't be surprised if she has some ideas about how to make sure everything works out the way we all know it should."