“Yeah, we’ll see.” I groaned. “Okay, I’ll call you on the way there. I have to finish getting ready.”
“Okay, I’ll be waiting,” Lacey said and I hung up on her and looked at myself in the mirror and then sighed as I walked to my closet. I was going to dress sexy, even though I didn’t really want to. However, Lacey was right, I needed to get out of my own skin. I needed to have a real relationship. And if Mike was as down to earth as he seemed in his profile, then maybe he could be the one. Anything was better than me showing up to my new gig on Monday, lusting over a guy I’d only seen in a photo.
***
“Why do I listen to you?” I moaned into the phone as I walked towards the bar/restaurant in my short black skirt.
“Because if he’s hot, you’ll be thankful that you’re looking sexy.”
“There’s a fine line between sexy and a skank,” I huffed as I stopped outside the bar. “Okay, I have to go now,” I said as I looked at my watch. “He should be waiting for me inside.”
“Call me as soon as the date is done and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Lacey said excitedly. “Oh and try and text me a photo of him as well. I want to see if he looks as good in person as he does online.”
“I’m not taking a photo of some guy I’m meeting for the first time from online. Are you crazy?”
“Do it casually,” Lacey said impatiently. “You don’t have to make it obvious.”
“Yeah, ‘cause there are a million reasons why my camera would be in front of his face at a bar,” I said. “Anyways, I have to go. I’ll call you afterwards.”
“Did you forward me the contract you said you signed?” Lacey asked quickly and I stopped outside the main door.
“Yes, I did. It’ll be in your email. I’ll call you later, okay?” I hung up before she could answer and took a deep breath. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was going to say when I met Mike. We’d only exchanged two messages before he’d asked to meet and I’d let Lacey talk me into accepting. It wasn’t like I had much else going on in my life right now. I felt like a tramp as I walked into the bar with my short black skirt, black heels and white halter top that accentuated my boobs, without completely exposing them. I walked towards the bar and ignored the looks from a group of middle-aged bikers that were staring at my legs. I was grateful for the looks of appreciation, but slightly disappointed as well. I was disappointed because there was a cute, from the back, man sitting at the bar and he hadn’t even glanced in my direction. I held in an exasperated sigh and looked around for my date, Mike. My heart immediately sank as I saw a balding man in a big leather jacket grinning at me with a glass of something in his hands. Oh, God, please don’t let that be Mike, I thought to myself as I stifled a groan. I wasn’t Miss America but this man looked twenty years older than his photos and he looked like a redneck and not the cute NASCAR, ‘I’m a cowboy’ kind, either. This was no Jimmie Johnson. This was definitely Bubba and my heart sank as he walked towards me.
“Why, is that you, Elizabeth?” My heart dropped at his words and the large gap at the front of his mouth.“Howdy,” I said and groaned under my breath. I had no idea why I was talking country.
“Why, aren’t you a large spray of sunshine on a sunny day,” he said as he reached over to give me a hug. Spray of sunshine? I thought to myself. What in hell was he talking about?
“Uh, thanks,” I said as I gave him a quick hug. I watched his eyes dropping to my chest before he whistled.
“Thank you, God, you’ve gone and blessed me today,” he said as he licked his lips loudly. “Girl, you’re fine,” he said and I was almost positive I could see saliva on his lips. Gross.
“Mike?” I said weakly. Please, God, if you love me, let this be a mistake.
“ Yessiree, that is me.” He grinned and rubbed his hands together. “I didn’t know nothing ‘bout this online dating thing, but I’m God-dang sure I won the lottery.”
“Oh, ha-ha.” I attempted a laugh as my heart sank. “Where are you from?”
“Originally from N’awlins, by way of Alabama,” he said and I had no idea what that meant.
“Oh, okay, are you new to town?” I asked, wondering how long I’d have to stay on this date. I was even more annoyed that I’d used my home waxing kit down under, now. I was starting to feel an itch and I knew I couldn’t scratch it. I was sure going to kill Lacey.
“Came up here for my ex wife.” He nodded. “I’m a country boy, if you didn’t know, but I came for love and didn’t leave.”
“Your profile says you were never married,” I said accusingly, finally able to comment on something other than his looks. I wanted to call him out on his lies, but I didn’t want to be rude.
“Oh, we wasn’t married in a church.” He took a sip of his drink. “We just says we were married for tax purposes.”
“Uh okay.” I looked away from him and I could see that the man at the end of the bar was now staring at us in interest. I looked away from him quickly, even though he looked slightly familiar. I didn’t know why, though. I didn’t know any hunky dark-haired guys that looked like him.
“But that’s over now. Tammy’s gone to ‘sippi with George, a guy I used to work with.”