“But you said...” My words drifted off as he threw my dress at me.
“Get ready. We have to leave.” He walked out of the room and I stood up slowly, my heart breaking and my ass**le a sore reminder of how once again he had screwed me over. I pulled on my dress and my shoes slowly. I felt numb inside and out. This was worse than before. This time I felt like I would never get over the pain. I was forever ruined by this man, this man that I both loved and hated.
“Come on, Katie.” He called out to me from the front door. “Let’s go.”
He drove me back to the hotel in silence and I jumped out of the car in a hurry, feeling like the world was about to end.
“Thanks for last night, Katie.” He called out to me as I walked away. “It meant a lot to me.” I increased my pace as I hurried into the hotel and it took everything in me to not turn around and tell him to f**k off when he told me he would call me.
Chapter 4
Meg felt awful that I had stayed in San Francisco because of her losing her job. She knew as soon as I arrived back looking like the creature from the blue lagoon that something was wrong. My eyes were bloodshot and I hadn’t even bothered combing my hair. I knew that I looked like a mess on the airplane, but I just didn’t care. As I walked into the apartment and collapsed onto the floor in tears, I felt like my life was over. I’d only felt this way twice before, and both of those heartbreaks had been due to Brandon as well.
“Oh my God, Katie.” Meg ran into the living room and fell to the floor to hold me. “What’s wrong?”
“It was horrible.” I sobbed. “Worse that I thought it was going to be.”
“So he recognized you?” Meg’s eyes looked worried.
“Yes.” I nodded. “Right away.”
“That’s good then, right?”
“He was going to propose to me.” I cried, the tears escaping me fast and furiously now as my body shook.
“What?” Meg looked shocked. “This weekend?”
“No, silly.” I stopped crying long enough to laugh for a few seconds. “He was going to propose the Christmas we broke up.”
“Oh, wow. I’m sorry, Katie.” She hugged me close to her. “That must have been hard to hear.”
“I slept with him.” I burst out. “And it was wonderful and I thought he still loved me, but I don’t know that he ever really did.”
“What? Of course he loved you.”“He’s engaged.” I jumped up and hit my hands against the wall. “He’s engaged and I still slept with him. I feel so dirty. I can’t believe I let him hurt me like this again.”
“It’s not your fault.” Meg didn’t try to stop me from hitting the wall, but rather she stood there waiting for the moment she needed to hug me again. “Did you tell him about… you know?” Her voice trailed off, and her words ignited more pain in my chest. A pain that had been long buried and we never spoke about. I shook my head slightly and turned towards her.
“I don’t know how I’m going to face him at work tomorrow. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” I cried out. “I hate him, Meg. He used me. He made me feel cheap. Even cheaper than when he dumped me outside Butler Library. I know I lied, but I didn’t do it maliciously. I didn’t do it to hurt him.”
“He’s obviously got other issues, Katie. I mean, he is starting to sound like a bit of a psycho. Let’s be real here, you never really knew him. You didn’t even date for a year. It was a whirlwind relationship. He was your first love, and he’s turned out to be a jerk.”
“Why would he treat me like this?” I sobbed. “He has a son.”
“Oh.” Meg’s eyes widened and she held my hand.
“He told me he never even had sex with his fiancée, but they have a kid.”
“Are you sure it’s hers?”
“She’s the one that called him and told him that his son was in the hospital. As soon as she called he forgot about me. He dismissed me, like I was nothing. And then he casually thanked me for the f**k.”
“Oh, Katie.” She shook her head. “If you don’t want to go back, you don’t have to. We’ll figure something out. If I’ve got to break into my trip fund, I will.”
“No.” I shook my head vehemently. “You’ve been working on that fund since you were ten years old. I’m not going to let you use that money on rent.”
“I’d rather do that than have you face him one more time.”
I squared my shoulders and wiped my tears away, while taking a few deep breaths. “Thank you, Meg.” I squeezed her hands. “I’ll see how I feel in a few days.”
“So you’re not going back to work?”
“Not tomorrow, I’m not.” I sighed. “Let him fire me if he wants. I’m going to go in the shower now.”
“Okay, I’ll be out here if you need to talk.”
“Thanks, but I’m feeling pretty tired. I’ll probably just go to bed.”
“I’m going to start looking for new jobs right away, and not just law jobs. I’ll take anything. Just so we can pay our rent.”
“Thanks, Meg.” I smiled at her gratefully and walked to the shower in defeat. It was over. It was definitely over. Every hope and wish I’d had in the last seven years was gone. Brandon Hastings and I were never going to get back together again. I slipped my clothes off and got into the shower, allowing the scalding hot water to burn my back and hopefully wash some of my sins away. There were so many things I regretted about our history together. So many little pieces that I would have changed. I thought back to his phone call and started crying again. He had a son. A baby boy that was probably his pride and joy. A child that he loved with all his heart. A child that came first in his life. And it broke me. After everything, it was the news that he had a child that finally broke me down.