“Don’t know and don’t care.” She said in a blasé tone. “Anyways, what do you want? I’m watching Maury and I have a feeling this guy is not the baby daddy and shit is going to go down.”
“Really Lisa?” I sighed. “You took the day off to watch Maury?”
“No, not just to watch Maury. I’m going to do my nails and I’m meeting J-Lo for lunch.”
“What?” I shrieked. “How are you meeting J-Lo for lunch?”
“Oops, I meant J-Ho.” She giggled. “You remember Jennifer right, my friend that works at Macy’s and hooks me up with discounts.”
“Yeah.” I was starting to get annoyed. “Anyway, I need you to do me a favor.”
“What?”
“I need you to pick me up a sexy nurse’s outfit at Hot Topic.”
“Sexy nurse-what?” She shrieked. “Hold on a second.”
“Fine.” I walked into the coffee shop and ordered two lattes. I waited for Lisa to come back to the phone impatiently. “Lisa.” I whispered loudly into the phone, feeling annoyed to be kept waiting.
“Sorry, sorry.” She came back to the phone a minute later. “He wasn’t the daddy, but guess what?”
“Lisa, I do not have time—”
“His uncle was the daddy.” She shrieked. “But guess what? He was sleeping with the uncle’s wife, so the uncle’s child was really his. Can you believe that?”
“What are you talking about, Lisa?”
“So the main guy, I think his name was Jim, or maybe it was Bob, let’s just call him redneck number one.”
“That’s so offensive to rednecks.” I sighed.
“Are you a redneck? Do you care?”
“Lisa,” I started again. “I’m about to go back into the—”
“So redneck number one was dating trashy girl number one. Trashy girl number one had a baby, but redneck number one didn’t think it looked like him. So he went on Maury. Turns out trashy had an affair with redneck number two, who is redneck number one’s uncle. And redneck number two is married to trashy girl number two and she had an affair with redneck number one in the back of the trailer while trashy girl number one was sleeping.”
“Lisa.” I groaned.
“Get it now?”
“Lisa, I do not care about rednecks or trashy girls or trailers. Just go and get me my outfit, okay? I need to dress up like a slutty nurse tomorrow.” I shouted into the phone and heard the lady next to me gasp as she listened to my words. I groaned and walked back into the office. No wonder I hadn’t gotten the job. I was a crazy person surrounded by crazy people. As I rode back up to the office with the coffees, I wondered if wearing the nurse’s outfit was a good idea after all. Maybe I was playing into his hands. Maybe that was exactly what Leo wanted.
“Don’t worry, Hannah.” She giggled. “I’ll get you the sluttiest outfit I can find. Are you going to tell me why?”
“Not now. Bye.” I sang into the phone and hung up quickly. I didn’t want to talk to Lisa and have her filling my head with even crazier situations. Lisa loved drama and she loved crazy. She’d have me convinced that some stupid idea was great and I’d be in way over my head. And I didn’t need that at all. I was practically in over my head as it was already.
***
“You look happy.” Leo looked at me from his computer as I entered his office with the coffee. “Why do you look so happy? What did you do?”
“Nothing.” I put the coffee down on the desk. “Trust me.”
“Hmm, I don’t know. When a beautiful girl tells me to trust her, I tend to think something else is going on.”
“A beautiful girl?” I repeated feeling ridiculously happy and annoyed at the same time.
“Do you prefer the term gorgeous?” He picked up the coffee tentatively. “I’m not going to die of cyanide poisoning if I sip this am I?”
“Who’s to know?” I responded tartly, with my hand on my hip.
“I wouldn’t put it past you, Pussy Galore.”
“What?” My jaw dropped.
“Haven’t you seen James Bond?” He laughed and took a sip. “Well, it’s warm at least.”
“I should have spiked it.” I hissed as I turned around and marched out of the office. Pussy Galore indeed. Who did he think I was? I sat down at my desk with my face burning and quickly typed into google to see if he was telling the truth. There was indeed a character from James Bond called Pussy Galore. I had no idea how it had made it through the censors.
“Hannah.” Leo buzzed me on the intercom.
“Yes, Leo.” I sighed as I answered.
“Thanks for the coffee.” He said smugly. “It doesn’t taste like I’ve been poisoned.”
“Yay, I fooled you then.” I said lightly and he laughed, a deep husky sound.
“Yes, you did. By the way, you can leave early today. We’ve got a busy next couple of days and I’m sure there might be some things you need to do.”
“Oh wow, thanks.” I said feeling shocked. “I can stay on and help get everything prepared.”
“It’s okay, you’ve been great. I’ve got it from here.” He said seriously. “I need to go and talk to my dad about strategy in thirty minutes and so I won’t really need much from you for the rest of the day.”