“I’ll pass, thanks.” She didn’t even look directly at him; instead she gazed into the firelight. “That was too close, this afternoon.”
When he’d told her that his decision not to be with her was final, she’d accepted it. Balthazar hadn’t realized until now that he was counting on her to push back—to tempt him, to keep inviting him places. To offer all the pleasures of her company and her adoration, without being able to expect anything from him in return. Was he really that selfish? That stupid about his own desires?
He said the first thing that came to mind: “How does Clementine have Lucas’s number, anyway?”
“They used to sit next to each other in English,” Skye said absently. Then she sat up straighter, as if newly resolved. “We have to go back.”
“Back—where? You can’t mean the gorge.”
She shuddered. “No. I can’t face that again. Not ever, I don’t think. It’s too much. I—I’m glad you found me.” For one moment, her eyes met his, and against his will, Balthazar found himself remembering the moment he’d awakened with her in his arms, and how warm she’d felt, how her legs had brushed against his.
“Don’t run off like that again.” His voice sounded rough and unsteady, even to him. “No matter—no matter how badly I screw up.”
“I won’t. I promise.” Skye looked away from him again. “So come with me now.”
“Of course. You must want to get home.”
“No. I’m going back to school.”
“It’s—” Balthazar glanced over at the old-fashioned brass clock on the mantel. “After four thirty. Nobody’s going to be there now.”
“Which is the whole point.” Cautiously she stood, tested her steadiness, then took her coat from the chair where he’d dumped it and began shrugging it back on. “I’ve run from these ‘death visions’ every time I’ve encountered them. And I haven’t learned anything that way. It’s past time to face them down. You’ve got a key, right?”
“Yeah, but—Skye, that’s incredibly dangerous for you. You’ve nearly died before.”
“I’ve felt like I nearly died. It’s time to find out exactly what happens to me afterward. I know it’s risky, but that’s why you’re coming along.” She tossed him a challenging glance over her shoulder as she headed for the door. “You are coming along, right?”“Right.” He had no choice now but to follow where she led.
Chapter Twenty
SKYE WRAPPED HER COAT MORE WARMLY around herself as Balthazar drove through the winter storm on their way back to Darby Glen High. The snowfall had, if anything, only increased; the true winter of upstate New York was now well under way. All around them cars crawled along, cautious on slush-slick roads.
“Are you sure about this?” Balthazar said. His handsome face looked almost brutish in the harsh dashboard lights of his old beater car. “We could try later. Another day, maybe, when you haven’t had such a rough time.”
“If I wait, I’ll chicken out. Let’s just do this.” Skye tucked a lock of her hair behind one ear. On the radio, some guy sang about sadness and loss, and how they kept you up at night. “I’m not feeling the … enhanced senses, or whatever they are, so much anymore. So it probably won’t get to me until I’m in Ms. Loos’s room.”
“Wait—that’s right. You said that today, you could sense it even outside her room. It enhanced your psychic senses, too?”
It. The bite. The moment he’d pulled her close in her bed, and she’d felt herself surrendering completely. They were just going to call the bite “it” from now on. Fine. “I guess so. It made me a little crazy—went running off through the hallways, and evil Coach Haladki was screeching at me—”
“Nola’s not that bad. Just cranky.”
“I knocked Britnee Fong down in the hallway, which led to a whole screaming match between me and Craig. Today’s been awesome all over.”
Balthazar hesitated before saying, “Screaming match?”
“Well. Not screaming. Neither of us wanted the entire school to hear. But we had it out about our breakup.” The taste of it was still sour. “It was a good thing, I guess. We talked about how weird things got after Dakota died, and how we—” Did she want to say this out loud to Balthazar? What the hell, she decided. After a guy had bitten you while na**d in your bed, privacy pretty much flew out the window. “How we never should have slept together. We weren’t going to be together long. Craig already knew it, and I… I guess I should’ve known, too.”
Even Craig admitted it was his mistake. That ought to have helped her more than it did. Maybe it would in time.
“You couldn’t have been thinking clearly that soon after your brother’s death,” Balthazar said. “He shouldn’t have done that to you.” She could see him clenching and unclenching his jaw in the dim light, as if he were biting back something else to say. Her face flushed warm as she realized that he was jealous—that the thought of her with Craig got under his skin.
Even one day ago, that jealousy would’ve made her incredibly happy. Now, however, Skye didn’t see how it mattered. So what if Balthazar wanted to be with her, if he refused to do anything about it?
Slowly she said, “If a guy wants to be with you, he should be. If he doesn’t, he should keep his distance.”